Inexplicable Obsessions:

The History of the Crop Top

Starring Rose McGowen in "The Devil of the Flesh", of course.

Note: we understand this is in Portuguese but that just makes it cooler and you get the point

Last weekend Paige and I got a spring teaser, with sunny low 50's weather that allowed us to eat bucket-sized proportions of FroYo while sitting outside. We waltzed around the West Village without hats or gloves or winter coats or breath you could see. All this nice-ish weather makes us long equally for bike rides to Brighton beach, eating frozen everything, and the the nice dreams we have when a large fan is involved.

However there is one warm weather thing that takes the cake: Crop Tops.

We have been buying crop tops since December, sometimes wearing them under our matching J.Crew cardigans or just wearing them around the house to stop us from going for a second helping of Chrissy's famous triple cheese risotto. Soon, we will be wearing our crop tops, complete with pasty midriff's, out and about in public, and we cannot wait.

We feel the root of our obsession is totally obvious if you have seen "The Devil in the Flesh", but that is just us so we feel we need to go further to explain this inexplicable obession. To help our mothers, priests, and local strangers understand more about crop tops, we will so gladly give you the history.

crop tops for work

The crop top was originated off the football jersey, so for men. These men, of course, started wearing them as part of their regular outfits (like how cheerleaders in movies wear their uniforms around school but if that ever happened in a real high school people would think it was Halloween). So the 1990's come and women decide they can wear crop tops too. And then, like pants, crop tops became the norm even as evening wear. The rest is just history. See below.

90's Crop Tops at a red carpet event...

This history lesson is courtesy of Wikipedia, which also gives a crop top tip, and I quote, "An already short cropped top can be bunched upward to expose more mid-section and then tucked below the bust line". Wohoa! We will have to try that one after getting the stomach flu.

Drew likes to wear her crop to show her cool tattoo that is probably of a fairy or similar

metallic crop tops...I definitely had this single, and although the crops are great, all I see are lips

Crops are for kids

This Inexplicable Obsession is basically to show you how cool crops are and to urge you to get a few so our midriffs won't feel so alone this summer. *BONUS* crop means less material which means it's usually cheaper than your average noncropped top. So you can spend more on practical things like this.

This Inexplicable Obsession is also to urge you to go out an watch "Devil in the Flesh" so we can have something else to chat about with our family and friends and strangers we may meet who have read this post.

Forever Your Girl,

Holly

The Maturity Index:

Oscar Night Massacre that turned out okay

This week we danced, played with puppies, ate fro-yo and dealt with the Kubler-Ross Model for the stages of grief while wearing prom dresses. It was an emotional roller coaster, lets see if we handled it with maturity.

Friday:
-At work, Paige is gifted a bottle of Three Olives Orange Flavored Vodka, from The L Magazine's generous editor, Jonny Diamond- Age 24

-After work we all get ready for a night in Manhattan, we are extremely excited, like tourists (because Friday's too often are spent resting for Saturday festivities)- Age 18

-We take the train because a $15 cab sounds outrageously expensive- Age 22

-On the train we sit across from an obviously crack-fried man sprawled across three seats, we giggle nervously as he sporadically wakes up and shouts obscene comments at no one, soon a woman with a snare drum misguidedly sits across from him, banging the drum and waking him up, they fight, we get scared- Age 14 -

-We finally arrive to pre-game at our friends apartment, that is decorated almost solely with pictures of Robert Patinson- Age 12

-The four of us finish the gifted vodka- Age 19

-We go dance in the creepy caves in the basement of Lit Lounge until 3:45am- Age 21

-We drunk dial our poor, sleeping boyfriends- Age 18

Saturday:
-We had commitments to other people and therefore the only interesting things that happened were Paige discovering our roommate owns a pair of white, bedazzled, mary-jane style Sketchers, and Holly having to convince Brooklyn Bowl security she was with friends friends after she is discovered sleeping on a chair, alone- No age, just that's as cool as Saturday got.

Sunday:
-While waiting to meet up with Kristy in the West Village, we eat bagels and encourage spontaneous dog fights-Age 9

-We go to the puppy store, convince the manager that we are serious about buying a Pomeranian/Maltise (Pomertise? Maltimanian?) so he lets us play with her for about an hour.

