Wednesday, May 26, 2010

HUMPDAY:


are you kidding??

Forever 21 Apocalypse

Paige and myself have some nice things. We each own a Marc by Marc Jacobs bag, we each own remarkably good fake Chanel bags, have matching pairs of Jeffrey Campbell's made entirely of wood, Paige has a Ralph Lauren prom dress and I own a thrifted St. John skirt suit. But honestly that’s about as luxurious as it gets between the two of us. So it’s really no secret that the majority of our clothing comes from the one and only Forever 21. Why pay $199 for a pair of jeans when you could pay $9? Or why pay $25 for a t-shirt when you could pay $2.50? Why pay $2750 for an evening gown when you could pay $27.50? Seriously, the list goes on.

Forever 20-rug

And we really don’t need nor deserve nice things. I am constantly spilling everything from mustard to merlot on my clothes, while Paige’s favorite clothing items literally serve as an area rug for the floor of her room.

Forever 21 across the board, well, except for Kate but she's our classy British friend


So when the mustard stain won’t come out or Paige is in no shape to do laundry, she and I and all of our cash-strapped friends stop by Forever 21 for a new $33.00 wardrobe.


That, as Paige pointed out this morning, is slowly starting to change.


It's fun trying hats at Forever21 and pretending to mourn something!


Skirts that used to run for $11.50 are now $17.00 while we both figure their prom dress 2010 collection (that we buy and wear) has gone up at least 20% this year. What gives?!
So this hump day goes out to Paige, myself, our friends, girls who like cheap leopard print sweater dresses, 14-year olds, and every other woman/tween that relies on Forever 21 to get an affordable shopping fix.


FDP Harajuku style

We understand your frustration with not wanting to pay $5 more than you’re used to for a basically disposable night-on-the-town dress. What’s next? Having to pay for underwear that costs more than $3? Shoes for more than $19.80? We won’t stand for it.

We advise all of you frugal fashionistas to choose your items wisely this Memorial Day weekend, happy Hump Day.


We'll leave you with this killer Haul Video that features Forever 21 and lots of tween vernacular. This girl is kinda great, and how badly do you want a closer look at her bracelet collection? And if her career as a "Haul" girl goes belly up we seriously think she could make it in perfect eyelining.

Forever Your Girl,

Holly




Monday, May 24, 2010

Maturity Index:

Beagle Howls and Mourning LOST


This weekend was a bit of a dark one. Literally, it was quite cloudy. And figuratively, Paige was really sad about one of her favorite shows ending (you know how we get about TV). But as with the ending of anything, we chose to look forward. Even discussing matching swim-wear for the 4th of July.


Friday:


Holly:

-Goes to Brasserie Ruhlman with coworkers for after work cocktails- Age 32

-Has her glass refilled twice over anyone else- Age 21

-Same goes for French fry consumption- Age 9

-Holly and boss start planning office talent show contest while Holly plots her tap dancing routine in her head- Age 12

-Holly meets Shawn by the Endless Summer Taco Truck in Williamsburg, where she stands next to the painting of the Mexican lady on the truck because they are "twins"--Age 16

"Gemelos"


-At the bar, Holly insists on "opening a can of Shufflebard whoop ass" with Shawn, however the opposing team totally dominates any sort of drunk shuffleboard skills Holly thinks she had after beating her dad once-Age 18

-Holly whines until Shawn drags her onto the bus to go home-Age 12


Paige

-Paige and Kristy leave Brooklyn to meet Chrissy in the city. Kristy's Riannah-inspired Charlotte Russe shoes break on the way to the train, they detour and purchase Super Glue to repair the wedges. This only works for a few minutes until the other shoe breaks too. Kristy is made to shuffle-walk the whole night. Glue Shoes...- Age 16

-Drink mason-jar margaritas at Sweet and Viscous with roommates- Age 25

-Krisys boyfriend bribes Paige with free gin and tonics if she will agree to come to the next bar with them and "Please be nice" to his friends- Age 21

-Paige can only be nice for one more drink before walking home to Steven's house, they eat ice cream and watch some vampire movie- Age 13


Saturday:

-Paige is the fist person at Old Navy, scoping matching "Patriotic Bikini's" for she and Holly (And you, Barb!) to wear on the 4th of July- Age 13

Star Spangled Tan Lines

-Paige, Kristy and Chrissy meet for "breakfast" of street vendor hot dogs, discuss the previous night- Age 16

