Sunday, January 16, 2011

The Maturity Index: CHERISH!

pure joy

Happy Monday friends and our Moms! Paige and I sat down to watch the Golden Globes Sunday night and decided we had an insanely happy weekend and that we should share it.
Here goes the first Maturity Index of 2011:

-Holly comes home to find Paige tubbing (being in the bath tub with wine having a great time)-Age 54
-Chrissy comes home with free champagne she got from work. She pops bottles, almost popping her eye out. Everyone cheers for Champ-Age 18
-Shan comes over in time for Chrissy to make everyone Beachwater cocktails, recipe below:
1 part Sprite
1 part Grapefruit Belvedere vodka
1 part Hypnotiq
Serve in champagne classes-Age 17

Beach Water
-The girls engage in an all-girl, crazy dance party until Evelyn car service arrives to bring all the girls to Union Hall- Age 17
-The girls arrive at Union Hall to join Emily and Jess, someone (not Paige or Holly) purchases a round of Lions Head Light-Age 21
-Holly goes freakin' nuts cheering on karaoke performers-Age 12
-Holly, Shan, and a reluctant (for 3 seconds) Paige take the stage to sing Cherish by Madonna-Age 33 (note: Cherish is Paige's favorite Madonna song! Also there is iPhone-video footage of this!)
-Paige, Shan, Holly and the flamboyant DJ's sing and dance to Cherish while the crowd talks amongst themselves. An Age 3 for the crowd, because that's rude.
-Then Holly takes shots of tequila, Chrissy plays bocce with a cute boy and Paige checks up on everyone-Ages 21, 40, 50
-Girls leave and no one falls asleep in the cab!-Age 13 and up.

-Holly, Paige, and Chrissy wake up a little late and get ready in 45 seconds to go try on bridesmaid dresses-Age 25

-On the way, they need to stop for snacks and drinks at their corner bodega, making them 15 minutes late-Age 16
-The girls become besties with woman working at Addrienes Bridal Shope and are sorry to hear she wasn't even a BRIDESMAID in her best friends wedding-Age 25
-The girls go to Whole Foods for a wholesome brunch and Holly gets crumbs all of her "bib" (it was a scarf!)-Ages 31 and 2
-The girls go to Here Comes the Bridesmaid to try on more dresses. At this point they've become pros at and prove that we are TOTALLY AWESOME at trying on dresses because we know what we like-Age 25

-The girls come home with plans to nap, but in stead opt to watch Sundays at Tiffany where Alyssa Milano decides (SPOILER ALERT!) not to marry her actor fiance and instead marries her imaginary best friend-Age 14
-Honey, One of Holly's top 5 fave movies comes on and everyone is forced to watch about 8 minutes of this before the Alexi Vodka and Hynotiq come back out-Age 18
-All of the girls take turns sitting in a large cardboard box that Chrissy had received in the mail-Age 3

-Whilst playing an incredible drinking game that involves answering obscure "What if..." questions as fast as you can, everyone gets to learn that if Holly could rename her hometown she would call it 'Brazil'-Age 22
-After finishing the bottle of Hpnotiq, the girls go to Brooklyn Bowl, expecting to dance to a crazy cool DJ. Instead, they are troubled to find a ukulele-wielding Beatles cover band-Age 23
-Paige and Holly boo'd and boo'd at the band-Age 11
-The girls leave to go to The Levee where Chrissy enjoys the free cheeseballs-Age 5
-Everyone goes back to Underhill and Paige and Chrissy scream quotes from Lost in Translation while Holly falls asleep in her dungeon. Seriously, no age.

-Holly crawls into bed with Paige and Chrissy. They confirm their plan of skipping their bridesmaid dress appointment to instead, go purchase mood rings-Age 12
-On the way to the mood ring store, the girls head to Met to visit their "deli guy" and get the most delicious $4.00 sandwiches-Age 25
-Holly decides the Met sandwiches are so good that the "sandwich artists" at Subway are more actually "con Artists"-Age 33

-Fffiinnnaallyyy the mood rigs are purchased! Holly gets a tiny heart and Paige gets a tiny unicorn-Age 12
-GOLDEN GLOBE TIME! The girls eat pasta and brussels sprouts and Cheez-Its while recalling memories of past award show parties-Age 25
-Sadly, Jennifer Love Hewitt does not win a Golden Globe for her role as a Texas hooker in the Lifetime movie, The Client List. Holly murmurs, "good night Jennifer, I'll see you tonight in my dreams", this is because Holly's been having a recurring dream where she and JLH are best friends who love to shop for bikinis. Ugh, no age because its too weird.

Bad mom or good mom?

-During commercial breaks Paige and Holly YouTube TLC videos while trying to decide what to sing at Karaoke next week because, yeah we're doing it every weekend now. You're welcome. Age 20

Average Age: 19!

Stay tuned for next weekend when Paige and Holly learn the whole rap in the song "Waterfalls".

Forever Your Girls,
Paige & Holly