Meet Ghost, the lovechild of the dog from The Neverending Story and a cotton ball

-We name her Ghost and let her lick our mouths- Age 10

-We learn the price of the dog is $1,100 after discount and they'll throw in a Vet visit and we all start discussing how we could "make it work"- Age 12

-Paige reminds everyone that we are not going home with a $1,100 no matter how cute the dog is or how hot the British puppy store manager is- Age 24

-We go get fro-yo at Philio Yogurt where we mix all the flavors and put on an amount of topings that would induce a diabetic coma. Holly eats hers then finishes Paige's- Age 13

Half fruity, half chocolatesprinkleredvelvetcupcakebatterpeanutbuttercupbrownie

-We go to French Connection where we admire the $400 dresses, but Holly just buys a sparkle-swan necklace thats on sale for $5-Age 12

We sit at Paige's boyfriends cafe and contemplate what we'll purchase with our upcoming Tax Returns- Age 40

-While passing the store "Evolution" on Spring St. Paige notices a narwhal tusk in the window, decides this is what she'll buy with her tax return- Age 17 (and bizzare)

-Holly is on a desperate mission to buy a white, pleather, mini- backpack she saw online at Topshop- Age 12

Need. Neeeeeeeed

-At TopShop we look on with jealousy as our rich, nanny roommate buys shoes that cost (way) more than our normal $30 shoe budget- Age 15

-Holly can't find mini backpack and spends the rest of the afternoon pouting and is especially depressed as Paige cannot stop making fun of mini backpack obession- Age 6

-We decide to head back to Brooklyn and buy supplies for our "Oscar Party"- Age 45

- At Met we buy culturally-ambitious supplies:

-Holly buys gear to make thai-peanut noodles- Age 43

-Paige buys supplies to make pesto and parmesan crostini's- Age 32

-Kristy buys ingredients for Coco-Crispy Treats- Age 10

I'm sure that's what my parents had in mind when they bought me that laptop

-Holly also buys Cadbury egg candies, she feeds them to Paige and Kristy, noting "I feel like I'm a Momma bird and you are my baby birds and I'm feeding you.... eggs...." we all get a little upset thinking about this - Age 10

-At home we resort to watching the incredibly unattractive cast of The Real World: DC, because nothing else is on- Age 19

-We puttz around the kitchen, making food and wagering on who will win what Oscars- Age 45

- It's almost time! We prepare ourselves to "authentically" enjoy the Oscars by each putting on "ball gowns", Paige wears an old prom dress and Holly wears "H&M Couture" with Uggs and clip on earrings that are the ones the winner of Pretty Pretty Princess gets- Age 8

-We watch the E! red carpet interviews, we make fun of spray tans (Matt Damon), give our enlightened opinions on who's dress is great (Sarah Jessica Parker) and who's dress makes their boobs look crazy (Charlize Theron) and who needs to work on their posture (Miley irus)- Age 24

-At the strike of 8 o'clock... the moment we've been waiting 12 months for! We flip to ABC only to find that ABC has been pulled off the air by CableVision. We can't believe it. We enter the 5 stages of grief:

-Denial, "This cant possibly be happening, we are in PROM DRESSES!"

Anger, "Why are they doing this to us?! What did we ever do to ABC?! I'm going to kill someone".

Bargaining, "If we to go the soccer bar up the street dressed like this, maybe we can convince them to let us watch the Oscars there".

Depression, "I just want to take the rest of these thai noodles and eat them in bed listening to Elliott Smith".

And, acceptance "I mean, we can just watch the highlights on the news tomorrow" and istead turn on a show titled, "Priests"- Age 50

-After we come to grips with what has happened we sit, gowned, in a girlpile and stuff our faces with what should have been our Oscar Party food for a full hour- Age 23

-Only to then recieve a text that ABC and CableVision have struck a last minute deal and we once again get ABC, cry a little bit, what an emotional roller coaster, girlpile and oscar "gowns" are adjusted, everyone gets serious about Oscar watching and is thankful about keeping updo's despite Oscar trauma- Age 30

-Enjoy the witty repartee between hosts Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin, cry a little at the John Huges tribute, and get really pumped that "The Hurt Locker" kicked "Avatar"s ass. Remark that everything seems to work out in the end, hug each other and go to bed- Age 24

In the end we were 21.3 years old this past weekend. Life can get pretty hard at times, but really all you can do is sit with your friends, eat some cocoa krispies in a prom dress and hope for the best. Next weekend: a visitor from Paige's past and a good-bye fette.