-Paige and Chrissy meet emily on the Upper East Side for an exhibit of "artifacts" from the set of LOST, nerd-out over the Dharma Van and Mr. Clucks costume- Age 20 (and super nerdy)

-The girls get brunch at Paige's favorite childhood diner, E.J.'s. They order mimosas and talk about men, but never once do they compare themselves to "Sex and The City" (thats how you know you are actually becoming a New Yorker)- Age 25


-Holly and Shawn go to Willyburg farmers market for breakfast, Holly makes sure not to fill-up on an organic breakfast as not to spoil her future FroYo-Age 12

-Holly "beagle howls" at beagles passing by-Age 9

-Paige, Holly and Chrissy reconvene on couch and watch movie trailers on Paige's computer. Paige is bossy and they fight over what to watch:

-Paige likes the movie about the people who run a postitiute ranch- Age 24

-Holly chooses the one about the Argentinian writer, it has subtitles- Age 40

-Chrissy insists on "Despicable Me"- Age 8

-They all get a little teary-eyed at "Eat, Pray, Love"- Age 30


-After all the previews have been watched everyone settles-in for a Lifetime Movie Block entitled "Dysfunction Junction"- Age 37

-In one, Anne Heche is a junky bum-mom who's daughter, Kristen Bell (xoxo, Gossip Girl) saves the day.

-In the following, Kiersten Dunst is a preggo 15 year old with a huge attitude problem, go figure.

Bum Mom


-After her plans fall through, Paige debates whether or not to leave the house, considering she has a chin-zit AND the first-ever episode of "Sex and the City" is on TBS- Age 15

-Paige decides to go out anyways, since TBS severely censors the SATC, meets Kristy in DUMBO, plays beer pong- Age 18

-Holly forces Shawn to spend his Saturday watching SATC reruns-Age 20

-They eat spicy Indian, Shawn admits to having seen most of the episodes, pass out-Age 31


Sunday:

-Holly makes Paige a plate of leftover Indian, that Paige eats while wrapped in a faux fur blanket at 8am-Age 24

-Holly warns Paige about the Vindaloo lamb spiciness, Paige eats it carelessly and does some little coughs-Age 17

-Paige is couch-ridden, watches "The Jersey Shore", naps- Age 19

-Holly comes home from Soho shopping and talks about going to the gym while eating rest of Indian (that stuff can really stretch!) and watching new episodes of the Real Housewives of New Jersey-Age 24

-Paige and Holly do routine smack talk on housewives while tease-throwing bags, water bottles, etc at each other- Age 15

-Paige and Chrissy prepare for the LOST series finale by making treats: lasagna aka "LOSTsagna" and Gar-Locke Bread- Age 23 (again, way nerdy)

-Holly tries to contribute (she is not a Lost watcher/follower) and makes the connection that LOST's Juliette is played by the same woman who played Angelina Jolie's girlfriend in the movie "Gia", congratulates herself, then goes to bed-Age 20

-Paige eats ice cream, cries a lot at LOST, has a hard time falling asleep because she's "Seriously, just so sad"- Age 24 (and kind of pathetic)


Seriously. Like, so sad.


This slightly-uneventful weekend aged us at 20 years old. Next weekend Paige needs to stop crying about LOST and man-up, and Hols needs to go easy on the fro-yo because we have business to attend to. Bachlorette-ish party AND Kristy's Birthday! Age is just a number.


Forever your Girls,

Paige and Holly

Wednesday, May 19, 2010


Paige and Holly's Countdown to Atlantic City

As my mother would say, “It’s good to have things in life to look forward to”. Well yeah.

Could anyone forget the raging success of TGIF (the restaurant and the phrase and the two hour television block featuring Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Moesha, Full House and Sister, Sister)? Or those little Y2K clocks? Or the digital clocks counting down to the end of Bush's presidency? The 12 days of Christmas? 8 nights of Hanukkah? All of these are tools used in getting people hyped up for something great.

Well Paige and I have lots of things coming up that we're looking forward to:
This Friday, this Saturday afternoon, Saturday night...oh, and Atlantic City June 5th.

Besides booking one room at Harrah’s AC (for about 8 girls to share) and wondering how this night-club-that’s-in-the-pool-is-going-to-work-because-does-that-mean-you-wear-your-stringy-bikini-to-a-bar?


This is for realsies the pool club disco bikini bar we are going to

We really haven’t done much planning.

