Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Hump Day! Our Wednesday post to get you through the rest of the week. So here it is. At least your aren't.....this guy:

Two summers ago, Paige, Kristy, Chrissy, my ex, Paige's bf, and a slew of overlapping guests lived in a glorified one bedroom in Williamsburg (errr no, make that Bushwick). We had no privacy, no chairs, and certainly no television. So instead of discussing our life goals or writing letters to our grandmothers we spent hour upon hour using stolen WiFi to search the Craigslist Strictly Platonic Personals. We found these aptly titled personals to be incredibly interesting (sorry, life goals) and we all openly found people we would seriously want to get in touch with (sorry Grandma!).

As I was in a good mood today I found it difficult thinking of people that evoked loads of sympathy. The child standing next to the kid Madonna adopted? Someone with a phobia of social networking? Tripp Palin? Someone who regrets joining the Peace Corps and is only 2 weeks in? The schizophrenic guy in a Nebraskan psych ward my nursing student sister is supposedly taking care of?

None of this was inspiring any sadness (let's just say Kristy made tacos for dinner last night and I'm still kinda happy about it).

So I went back to what really inspires me. My relationship (strictly platonic) with Craigslist's personals. These are desperate people who are pretending to want a platonic relationship. Not only are they admitting to not having many friends, they are also obviosly looking for something more than friendly but are too scared to admit it. Who to choose? The Lonely Virgin? The Homely Homegirl?

After some seriously strange looks from peeping coworkers I decided on "Nothing Interesting Here". His admittance to lack of having anything interesting is...interesting. Self-degradation at its best, my friends. So check him out! And give him a call, but only if you are, and were born 100% woman. Maybe you could find out what is behind those velvet curtains? Or find out the difference between a professional hooker and a hooker? Or how many points you get for asking what he keeps in that nifty little zipper on his arm? A snack? A favorite poem perhaps?
Please, feel better about your life, sexual tolerance, and curtains after reading this, and as usual, have a happy Hump Day.

nothing interesting here.. - m4w (Battery Park)
Date: 2009-10-03, 10:56PM EDT
Reply To This Post
...and then again, maybe is

First of all, respond only when you're 100% woman, born as a woman,.Im european born, single guy here in NYC, been here for over a decade already.Im easy going person, with a dry sense of humor.If you're a friendly non-pretentious and easy going gal, let me know. Im open to all races and the age upper limit would be maybe 42, works for Ashton Kutcher, so..i might try that,perhaps.Please respond with a picture, i will probably receive 2 dozen professional hooker emails here, and they end up in my spam folder, so no need to even bother...thank you for reading, you have earned 5 points already, if you reply, you will earn an additional 5 points, and if you write something, you will earn extra 10 points, if you dont like my post, you will loose 70 points ;)

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 1405327231

1 comment:

  1. omg, i died DIED the zipper pocket comment oh and loovvveee the kissing camel pic!! kristy