Oscar Day Itinerary

It's no secret that Paige and myself love love award shows. What's not to love? They are a great excuse to eat a bunch of junk food while drinking cocktails for hardly any reason at all. They make it seem like watching hours of non-CNN television seem like an event, like we are DOING something. Lets also not forget that after a hungover brunch that hopefully consists of French fries we aren't always very sure of what to do with ourselves. Having an "event" to "attend" gives our Sunday a purpose.
If you haven't heard, this Sunday is the award show of award shows: The Oscars. Our award show party needs to be that of Oscar-caliber and must be well-thought out and planned, just like, oh say, Sandra Bullock needs to plan out her Oscar day.
Here is our Oscar Day itinerary:

6:30am Kristy wakes up everyone in the house via crawling into bed and cuddling
6:42am Kristy realizes this really isn't appreciated yet and goes to her own room
6:45am Kristy is able to fall back asleep
7:25am Holly/Paige are finally able to fall back asleep
8:45am Everyone girlpiles on the couch to recap Saturday night, arguments about coffee brand and strength ensue
9:00am fingers crossed for Degrassi
11:00am Everyone heads to get brunchy food that needs to include French fries for Holly
11:12am Discussion on what sort of Oscar party food we will devour...Avatartes? The Blind Sliders? A Single Flan? James Camerones?

Oscar Ava'tartare'

11:30am Paige eats her fries with mustard
12:00am We decide to go to Bleeker St to take our mind off of the coming night's excitement
12:30 Go to Marc by Marc Jacobs an elbow tourists while looking at handbags we won't be able to afford unless we win an Oscar one day
1:00pm We start second guessing some of our Oscar picks so get a pick-me-up, pay-what-it-weighs-FroYo

1:30pm We all start freaking out we might miss one second of one of Ryan Seacrests awkward red carpet interviews and decide we need to shop for our Oscar Apps
2:15pm Walk around the fabulous Met Supermarket in Clinton Hill shopping for peanut butter, marshmallows, Dumps, candy corn, ingredients for meatballs, etc.

The ever-so-quaint Met Foods in Clinton Hill

2:40pm We all start freaking out we might miss one of Miss Jay's red carpet makeovers to make some poor girl look like Kristen Stewart and hurry our asses home

3:00pm We put on Madonna's "Vogue" and start getting red carpet-ready
3:02pm Dancing in our own respective "gowns" ensues
3:10pm Kristy gives us red carpet Updo's that rival those that will be madeover by Jay Manuel

A silver fox but different.

4:00pm We look at the Oscar Countdown and watch Chris Harrison's "Road to Oscars" video on Oscar.com
4:30pm We look at movie trailers on Paige's computer and usually a couple fights start about this for various reasons
5:30pm Girlfights are resolved and everyone starts making The Oscar Feast
6:00pm We all sit on the couch or the floor with our Oscar feast on our closed laptops and pig out while complaining that Guliana Rancic is too too skinny

We wouldn't call this a "natural" glow...

8:00pm Turn of E! and Guliana and Jay Manuel and Ryan Seacrest and turn on The Oscars (squeal!)
8:10pm We wait until Steve Martin and Alex Baldwin are done speaking to talk about our individual love and attraction for these silver foxes

There is no age for love

9:00pm Assemble The Second Oscar Feast
9:30pm Kristy falls asleep on someones shoulder but still wakes up to smile and nod her opinions about big Oscar Wins

At whatever time the Oscars are done we get into Paige's toaster and fall asleep. Meryl Streep narrates our dreams of gold men and men with silver hair like Jay Manuel and people with orange skin like Guliana.


Forever Your Girl,

Holly

Humpday

Humpday, with an Oscar theme

To get you through the rest of the week we have so kindly and excitedly decided to give your our Oscar picks. Over the past year, we have had the pleasure of paying for one child's movie ticket and seeing 2-3 movies all on that ticket, all the while sneaking in candy and soda and bags of clementines and traditional Vietnamese sandwiches. So one would think we would sort of be experts on who should win what at the Oscars. In reality, the 2 of us combined, have seen about 4 of the movies up for anything, Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince (which is up for cinematography) included. You all know we like to pretend to act to squirm our way into being experts on anything, so why should the Oscars be any different?