So we’ll start now, here’s the countdown/checklist/to do/get this shiz done list in anticipation of our Atlantic City trip, our TGIACTB (Thank God It’s Atlantic City Time Biotch).

10.Purchase enough stringy bikinis that can be worn to the swim up bar AND the nightclub bar
9. Figure out how this nightclub bar pool deal works
8. Deciding whether or not one can wade instead of swim to the swim-up bar. (Swimming + Tequila afternoon = Danger)
7. Determine kind of booze we will be sneaking onto train/hotel/possible into pool nightclub bikini disco.
6. Buy train tickets
5. Watch as much of The Real Housewives of New Jersey to pick up current swimwear trends, slang, club wear (bikinis?), etc. Oh, this includes some faux Jersey tats!


Tats on backs!

4. Go to Costco or similar bulk food emporium to stock up on snacks because "I'm not spending a DIME once we get there."
3. Put together an ultimate AC playlist with an appropriate balance between Jersey's own Bruce Springstein, and you know, Ke$ha and such.
2. Start "recycling" water bottles that will house our "sneaky booze" as we wander around the hotel and nightclubpoolbardiscoteque.
1. Learn to play cards (Go Fish!, Old Maid, and War don't count) so we can respectfully win cash$$$ in the casino.

We will keep you updated with how our countdown is going and feel free to comment on what else we should probably add to our check list.


Remember when these ladies tried their luck in A.C?

Forever Your Girl,

Holly

The kind of pictures you can expect us to be looking at on my 25th birthday, June 6th. Note the blur.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

HUMPDAY:

At least you aren’t a girl between the ages of 4 and 13.

Today, USWeekly.com confirms that Justin Bieber went on a date with a girl last night. And not just any girl, forget feeling happy for some no-name leggy 8 year-old. Music/movie/$$$ making Miley Cyrus was the lucky young lady escorted to sushi by Justin Bieber and his hair-do.


Oh Miley. Although being the spawn of the creator of “Achy Breaky Heart” isn’t something to be jealous of, Miley’s got it made pole dancing on Nickelodeon award shows to sell her albums.



Does she really get to be bff’s with Ryan Seacrest AND eat raw fish with Justin Bieber? This doesn't seem fair. And, why do we, as 24 year-old women, decide this is even worth caring about? Probably because we remember all too well just what it felt like to be a jealous tween.

For the ladies of the 90's generation, let's remember what it feels like:

-This would have been like all three Hanson brothers playing POG with Christina Ricci.
-Or Jonathan Taylor Thomas taking Jodie Swetin for Ben & Jerry’s.


J.T.T. with flowers and a vest, consider them a gift!


-Or Devon Sawa caught playing tonsil hockey with Kirsten Dunst while “Dreamlover” plays in the background.

Devon Sawa without pants, consider it a gift.


-Or Joshua Jackson dating the deviant girl who plays hockey in figure skates in The Mighty Ducks.


Joshua Jackson, 9 years old and all sweaty, consider it a gift.


-Or the lead singer from Ace of Base going to a rave with Macauley Caulkin.

It’s all just not fair.

This is for you, young ladies who carelessly eat Haagen Daz on a Friday night in Limited Too silk P.J.’s watching Twilight and listening to Jordan Sparks. Although we envy your metabolism and your maid (your mother), we totally get the jealous rage you feel against Miley. This humpday goes out to you, your girlfriends, and your in-the-closet boyfriends. And Justin Bieber, if you’re reading this, you can do better, say, triple dating 2 twenty-four year old’s that wear matching outfits and ALSO like sushi?

You know where to find us.

Forever your girl,

Holly

Monday, May 10, 2010

Maturity Index:

This week Holly jetted off to the Midwest and Paige rode bikes and wore Holly's flannel. Lets see how old that made them:


Friday:
Paige:
-After work Paige drinks the Margarita Holly left in the freezer from Wednesday (Cinco De Mayo) and watches The Real Housewives of New York while thinking about how tired the work week had made her- Age 35
-Paige, Sarah, Kristy and Chrissy paint their nails neon colors and listen to the Jay-Z Unplugged album and do a fashion show of each-others clothes.- Age 14
-Everyone rides bikes to a Mission Dolores, a new outdoor bar in Park Slope, all while sining Mary J's part in "Can't Knock the Hustle" and trying to high-five while cruising on bikes....in heels- Age 19
-At Mission Dolores, the girls all order one drink and then chug water for the rest of the evening because everyone wants to be in good shape for the ride back- Age 29 (And the smartest, most mature move ever)
-After not meeting any cute boys, and not bothering to talk to anyone besides each other, the girls ride back. They contemplate getting tacos at Mayan Taqueria, but then remember how weird the owner was two weeks ago, so they head home and watch Sex and the City and eat "Mac N' Cheese by Chrissy".- Age 16

