Wednesday, May 12, 2010


At least you aren’t a girl between the ages of 4 and 13.

Today, confirms that Justin Bieber went on a date with a girl last night. And not just any girl, forget feeling happy for some no-name leggy 8 year-old. Music/movie/$$$ making Miley Cyrus was the lucky young lady escorted to sushi by Justin Bieber and his hair-do.

Oh Miley. Although being the spawn of the creator of “Achy Breaky Heart” isn’t something to be jealous of, Miley’s got it made pole dancing on Nickelodeon award shows to sell her albums.

Does she really get to be bff’s with Ryan Seacrest AND eat raw fish with Justin Bieber? This doesn't seem fair. And, why do we, as 24 year-old women, decide this is even worth caring about? Probably because we remember all too well just what it felt like to be a jealous tween.

For the ladies of the 90's generation, let's remember what it feels like:

-This would have been like all three Hanson brothers playing POG with Christina Ricci.
-Or Jonathan Taylor Thomas taking Jodie Swetin for Ben & Jerry’s.

J.T.T. with flowers and a vest, consider them a gift!

-Or Devon Sawa caught playing tonsil hockey with Kirsten Dunst while “Dreamlover” plays in the background.

Devon Sawa without pants, consider it a gift.

-Or Joshua Jackson dating the deviant girl who plays hockey in figure skates in The Mighty Ducks.

Joshua Jackson, 9 years old and all sweaty, consider it a gift.

-Or the lead singer from Ace of Base going to a rave with Macauley Caulkin.

It’s all just not fair.

This is for you, young ladies who carelessly eat Haagen Daz on a Friday night in Limited Too silk P.J.’s watching Twilight and listening to Jordan Sparks. Although we envy your metabolism and your maid (your mother), we totally get the jealous rage you feel against Miley. This humpday goes out to you, your girlfriends, and your in-the-closet boyfriends. And Justin Bieber, if you’re reading this, you can do better, say, triple dating 2 twenty-four year old’s that wear matching outfits and ALSO like sushi?

You know where to find us.

Forever your girl,


1 comment:

  1. Hahahaha this one really made me laugh...totally had the Limited Two purple with hearts silk pjs...oh JTT where are you these days.