I have so graciously included which actor/actress is up for what, but not the movies as Paige lists every single one as part of her decision making process. And the nominees are:

Performance by an actor in a leading role
Jeff Bridges in "Crazy Heart" (Fox Searchlight)
George Clooney in "Up in the Air" (Paramount in association with Cold Spring Pictures and DW Studios)
Colin Firth in "A Single Man" (The Weinstein Company)
Morgan Freeman in "Invictus" (Warner Bros.)
Jeremy Renner in "The Hurt Locker" (Summit Entertainment)
Performance by an actor in a supporting role
Matt Damon in "Invictus" (Warner Bros.)
Woody Harrelson in "The Messenger" (Oscilloscope Laboratories)
Christopher Plummer in "The Last Station" (Sony Pictures Classics)
Stanley Tucci in "The Lovely Bones" (DreamWorks in association with Film4, Distributed by Paramount)
Christoph Waltz in "Inglourious Basterds" (The Weinstein Company)
Performance by an actress in a leading role
Sandra Bullock in "The Blind Side" (Warner Bros.)
Helen Mirren in "The Last Station" (Sony Pictures Classics)
Carey Mulligan in "An Education" (Sony Pictures Classics)
Gabourey Sidibe in "Precious: Based on the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire" (Lionsgate)
Meryl Streep in "Julie & Julia" (Sony Pictures Releasing)
Performance by an actress in a supporting role
Penélope Cruz in "Nine" (The Weinstein Company)
Vera Farmiga in "Up in the Air" (Paramount in association with Cold Spring Pictures and DW Studios)
Maggie Gyllenhaal in "Crazy Heart" (Fox Searchlight)
Anna Kendrick in "Up in the Air" (Paramount in association with Cold Spring Pictures and DW Studios)
Mo'Nique in "Precious: Based on the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire" (Lionsgate)

Holly's picks:

Best Picture:

I would like to pick Avatar, because something in there tells me that's what I need to pick to win this thing. But something in my heart, the same thing that told me not to ever see Avatar, is telling me that it's not in the bag in for James Cameron. My boyfriend didn't like The Hurt Locker so I'm not picking it for him. I saw Inglorious Bastards and really liked it but really didn't like Diane Krugers acting job. She tried too hard, you could tell she was physically hungry for some red meat or something the whole time. So, although I haven't seen it yet, I pick Up in the Air, for various reasons, mostly because George Clooney seems immortal.

Best Actress:

Gabourey Sibide. I feel her winning this would bring back "You Go Girl!" and therefore make me cool again.
Best Supporting Actress :

I pick Penelope Cruz, not because I have seen Nine...yet. I pick her because, let's face it, she really deserves the most screen time because she is dead sexy. Also I have already heard one of Monique's speeches and do not want to hear another. Ever. I would rather hear a lifetime smoker sing "Row Row Row Your Boat" nine times than hear the exasperation that is Monique. Moving on...

Best Actor:

I pick Colin Firth because I love Bridget Jones. Not the movie so much but the book. All of the books to be specific, even "Bridget Jone's Guide to Life" because that book taught me to play "Marry, Shag, or Push off a Cliff" when I was in the bloody 7th grade and hadn't even started snogging yet.

Best Supporting Actor :

I pick Christopher Waltz from Inglorious Bastards because I actually saw that one. And he does a really REALLY good job eating what I think was an apple tart or something. He was eating the tart with anger even though the tart was I'm sure delicious.

Paige's Picks:

Best Picture:

I really hope it's not Avatar, I didn't see Avatar because I'm never really interested in things that can't actually happen. But mainly, I don't want it to win because when James Cameron won best picture for Titantic he screamed "I'm king of the world", and seriously, if he pulls shit like that again he will single handedly ruin my Oscars. I didn't see "Up", because cartoons hurt my eyes. I didn't see "Nine" because Kate Hudson sings in it and I can pretty much die happy if I never have to hear something like that. I didn't see "An Education" because I heard that Peter Saarsgard plays a child molester and I think he's so hot, it would really upset me. I fell asleep in District 9, I don't have the stomach for Precious, Inglorious Bastards was awesome but I don't think it has the chops to win, The Blind Side was too cheesy, A Serious Man didn't get enough hype and I didn't see Up In The Air (because I saw Dear John instead.. bad move). My vote is for The Hurt Locker, because it was really awesome (Holly's boyfriend is WAY wrong) and I would LOVE to see a woman director win this, and if that woman is James Camerons hot ex-wife, all the better.