Holly:
-Wakes up early to have half regular/half decaf coffee with her grandparents who reside in Omaha, NE-Age 60
-Holly goes to see her little sisters new Omaha estate-like apartment, which is half the price and triple the size of Holly and Paige's place. Her complex includes 3 pools, a gym, a movie theater, and probably a has a pony corral somewhere in there too. Holly attempts to appear unimpressed and points out that Biggie wasn't born in Omaha, he was born in BROOKLYN-Age 14
-Holly is decently-well behaved during Marina's graduation ceremony, only making a few cracks about the better-looking Dental School graduates and their "hand talents"-Age 24
-Holly says Marena looks like a "little bride" in front of Marena's new boyfriend-Age 16
-Later at Marena's graduation party, Holly and Marena sing and (mostly) dance to TLC's "Creep" while holding hands-Age 16

-Holly's parents take her back to the hotel where Holly finishes off a bag of Cheese Chex Mix and passes out-Age 21

Saturday:
Paige:
-Its raining, so everyone sleeps till NOON- Age 16 (and gross)
-Everyone finally wakes up, gets dressed in biking gear (short dresses and booty shorts?) and preps by eating a breakfast of popsicles and listening to Madonna- Age 14
-Paige leads everyone on a new, streamlined route to the Red Hook Taco Trucks (which are finally in season!). The girls assess the trucks then settle on meals of shrimp, chicken, pork, and beef tacos, plantain and oaxaca cheese papusas, grilled corn with mayonnaise cotija cheese and chilli powder, and pina juice. Kristy has a Diet Coke- Age 23
-After the cultural feast, the girls bike (wrong way on a one way street) to DUMBO, get a strange, nervous man to take a picture of them ("only if Shanfeild leaves her helmet on!") and check out the hot dads pushing strollers around- Age 19
-After almost getting run-down while biking on Fulton Street, the girls finally collapse on the couch and find themselves watching "In Her Shoes" on FX, debate over whether Toni Collette was well-cast as Cameron Diaz's sister, all decide this is the weirdest thing we could be watching and switch to The Kardashians- Age 17
-Paige and Chrissy meet Steven at "the secret" Battery Park Movie theatre to see Iron Man Two. The trio eats a large bucket of popcorn before the previews start, Chrissy laughs uncomfortably loudly at a preview for an animated movie and after the movie Paige spends 10 minutes staring at the gum-ball machines, searching her purse for quarters- Age 13
-Paige, Chrissy and Steven enjoy a late dinner in the West Village and discuss topics like online dating, and adoption- Age 34

Holly:
-Holly wakes up and goes to the hotel gym for about 12 minutes-Age 24
-Everyone is disappointed it's too cold to go to Omaha Zoo, so instead Holly and her mom go to the Lincoln Mall-Age 30
-where they shop for a button-up sweatsuit with embroidered butterflies for Holly's grandmother, a tiger-skin trench for Holly, and Linda buys a pair of "Not Your Daugher's Jeans" that Heidi Klum also owns-Age 40
-Holly, her 15-year old sister, and her dad have a relatively serious conversation about that Playmate Kendra's new sex scandal-Age 13
-Everyone reconvenes later for pizza and Marena wears her grad-cap throughout. Holly is jealous, and brings up the time she beat Marena in arm wrestling-Age 24
-Everyone watches Betty White on SNL and Holly is very uncomfortable sitting between her grandpa and dad during the NPR skit talking about Betty White's moist "muffin"-Age 16



Sunday:
Paige:
-Paige wakes up early and has a nice chat with her mom on Mothers Day- Age 25
-Paige lays on the couch in her robe drinking tea and finishing Valley of the Dolls- Age 40
-Paige meets Chrissy, Sarah and Kristy at Ground Support and they rehash the weekend. Everyone teases Sarah for getting her makeup done at MAC on a sunday morning and Paige calls her "Kim Kardashi-Eyes"- Age 23
-Paige, Chrissy and Kristy "shop" at LF and Free People on Spring street, then SHOP at Forever 21 where Paige whines that she "didn't find a treasure"- Age 16
-Paige and Steven go out to dinner, purchase organic chocolate at Whole Foods to eat while they watch the Banksy documentary "Exit Through the Gift Shop"- Age 35

