Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Many young ladies our age take pride in their appearance, their Fendi handbag collection, or their automobiles (yes this word is ancient sounding but to us, so is the idea of owning one). Paige and myself, however, take pride in our cheap rent, our collection of Havianas flip flops, and the fact that we are currently surviving our second summer in NYC sans air conditioning.
We like bringing up this fun fact like someone would bring up making some sort of Olympic team, in a cheerful, boastful, I-can-do-something-you-cant-even-imagine-doing-in-your-wildest-dreams kind of way. Pridefulness in our extreme frugality aside, this non-air-conditioned apartment does bring up some complications. For one, it's freakin hot. Getting ready for work or a date or a night out goes beyond mindlessly showering and skipping around with a mascara wand to let your hair air-dry a little. Careful planning and limited movement is crucial, why put on eyeliner first when it is just going to drip off when you go across the room to get a hairbrush? Why put clothes on before blow-drying your hair as clothes will resemble something closer to old-fashioned swimwear by the time your hair is dry? Paige has started taken cold showers before she goes to bed at night and has been caught on several occasions trying to sleep on the bathroom floor. I have red and blue stains on my bed sheets from eating Paige's Bomb Pops in bed to cool down. What we used to spend on mustard chicken and vegetables is now spent on freezing individual servings of Jell-O-pudding and Yoohoo. Our freezer, which used to be used solely for vodka and chilling champagne (the $5 kind, we recommend Andre), now also houses leftover french fries, anything we own that happens to be dairy, and our Mr. Coffee pot.
That being said, as we go pantless watching Twilight on the couch, taking turns slinging popsicles at each other and popsicle sticks towards the direction of Edward Cullen we still have a sense of "your pain is my pain" and there is a closeness that no other roommates living in an air conditioned apartment can understand. And sure enough, someone's mother will call and ask what we are doing and we will explain the popsicles and how one of us is lying in front of the refrigerator with the door open, and we all smile with pride as she says to her mother that "no, it's not that bad".

Freezer #1
2 Diet Sodas- $1.50 per
3 Packs of frozen veggies (for Kristy to douse with spray butter)- $2.90 per
2 6 piece pudding packs- $3.95
1 Box of Flav-o-Ice- $2.90
1 Order of fries from Purity Restaurant- $2.50
1 Pot of French Toast flavored coffee- apx $0.50
1 Handle of Ruskova Vodka (the finest)- $17.00
Contents of Magic Bullet... unknown.
Total: $38.55 or $9.64 Per Roommate

Note: We had a picture that didn't upload of our "fauxconditioner", but it was just a small fan in a large window. Nothing special.

Freezer #2
1 Box Bom Pops- $3.40
Skinny Cow Ice Cream Sandwiches- $6.30
2 Boxes Frozen Veggies- $2.90 per
Handle Ruskova Vodka- $17.00
Yoo-Hoo- Priceless.... seriously you have to try frozen Yoo-Hoo
Total: $32.50 or $8.13 per roommate.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Open Bar-Not as Bad of an Idea as My Mom Told me...

We are by no means strangers to the kindly received phrase "open bar". We did it on Halloween dressed as ballerinas, making friends with bumblebee trannies on the F train. We did open bar at a college alumni "function" (open bar and the real use of the word 'function' probably cannot be used in the same sentence) where I stole beer from an elderly man, who no doubt saw and was undoubtebly an important alum. We did an open bar sponsored by Paige's job where, after her dress got stuck on the zipper of the backpack of a short man she had perviously mocked, he then persuaded us to join him for some after-hours rum and cokes at a comedy show that featured me sweet-talking this short backpacked man, who also happened to have a career as an internet comedian.
However last Thursday was different. After Paige enlisted some special treatment from a certain doctor I once dated, we were obligated to pay a whopping $40 to attend an open bar sock hop event where the good doctors band was the evenings entertainment. The proceeds went to the Children of Chernobyl Charity. Now we don't usually spend even $40 on food for a week, however we both put on our best 50's garb (Paige in 50's prom me in 50's ummm...swimwear?) and kicked off with some totally unnecessary pregaming for an open bar for the Children of Chernobyl charity.
I would like to say we totally took advantage of this open bar (aka charity), however we were already feeling pretty charitable (drunk?) by the time we got there so we only had about 4-7 drinks a piece throughout the night. Paige met some guy that introduced himself as Jewish Don Draper (its like he read her mind), and I guess I met some guy because I got a Facebook friend request the next day with a message saying he enjoyed meeting me at the charity (all you can drink) even the night before (Jacob Katsof? Who are you?). We abused the free photo booth taking obnoxious/wannabe sultry pics that when printed out read, "Children of Cherbbyl Org" at the bottom of each and every sassy pic.
We could have gone to TenJune at the end of the night and buy some drinks that didn't go to charity, but it wouldn't have felt the same drinking if the vodka tonic/whiskey sours weren't in some way helping children in need.
This, friends, proves that charity on a budget is worth more than your weekly allowance of grocery money or on a new pair of shoes.
P.S. we in no way intend to offend anyone in any way regarding our drinking for charity. Children of Chernobyl is a totally great and important organization that helps many many kids in need. Thanks to the 92Y etc for hosting this celebration of charity, motown, and gin. Check the link below to see how you can get involved.
Dirtily Yours,

Jewish Don Draper

Pregaming for all-you-can-drink...

Drinking Sparx for Charity

Paige thought these girls' job looked fun...she really was just jealous of their sequins.

Jewish Don Draper!

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Oh we just wanted to tell you really quick....

.... We bought hats from the mens section at H&M for $7.95. They fit perfectly on both of our giant man heads. We just wanted to point out how cool and on-trend we are with our fedoras, like two years too late. 

Oh, also we are watching the premier of "Down to You", starring Freddie Prinz Jr. and Julia Styles, on The Lifetime network in matching negliges from Forever 21. Well, actually they were matching until Paige ripped the strap on hers and Holly had to cut the other strap with a knife while she was cutting onions for dinner. Now Paige's is a halter so they aren't exactly matching. 

Don't be too jealous of our glam lives, you too, could have this $7.95 hat.