This could never happen. Blue creatures could never have teeth this straigt.

Best Actress:

I'd like Gabourey Sibide to win because I think shes a total doll, even if it meant I had to hear holly say "You go Girl" on a regular basis. But i just don't think she will. My guess is Meryl Streep, not because I saw "Julie and Julia" (like I was going to spend two hours staring at Amy Adams hair in that movie... please!) but because I love her and her Julia Childs accent.

Best Supporting Actress:

I'm with Holly on not wanting Mo, shes won so much so far and I'm just sick of her, plus I saw a picture of her unshaven legs and totally dry heaved and couldn't finish my Udon Noodle lunch, jerk, Shave your legs!!! My vote goes to Maggie Gyllenhaal because she is a fellow Brooklynite and I think if she wins maybe her brother, Jake will come over to her house in Park Slope and celebrate and maybe he'll want to check out some local bars... and Mayyybe I'll run into him at Union Hall playing boccie and day drinking... and MAYBE we'll live happily ever after, finally!

this is Maggie strolling through Brooklyn, OBVIOUSLY

Best Actor:

I didn't see Crazy Heart, but everyone said Jeff Bridges played the "roll of a lifetime", which means it must have been awesome because I've SEEN The Big Lebowski. But Mickey Rourke didn't win his "roll of a lifetime" last year so Bridges isn't getting my vote on this one. I'm gonna go for the dark horse, Jeremy Renner from The Hurt Locker because he was incredible and even made that bomb-diffusing outfit look sexy.

Best Supporting Actor:

I'd really like to hear what Woody Harrelson would say in an acceptance speech, but I really wish he was nom'ed for Zombie Land because that movie was great. But I'm going to agree with Holly on this one and go with Chris Waltz (I just call him Chris) because when he gave his acceptance speech at the Globes he was so totally adorable and not Nazi-ish at all.

This is our favorite Oscar, OBVIOUSLY

Maturity Index:

SnoWeekend

Our ol buddy, Chaz.

This weekend we finally got our asses off the couch, turned off Lifetime and put down our candy (albiet momentarily) and embraced father winter. Yet ANOTHER snowfall blanketed Brooklyn Thursday and Friday night so we finally took the opportunity to invent sledding devices and venture into the great outdoors (Fort Greene Park). We also drank tons of wine and snuck into movies, lets turn to our uber-scientific Maturity Index and see how we fared.

Friday:
-We go to our jobs and find out that we both get snow-related half days, competitive texting ensues as to who likes their job better- Age 20

-Holly gets bibimbop in Korea town to celebrate her half holiday- Age 25

yum!

-Paige buys a new camera to document the sledding adventure- Age 35

-We buy the following SnoWeekend "supplies"
-ingredients for homemade hummus- Age 40
-one large bottle of $12 "Tall Poppy" merlot- Age 22
-one large bottle of Goldschlager- Age 19
-one large bottle of Sambuca- Age 55
-"Asian Fare" aka Dumplings aka "DUMPS", edamame (organic, because thats how we roll)- Age 24
-Sparkling Shiraz- Age 30

-Return to Brooklyn to "pop bottles", make hummus and dumps- Age 24

-Drink 6 bottles of wine with our roommates- Age 20

-Paige is overserved and crawls into the kitchen where she tried to "take a quick catnap" on the ground while Holly takes pictures of her- Age 18

-Everyone girlpiles , holds hands, and rubs eachother's knees while we all thank eachother for our great friendship, we are emotional-drunk- Age 16

Saturday:
-Kristy wakes up the house at 6:30 in the morning and was scolded and sent back to her room- Age 6

-We all take shots of Goldschlager... with our eggs and bacon... at 9am- Age 19

-After drinking 2 bottles of Andre, mixed with healthy orange juice, we decide to do shots of Sambuca, but only after we cleanse our shot glasses with champagne, that Holly spills on purpose because non-accidental champagne spillage "is luxurious"- Age 23