Holly:
-Holly has a Starbuck's-laced heartfelt goodbye with her family, then has Marena drop her at the airport-Age 24
-Holly sleeps on the plane AND throws her trash away when the stewardess comes around instead of just hiding it in the seat pocket in front of her-Age 24
-Shawn picks Holly up from the airport and shows her the iPhone App he used to check her flight status-Age 40
-They watch "There Will be Blood" and eat Razzles until they need to spit them out because Razzles are pretty gross-Age 14
-Kristy and Chrissy come home and everyone chats about the weekend-Age 24
-Holly whines that she wants to eat her dinner on the couch while wearing sweatpants. Kristy is annoyed by the whining, so Shawn takes Holly Peter's and feeds her 1/2 a chicken to shut her up-Age 15
-Holly and Shawn finish the night eating at Tastee D-lite (Shawn got vanilla and Holly got Peanut Butter Moosemallow)-Age 14

Piage:
22.8 this weekend

Holly:
22.5 this weekend

Consuming fro-yo flavors named after animals is slightly less mature than consciously avoiding men that own taco joints, this gives Paige the edge on maturity this weekend.

Next weekend Paige's Mom and Kristy's whole fam are in town!

Forever Your Girls,
Paige and Holly

Sunday, May 9, 2010

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY BARB AND LINDA

No doubt about it, us FDP girls love our moms. We idolize them, we seek their advice and crave their approval. We use any excuse to tell anyone who will listen about how smart, beautiful, funny and loving our moms are. To us, everyday is basically mothers day, since we can hardly ever get through an hour without thinking WWMD?

So we want to take an opportunity today to thank our fabulous mothers, and all the other mother figures around the world for doing what they do, making sacrifices we can't even comprehend, birthing us, putting up with us, loving us (even when it was hard to) and making us into who we are.

We love you Mummies!

xoxoxox

Forever your (baby) girls,
Paige and Holly

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Congratulations Marena!


My 18 month younger sister, Marena, and I, had always spent our days together, side by side, playing and imagining what the rest of our lives would be like. As children, I wanted to be a lawyer (like Miss Piggy was on a Muppets episode), and Marena yearned to be a cashier. I would “defend” Marena as she sat, quietly, next to me in a “court”, and Marena would ring up our pantry items and tell me to have a nice day.

Marena and I would often sing along to 90’s Disney hits such as “Under the Sea” and “A Whole New World”. I would prance around singing Jasmine and Ariel’s parts, and would force Marena into playing the part of the doe-eyed Arabian street thief or a ballad-sy deep-sea crab.


I always got my first pick of Barbie dolls and Skipper dolls (we both liked Skipper’s bff Courtney because she was had crimped brunette hair). And when it came to Ken dolls we only had one Ken, so I, naturally, got the toothy man doll while Marena’s Skipper doll had to go on dates with a small stuffed clown named Bozo.


Marena and I, though we had separate rooms, beds, bedding, etc, slept in the same bed for most of our childhood. Some night’s we would fight over covers, pillows, or who got the next day’s last bowl of Coco Puffs. Most nights, however, we would use our “indoor” voices talking about how things would be when we were older. How we would both own convertibles and trees made of candy and houses that rivaled that of Daddy Warbucks.

Starting this weekend, we will now BOTH be severely disappointing our younger selves. I am in no way close to near to being a lawyer, and this weekend Marena will officially have a career that is in no way cashier-ish.

Marena, you would have made an awesome cashier, really. However I think you’ll do better at making people’s lives so much better, as you’ve always done for me.



I love you and congratulations Nurse Marena!

Forever Your Girl,

Holly

P.S. Paige, Chrissy, Kristy and I all expect free phsyicals4life.


Wednesday, May 5, 2010

HUMPDAY:

At Least You aren't US, In the Wake of James Franco Rumors

Forever and ever and ever no matter what...

So, just on the heels of our excitement about "Howl", and our other "Humpday" post about how it sucks to be any dude that ISN'T James Franco we've been dealt a serious blow. Could it be?! Could it be that Holly and my chances with him are about to become even SLIMMER? In the sage-like words of Lo Bosworth, "there's been talk...".

What we wouldn't give to gossip with Lo while watching Audrina eat something...

