Monday, February 22, 2010

Maturity Index:

We often think that we bring out the immaturity in each-other, we egg each-other on to eat more candy, wear more glitter and say embarrassing things to strangers. So, it would be understandable for us to assume that spending the weekend apart, Paige in Delaware with her parents and Holly at home in Brooklyn, we'd behave with a bit more maturity than usual, lets see if that theory holds.


-Wanders around Whole Foods after work to buy ingredients with which her boyfriend can make her dinner- Age 42

-While wandering, eats Bunny Cracker Snack Mix (delicious)- Age

-Awkwardly asks strangers about buying steak; "What is top round?" "Could bottom round sound any grosser?" "Is the 'rump' what I think it is?"-Age 16

-In Brooklyn, Holly shows off her purchases: raw shrimp, 2 large yams, goat cheese, an orange, German mustard, $2.76 worth of the antipasti bar, and the rest of the Bunny Mix- Age 18

-I mean...Yams?-Age 63

-Drinks majority of wine and picks fight about home entertainment system- Age 24

-While waiting for train back to her parents home in Delaware, Paige purchases the latest issue of Harpers Bazaar and a bottle of water- Age 30

-To make sure no one sits next to her on the train, Paige piles her weekend bag, purse, and jackets on the seat next to her and pretends to be asleep whenever she senses someone approaching- Age 13

-Eats ham and cheese sandwich dinner her boyfriend packed for her- Age 7

-Paige's parents (and their beloved dog) pick Paige up at the train station and bring Paige home where she promptly heads to the fridge and drinks two Stella's in about 7 minutes- Age 20

-Paige's mom shows her a website called "Puppy Party", the two Tibbetts women spent a good half hour shrieking and grabbing each-others hand, bonding over puppy antics- Age 6


-Holly opts for leftover yams and shrimp, instead of usual Peter Pan sprinkled donut- Age 32

-Holly helps a man with a cart get up the stairs to the G train shuttle bus, thinking she is a good Samaritan- Age 20

-Man with cart is actually extremely mean and his unattended cart barely misses small child as it rolls around on bus- No age, just be careful of people carrying their carts onto buses.

-At home, Holly changes into figure skating dress and tights, while mocking boyfriend's choice of jeans ("Come on, wear something more 'olympian'")-Age 12

-At the skate rental booth, Holly requests "authentic" skates and employee responds with "huh?"-Age 12

-Holly attempts skating tricks that put her blades at eye-level with skating children-Age 9

-Later that night, Holly and her boyfriend go to Spring Lounge for a friends 32nd birthday-Age 32

-Jolly Rancher Lollipop doesn't give Holly the "energy" she hoped for so she has her boyfriend take her home-age 16

-Paige's mom wakes her up around 8:30 by throwing the dog on Paige's bed and exclaiming, "Its time to go tot he MALL!" Paige and her mom drive a half hour to "the greatest mall on the east coast, KING OF PRUSSIA" listening to Taylor Swift and the Glee Soundtrack the entire drive-Age 15

-At Nordstom Rack Paige and her mom "kill it" in the shoe section, scoring Paige's "dream shoes" TWO colors for under $50. Paige and her mom congratulate themselves on the inherent Scottish thriftiness- Age 27

- Paige helps her mom find the perfect "springy, peachy, shiny" lipstick at Laura Mercier- Age 32

- Back at home, Paige shows her mom the video for Vampire Weekend's "Giving up the Gun", they simultaneously scream when Jake Gyllenhall comes on the screen- Age 18

-Paige helps her parents make a delicious and nutritious meal, all with ingredients from Trader Joes- Age 35

-Paige gets a little too excited about drinking her parents "expensive wine" (bottle over $3) and over-serves herself- Age 23

-Paige is confused to find herself really REALLY excited about the mens short track speed skating, feels strangely proud to be American- Age 37


-Holly miscalculates the sunshine-to-temperature ratio and goes for a run in shorts and a tank top-Age 14

-Holly and Kristy go into (well known Vegan restaurant) S'Nice and order Thai "Chicken" Wrap thinking "Chicken" means chicken. It does not- Age 21

-Holly purchases a white jean jacket and a mood ring shaped as a starfish-Age 12

-Holly refuses to pet "cute" bodega cat that Kristy is immediately enamored with- Age 24

-Back at home, Holly and roommates eat French fries, vanilla yogurt, and kettle corn for "dinner" while watching (and salivating over Paul Rudd in) "I Love You Man" -Age 24

-Paige's parents let her sleep in till 11am- Age 17

-Paige's mom makes breakfast of raspberry-jam-and-Nutella-filled Ebelskiver's (they are like mini-pancakes and you are jealous) and Paige and her parents watch "Real Sports: With Bryant Gumbel"- Age 40

-Paige and her mom watch "16 and Pregnant" and "Intervention: Huffing" back to back- Age 14

-Paige and her mom shop for nail polish- Age 16

-Paige's parents drop her off at the creepy bus station in downtown Wilmington, Paige is 90% positive she sees her 16 year old cousin waiting for the same bus but is afraid to approach her because asking a strange teenager "Hey, aren't you my cousin?" would be beyond awkward.- No age, Paige just has a big family.

-Paige's possible-cousin doesn't make it on the bus and Paige starts to get nervous that perhaps her cousin was trying to run away from home- Age 30 for maternal-ish instincts (that quickly pass)

-Paige comes home and the girls make sure to watch season finale of "Keeping up with the Kardashians" where the oldest Kardashian, while in labor, pulls her own baby out of her loins, becoming more than just a reality star- no points, just that's totally awesome and we really want one of the "16 and Pregnant" kids to do the same

Though Holly ate yams instead of frosting, and Paige voluntarily watched the Winter Olympics, we had an average age of 16.8! Our youngest in quite some time! Apparently, Paige's hometown brings out her inner high-schooler and Holly can't stay away from mood rings. Hopefully over the next week we'll "grow up".

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