-We blast Ke$ha on our 90s-era speakers (which were a gift from the boys upstairs) while we all try to figure out what clothing we have that is "sledding appropriate"- Age 15

-Holly wears: tights under jeans, four pairs of socks (all unmatched) a t-shirt and a flannel under her red puffy jacket she got in the little boys section of target. Paige wears: leggings, one thigh-high sock one one leg, and one normal sock on the other (because she couldn't find the pairs), pleather leggings (for waterproofing), jeans and a raincoat.- Age 12

-Sarah, our beloved buddy and only guest (though we invited almost everyone we know) arrives, gives us another excuse to drink celebratory Sambuca- Age 20

-We gather our sleds: laundry basket, cookie sheet, and 3 large Tupperware containers and start the 12 block trek- Age 11

-But first we stop at the hardware store to purchase duct tape for the holes in Paige's rain boots- Age 13

-We arrive at the park, our sleds do not work. Not one. But we refuse to give up- Age 14

-We borrow an inflatable turtle from Australians- Age 1

-We play with their dog, "Nancy", we all kiss Nancy's mouth- Age 8

-After trying to sled for a solid 10 minutes we decide to give up, all sit in a tribal-circle in the snow. Stories about circus jobs are told, we pass the Sambuca cleverly disguised as Pelligrino- Age 24

-And make a snowman- Age 8

-We make dirty jokes about the snowman because we know he won't care- Age 12

-We carry our "sleds" home, talking about how excited we are to sit on the couch. Everyone gets even more excited that our guest, Sarah hasn't seen all of the televised pregnancies we have. "We have SO MUCH to catch you up on!"- Age 22

-We order Thai, partly so we can see our Thai delivery man that is like a Father to us- Age 16
-We get ready to go out. Changing clothes, drying hair and applying brozer, all while watching Forest Gump and talking about how great that soundtrack is- Age 24

-We head out to different parties and gather back at home at 3am to finish our Thai take-out and share tales of our eventings- Age 24

-We make a rule that no one is to wake up anyone until at 8:30am- Age 40

Sunday

-Miraculously, no one wakes up anyone earlier than 8:30am- Age 25

-Girlpile and Sarah teaches us how to use "SlyDial" (a service that lets you call someone's voicemail directly, without their phone ringing, GENIUS). "SlyDial" is used t figure out the name of a gentlemen that one of our roommates made out with, but who's name she cannot remember- Age 19

-No can agree on the last name of young man, we "SlyDial" 6 times- Age 15

-All roommates start the Journey to the Court Street Theater where a much needed Movie Marathon will take place- Age 24

-Stop at yuppie grocery store where we immediately locate a sample platter of chips and guacamole, which we finish- Age 16

-Movie "Snacks" include: a bag of clementines, a bag of soy chips, a bag of apple chips, and apple/raspberry juice- Age 56 (we gave ourself extra points for this because normally we'd buy a milk carton of Whoppers and 30 yards of Twizzlers)

-We all purchase children's tickets to the rated R Shutter Island- Age 12

-Holly swoons loudly and frequently when the O.C.'s Ryan Attwood appears on a saucy preview- Age 15

-Shutter Island is awesome and we all have an out-of-character hyper-intellectual debate about psychology afterwards- Age 40




-We refill the refillable popcorn and "sneak" into Nicholas Spark's "Dear John"- Age 16

-We squeal when scenes scenes filmed on our college campus appear, "Oh my god I totally made out on that bench!!!"- Age 14

-"Dear John" was not awesome, and the only thing we debated afterwards was how uncomfortable the sex scene made us- Age 40

-We all come home and girlpile, eat weird dinners and stare nauseously at the mostly-gone Sambuca and Godschlager bottles- Age 24

-Bedtime, but sleeping is hard because were still a little freaked out by the bald woman who does the "shhh"-face at Leo in Shutter Island, c'mon you saw the previews, that shit was scary- Age 10

Last weekend our average age was 20.9. Meh. We thought buying dehydrated apples and seeing a not liking a poorl filmed sex scene would give us some solid years. However our Father Winter activities have nothing on Father Time, and can only hope we up the anty next weekend when our tallest roommate is out of town so we are screwed if the fire alarm breaks again and also our biggest-ever Oscar Party!