Daily Intel (aka the gods honest truth) is speculating that the love of our collective lives, our dream man, our body pillow, our holy grail James Franco could be gay.

Could it be?

Don't get us wrong, Holly and I love the gays and their Christmas pageants, and their literature and fashion and all the other wonderful things us straight people borrow from them, but this just doesn't seem fair. I mean, all the hot guys in New York are gay already, do they really need <3james<3>

Ricky with his babies (they got jipped on the skin tone gene)

This sucks. Last year, Holly and I made a "vision board" with all the things we wanted for our lives (this is from the book "The Secret", or something, I think Holly saw it on Oprah). On our vision board we put pictures of:
-a cute puppy (of course)
-two girls (a blond and a brunette) sunning themselves in matching gingham, french-cut bikinis (because we imagine ourselves with a lot of vacation time, and asses that look good in french cut bikinis)
-pictures of books (that we plan to write)
-a picture of Amy Sedaris holding a bunny (because, obviously)
-pictures of Loubuittons (our planned first purchase with our money from the books we'll write)
-a picture of the Eiffel tower (because we're going to take our moms to Paris with all our money)
-a receipt from Olive Garden (because their food is really good)
-BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY there were a ton of pictures of James Franco on there with glittery hearts around his head and script like "James and Holly and Paige Forever"

So, alas, it looks like our vision may never fully materialize if these tragic rumors are true, so we'd like to dedicate this Humpday to ourselves.

Today, be glad you aren't Paige Tibbetts or Holly McManus, sad little girls in gingham bikinis and Louboutins walking their dogs in Paris with their mothers, in search of some decent "Italian" from Olive Garden, and their one true love, James Franco.


So we want to be like this, but on a beach in bikinis in fancy shoes and fancier dogs too.


Forever your Girl,

Paige

PS- James, if you do decide to come out we still love you and fully
support you!

PPS- HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO YALLLLLLLL.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Better Than Prom

If Paige or I lived anywhere near a mall (besides Harold Square's Manhattan "Mall") we would definitley be those ANNOYING girls trying on every dress in the store, taking pictures, and then politely piling the dresses somewhere, leaving, and re-fueling with a jumbo soft pretzel before going to the next prom dress store. Definitely.

The Manhattan Mall, though it has a soft spot in our hearts, just doesn't cut it as a prom dress destination. Thus, Paige and I are left to live vicariously through other girls wearing pretty and impractical dresses.

Here in New York City, we take impractical dresses to the next level. Today is the day after The Costume Institute's Met Gala, where young starlets, models, Oprah, and rock star's daughters dress in the most fabulous of haute couture and strut around talking to Zac Posen and Taylor Swift.

"Fabulous", however, is subjective. This morning, Paige and I had too much fun texting, bbm'ing, and emailing each other our thoughts on everyone's chosen couture. Like the prom dress-gossip that occurs the day after prom, this is our version of trashing and praising last night's Met's gowns.

Paige's Thoughts:

Its no secret that I love gold lamme and a plunging neckline, I also
love rompers. Lets face it, I love pretty much anything that a background actor in
"Scarface" would have worn, that why I'm really into Chanel Iman's
kind-of-scary, definitely-blinding jumpsuit.

Betty Draper is one of my all-time favorite gals, and I let it go when she
sucked at hosting SNL, I let it go when she divorced Don,
but I cant let this go. She looks like a crazed flamingo superhero
and it makes me very uncomfortable...


Speaking of uncomfortable... PADMA! Just, no! Girlfriend is obviously
really loving her post baby-bod, which is great and everything but
the coper color, the feathered boobs, her stylests apparent lack of a
steamer... pack your knives and go.

Carrey Mulligan, or as I'm goign to call her now Car-Mug is making me
really sad in all these pictures of her. Doesn't she look like shes a
bit more properly dressed to go on a tractor ride at a fun apple
orchard or soemthing? She could pick fresh strawberries and put them
in those hideous pockets, as at treat for later.


Margarita was my "nombre" in Spanish class in high school, its also
one of my favorite things to put in my mouth, but most of all its
Margarita Missoni, I really wish we could be friends, we could share
questionable head gear.

Sienna's navy, plungy, sluttly, lacy getup was a favorite of mine. So
was her date, who is the only blond adult man I've ever felt
attracted to.

Holly's Thoughts:


I'm not a Kate Hudson fan, but she's is one of the greatest flat-chested starlets of all time, and for that reason combined with this being a killer dress, I like this one.


Much like Paige's love for Betty, I love Joan, although am deeply intimidated by her boobies. I mean she is really asking for it, wearing this baby. Blue balls anyone? We are also pretty sure no one is looking at the bird-like decor on her shoulder...

Maybe it's just the summer angst deep inside of me, but, hell-o, slip'n'slide much?

This sparkle disco twirly gown is awesome. It's a Paige/Holly favorite. As if being married to Ferris Bueller and having a job as a pretend sex writer weren't enough, this dress makes us even more jealous of the life of SJP.

Blake famously picks out all of her own stuff, she considers it self-expression. Here, I think she is expressing that she has taken up cha-cha classes and is glad that pants season is over. Or maybe she hurt her bum playing cornhole and this will help when she needs to sit down. Also, is she singing or talking in this one?

This isn't a Halloween party pic circa 2003, but one featuring Dolce and Gabbana's flapper/lingerie/bondage looks at 2003's Met Gala.
Linda Evangelista looks pretty drunk.

Forever Your Girls,
Holly and Paige

Monday, May 3, 2010

Maturity Index: Nobody Puts Baby In a Corner

So, we cant always do EVERYTHING together... Sometimes Holly has to be a surrogate sister and sometimes I have to drink a giant margarita with my best friend from high school, that doesn't mean Holly and I don't love each other.

This weekend was HOT, that means sunburns, soccer games and frozen adult beverages. Lets see how our independent weekends shook-out.

Paige:
Friday:
-Office party festivities start when Paige and Sarah open a bottle of free Prosecco that was sent to Sarah in the mail a few weeks ago, they drink out of novelty champagne glasses, co-workers join- Age 40
-Paige and Sarah, along with the office interns take a taxi to Happy Ending before the party starts to "help set up". Meaning that they ordered drinks at the bar and watched the interns struggle to set up the sound equipment- Age 23
-When Steven arrives to the party he brings Paige a duck sandwich- No age just...
-Holly and Paige take pictures together in the mirror of the bathroom, on Holly's cell phone- Age13
-Steven and Paige leave the party and go to dinner where Paige gets sleepy and grumpy when her noodles take too long to arrive, Steven puts Paige to bed shortly after- Age 6

Saturday:
-Paige wakes up and heads to the Bleeker Street book store she loves. There, she purchases "How to Lose Friends and Alienate People", she hopes this will make up for the fact that she is also purchasing "Bergdorf Blondes" which, she explains to the store owner is for "research". Paige realizes this sounds dumb and scurries out, embarrassed- Age 23
-Paige and Emily spend the early afternoon laying out on the pier off Christopher st. They eat PEZ and complain that the posse of Speedo-clad men around them are playing too much Aaliyah and not enough Gaga- Age 14
-Paige and Emily meet up with Sarah and Emily's roommate they eat a VERY early dinner at around 4:45 pm- Age 68
-At Caliente Cab where they also had 24 oz Margs in novelty glasses- Age 18
-After watching The Hills, reading Us Magazine and discussing how Shiloh Pitt is being raised as a boy, everyone starts to primp for an evening out- Age 19
-Everyone gets dressed and ready but then distracted and watches Dirty Dancing twice in a row- Age 3 (because thats how old Paige was the last time she watched Dirty Dancing twice in a row)
-Emily, Paige and Jess teach everyone their "clip on" dance move that involves interlocking knees and some synchronized bouncing.- Age 20
-After a fair amount of pre-gaming and Swayze-worshiping everyone heads to Revel in the Meatpacking District.- Age 22
-Typical Meatpacking shenanigans.... Paige has a sleep over at Em and Jess' where they gossip and eat pizza- Age 13

Sunday:
-Paige wakes up early and walks to Ground Support in Soho, complains about "schvitzing in this DISGUSTING heat", this complaint comes 4 days after her complaining "its so cold that I just want to DIE, i can barely feel my toes"- Age 70
-Paige and Chrissy lay on the roof in bikinis and talk about boys. Eventually it gets too hot and they go downstairs and order an extremely random meal from a "Chinese" Restaurant that also curiously serves mozzarella sticks, they eat their food while watching "The Hangover"... again- Age 14
-Paige and Steven get dinner at The Mermaid Inn Oyster Bar, they order the Grand Platter which includes 18 oysters, a bowl of muscles, 12 clams, six king crab legs and shrimp cocktail. Steven accuses Paige of eating 70% of the seafood treats, this is probably the case- Age 23

This weekend I hit the ripe-old age of 24.6, which is almost EXACTLY how old I actually am! I guess the best way to achieve a mature balance is complain about the weather and watch Dirty Dancing.... Lets see if Holly was more or less mature this weekend...