Forever Your Girls,

Paige and Holly

Hi Everyone!

As we sit at our offices, halfheartedly answering emails in our casual Friday attire, we can't take our minds off the snow that has recently blanketed our fair city.

The children of New York City, with school being canceled, are outside today, sledding, chucking snowballs at each other, avoiding yellow snow at all costs. Their only care in the world is the notorious chin-that-gets-zippered-into-their-coat ordeal. Although we are jealous of the youth of New York City, with their snow day filled with hot cocoa and matching Granimals snowsuits, we can't help but think that if it were our snowday, it would be only slightly different.

Most normal adults in New York City don't have room to keep last month's W magazine around in their apartments, much less a toboggan. So in lieu of "proper" sledding gear, we would repurpose cookie sheets, garbage bags, and empty our under-the-bed containers of sweaters, and use the large plastic containers as our "sled".

Most functioning, normal adults also don't have matching snowsuits, we don't even own matching "business" suits now that we think about it. We would pile on all of our under-the-bed sweaters, leggings, jeggins, High School Lacrosse team sweatpants, and our much neglected Uggs.

As we do not always behave as functioning, normal adults, we would also bring along some booze. Probably a large Nalgene bottle filled with Goldschlager and Dr. Pepper. Or possibly a half Coke half whiskey combo would be fun. A flask of Georgi anyone? The combinations, like our snow outfitting ideas, are endless.

Yes, we are at work today, but, like we mentioned earlier, we can't help but think of the snow. So tomorrow, we invite you to join us in our Adult Snowday. Put on your under-the-bed sweaters, fill your flasks, and find or steal anything that could be used as a "sled". We hope to meet you all at Fort Greene Park, for drunken sledding.

If not, have fun sitting inside, thinking about what could have been made of such a snowy day.


Forever Your Girls,
Holly and Paige

Where: Fort Greene Park

By Public Transportation: Subways: C to Lafayette, G to Fulton, R,Q, B to DeKalb Avenue, 2, 3,4, 5, D, N to Atlantic Avenue. Buses: B38, B52, B25, B26
When: 1:00pmish, tomorrow, Saturday, February 27th

If you would like to hang out at our place first that's fine, come over as early as your want and prepare to be subjected to Kes$ha, Sophie. B Hawkins greatest hit, and other catchy tunes

Why: Because we can

When: 1ish

Who: Everyone and your mother

Forever Your Girls,

Holly and Paige

http://fortgreenepark.org/pages/directions.htm

Maturity Index:

We often think that we bring out the immaturity in each-other, we egg each-other on to eat more candy, wear more glitter and say embarrassing things to strangers. So, it would be understandable for us to assume that spending the weekend apart, Paige in Delaware with her parents and Holly at home in Brooklyn, we'd behave with a bit more maturity than usual, lets see if that theory holds.

Friday

Holly
-Wanders around Whole Foods after work to buy ingredients with which her boyfriend can make her dinner- Age 42

-While wandering, eats Bunny Cracker Snack Mix (delicious)- Age

-Awkwardly asks strangers about buying steak; "What is top round?" "Could bottom round sound any grosser?" "Is the 'rump' what I think it is?"-Age 16

-In Brooklyn, Holly shows off her purchases: raw shrimp, 2 large yams, goat cheese, an orange, German mustard, $2.76 worth of the antipasti bar, and the rest of the Bunny Mix- Age 18

-I mean...Yams?-Age 63

-Drinks majority of wine and picks fight about home entertainment system- Age 24

Paige
-While waiting for train back to her parents home in Delaware, Paige purchases the latest issue of Harpers Bazaar and a bottle of water- Age 30

-To make sure no one sits next to her on the train, Paige piles her weekend bag, purse, and jackets on the seat next to her and pretends to be asleep whenever she senses someone approaching- Age 13

-Eats ham and cheese sandwich dinner her boyfriend packed for her- Age 7

-Paige's parents (and their beloved dog) pick Paige up at the train station and bring Paige home where she promptly heads to the fridge and drinks two Stella's in about 7 minutes- Age 20

-Paige's mom shows her a website called "Puppy Party", the two Tibbetts women spent a good half hour shrieking and grabbing each-others hand, bonding over puppy antics- Age 6

Saturday

-Holly opts for leftover yams and shrimp, instead of usual Peter Pan sprinkled donut- Age 32

-Holly helps a man with a cart get up the stairs to the G train shuttle bus, thinking she is a good Samaritan- Age 20

-Man with cart is actually extremely mean and his unattended cart barely misses small child as it rolls around on bus- No age, just be careful of people carrying their carts onto buses.