Holly
Friday:
-Go to Brasserie Ruhlman after work with coworkers for champagne and wine-Age 40
-Boss asks if anyone would like French fries, everyone declines as Holly says, “oh yeah, yeeahhhhh French fries”-Age 14
-Everyone politely sips their one glass of champagne, Holly’s is refilled 3 times, which is awkward because everyone totally notices this and Holly is 5 years younger than everyone there-Age 19
-Holly loudly blames refills on closeness to wait staff station, which is absolutely untrue-Age 17
-Holly politely excuses herself to go to an all-you-can-drink-bourbon party in China town-Age 23
-Holly wobbles into Brasserie Ruhlman’s bathroom (marble sinks people) puts on a pair of cutoffs with her working girl blouse and slips out the side door so coworkers don’t see outfit switch and most of Holly’s thighs-Age 16
-Holly joins up with all the ladies at Happy Endings and excitedly orders her (free!) tumbler of Maker’s Mark-Age 19
-And makes a pout face with each sip because straight whiskey will do that to a girl-Age 16
-Holly goes to have dinner with Shawn and his Argentinean grad school friends-Age 30
-Grad school friends did not just suck down 3 glasses of champagne and tumbler of whiskey, yet Holly manages to act sort of sober around sober scientists-Age 24
-Passes out at 10pm on a Friday-Age 12 (Twelve year old’s that aren’t having a slumber party obviously)

Saturday:
-Holly and Shawn decorate Buffalo cake for Shawn’s sister that reads, “Happy Buffday”-Age 15
-Frosting for breakfast-Age 13
-Gets out pineapple chunk-flavored ice pop and lime-flavored ice pop, starts on the pineapple and gives lime to Shawn, but makes him switch because lime is totally better-Age 9
-Shawn leaves and so Holly decides it’s okay to have post-ice pop dessert of Tastee Delight-Age 9
-Tastee Delight on Bedford Ave. is closed on door and Holly does the violent door pulling even thought Tastee Delight it clearly CLOSED-Age 9
-Holly goes into to the city to do Mother’s Day shopping but instead buys herself some things including $5 worth of bodega frozen yogurt-Age 16
-Holly goes home to make salsa to bring to Shawn’s sister’s bday bbq-Age 28
-Holly shows up at bbq and immediately starts recruiting people to finish the handle of deli tequila she got for free-Age 24
-Holly opens up herself a bottle of wine and get’s for real jealous when Shawn’s sis starts talking about her prom dress and still “having” to find glitzy prom shoes-Age 25
-Holly forgoes Revel to instead talk about all the things one can do when they’re 18 (lotto cards, Playboy, Playgirl, oh, and the right to vote)with Shawns birthday sister-Age 18

Sunday:

-Holly goes to Shawn’s soccer game forcing Shawn and his team members to put on sunscreen-Age 52
-Holly doesn’t put any on and get’s fried-Age 12
-Holly goes home and has tub of Acai Sorbet and half a bag of veggie chips while watching The Hangover with Paige and Chrissy-Age 15
-Holly goes to Dumbo bbq get schmoozed by Kristy’s new main man-Age 24
-After 2/3 bottle Chilean wine and 2 mojitos Holly:
-brings up Kristy’s relationship status with Kristy’s new man (will he meeting Kristy’s parents when they come in 2 weeks?)-Age 52
-complains about the dog, Betsy, not being able to bark, and is therefore a useless dog-Age 12
-does NOT fall down the stairs while wearing large wooden shoes-Age 24
-strokes Kristy’s beautiful hair and comments out loud on it’s shine and texture-Age 15
-finally, a car is called for Holly and is asleep by, on a SUNDAY, 12:30am-Age 20

This weekend I was 20.23, which is understandable considering ice-pop swaps and loudly banging on a Tastee D-Lite door, hey, it was hot out remember?

So I was a bit older than Holly this weekend, thats okay! There are no winners or losers in the Maturity Index! Next weekend Holly heads back to the midwest to celebrate her sisters graduation from nursing school, while I hang back to finish all the Georgi in the freezer and borrow her clothes without telling her!

Forever your girl,
Paige