-At home, Holly changes into figure skating dress and tights, while mocking boyfriend's choice of jeans ("Come on, wear something more 'olympian'")-Age 12

-At the skate rental booth, Holly requests "authentic" skates and employee responds with "huh?"-Age 12

-Holly attempts skating tricks that put her blades at eye-level with skating children-Age 9

-Later that night, Holly and her boyfriend go to Spring Lounge for a friends 32nd birthday-Age 32

-Jolly Rancher Lollipop doesn't give Holly the "energy" she hoped for so she has her boyfriend take her home-age 16

-Paige's mom wakes her up around 8:30 by throwing the dog on Paige's bed and exclaiming, "Its time to go tot he MALL!" Paige and her mom drive a half hour to "the greatest mall on the east coast, KING OF PRUSSIA" listening to Taylor Swift and the Glee Soundtrack the entire drive-Age 15

-At Nordstom Rack Paige and her mom "kill it" in the shoe section, scoring Paige's "dream shoes" TWO colors for under $50. Paige and her mom congratulate themselves on the inherent Scottish thriftiness- Age 27

- Paige helps her mom find the perfect "springy, peachy, shiny" lipstick at Laura Mercier- Age 32

- Back at home, Paige shows her mom the video for Vampire Weekend's "Giving up the Gun", they simultaneously scream when Jake Gyllenhall comes on the screen- Age 18

-Paige helps her parents make a delicious and nutritious meal, all with ingredients from Trader Joes- Age 35

-Paige gets a little too excited about drinking her parents "expensive wine" (bottle over $3) and over-serves herself- Age 23

-Paige is confused to find herself really REALLY excited about the mens short track speed skating, feels strangely proud to be American- Age 37

Sunday

-Holly miscalculates the sunshine-to-temperature ratio and goes for a run in shorts and a tank top-Age 14

-Holly and Kristy go into (well known Vegan restaurant) S'Nice and order Thai "Chicken" Wrap thinking "Chicken" means chicken. It does not- Age 21

-Holly purchases a white jean jacket and a mood ring shaped as a starfish-Age 12

-Holly refuses to pet "cute" bodega cat that Kristy is immediately enamored with- Age 24

-Back at home, Holly and roommates eat French fries, vanilla yogurt, and kettle corn for "dinner" while watching (and salivating over Paul Rudd in) "I Love You Man" -Age 24

-Paige's parents let her sleep in till 11am- Age 17

-Paige's mom makes breakfast of raspberry-jam-and-Nutella-filled Ebelskiver's (they are like mini-pancakes and you are jealous) and Paige and her parents watch "Real Sports: With Bryant Gumbel"- Age 40

-Paige and her mom watch "16 and Pregnant" and "Intervention: Huffing" back to back- Age 14

-Paige and her mom shop for nail polish- Age 16

-Paige's parents drop her off at the creepy bus station in downtown Wilmington, Paige is 90% positive she sees her 16 year old cousin waiting for the same bus but is afraid to approach her because asking a strange teenager "Hey, aren't you my cousin?" would be beyond awkward.- No age, Paige just has a big family.

-Paige's possible-cousin doesn't make it on the bus and Paige starts to get nervous that perhaps her cousin was trying to run away from home- Age 30 for maternal-ish instincts (that quickly pass)

-Paige comes home and the girls make sure to watch season finale of "Keeping up with the Kardashians" where the oldest Kardashian, while in labor, pulls her own baby out of her loins, becoming more than just a reality star- no points, just that's totally awesome and we really want one of the "16 and Pregnant" kids to do the same

Though Holly ate yams instead of frosting, and Paige voluntarily watched the Winter Olympics, we had an average age of 16.8! Our youngest in quite some time! Apparently, Paige's hometown brings out her inner high-schooler and Holly can't stay away from mood rings. Hopefully over the next week we'll "grow up".