Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Electric Feel

Thanks for the new shoes mom! Why get something warm, practical, and black when you can get something ridiculous, semi-uncomfortable, and bedazzled?

Growing up, there were countless times my mother told me to, "Get with the program". I forget my keys all the time. My sister, who is still in college, is the "established one" while I am still "figuring out what the hell I'm doing".
Why have eggs for breakfast when one could have Tropical Skittles? My phone has "jumped" out of my purse so many times At&T has dropped my insurance. Last weekend when shopping with my mother, I opted for "must have" sparkly, bejeweled flats instead of a practical black fitted jacket. I am unsure of the exact ages of my parents, and have botched which grade my kid sister is in a couple of times.
So, as far as 24 year-olds go, I am, at best, immature. So how my name wound up on our cable and electric bill is a mystery to my entire girlfriendship family. That said, it's a dirty job making your beloved roommates cough up their share of the bills once a month and today was one of those days. "Payday" in the sense that I sent out a "Happy Wednesday" email with what our monthly costs are divided by 4.
There are usually varied amounts because someone usually owes someone an undisclosed amount for "that time you spotted me for thai food" or something similar. One time Paige owed me for LAMB bag and I was paid in full with a neat stack of 50's and 20's. It was pretty badass.
After sending my happy email today Paige replied with:

kk will write you a big fat check for $64.13. gah!
happy haloween!!

Gah because she owed me an extra $20 for a floppy hat and some orchid colored Havianas (we got matching ones! How cute!) that I bought for her.

I have no qualms writing ConEdison a phat check and happily licking the envelope with love. However, there is a an awkward sense of remorse when friends know they are $64.13 poorer than they used to be. I could have consoled Paige with a, "no worries! Pay when you can!" or a complimentary bag of salted cashews later. Instead I decided to let her, as well as our other live-ins, know about all the happiness and, er, entertainment this $64.13 have brought us.

-I rarely blow dry my hair for personal reasons, however think of all the lovely homemade blowouts you girls get?
-the panini maker (Paige, need I remind everyone of how awesome the two (2!) ham and cheese sandwiches were 2 days ago?)
-our Ipod speaker dock thingy, sure it doesn't work that great, but would our lives be the same without my awesome (atrocious) weekend playlists that cover everything from Semisonic to Lisa Loeb?
-Kristy's angel curls courtesy of numerous curling irons

-Facebook stalking just won't be on the same level if we were stealing internet and didn't get as great a connection
-looking at the personals on Craigslist is such a great way to pass the time, and who knows, maybe one day one of us will get the guts to reply to one.
-watching movie trailers on Paige's new computer. Our witty banter about actually seeing movies such as "Fame", "Sorority Row" (it's Audrina! She's dead!), and, of course, the movie with the cannibalistic infant entitled "
-looking at ex-boyfriends on Facebook and finding out that they are either married, engaged, or exactly the same but fatter. (Priceless?)

Digital Cable:
-being able to re-watch Don Draper on Demand, swoon.
-Degrassi marathons! The one's that are actually televised as marathons and the ones where we just On Demand our own.
-all of our Award Show "parties", which is really just an excuse for us to eat what is pictured here:

-Seeing what happens in the "Bass Cave" every week on Gossip Girl
-the laughter that exudes from Kristy watching really, really, reeaallyyy bad sitcoms.
-Teresa Prostitution-WHORE's
table flipping scene from Real Housewives of New Jersey...aka: my and Paige's version of porn.

So, lady roommates, this is why I need your $$$. Be happy about writing me this check, it buys you something better than a new negligee or J.Crew beaded headband. Your electric/cable/Internet check buys you something better than what can be held in your hand: love, family closeness, and Chrissy passed out in front of The Hills.

Forever Your Girl,


p.s. Paige and I are experimenting with technology and if you click on the GRAY links above you will get smarter.


  1. i wish the word "fat" was in grey when talking about one of our exboyfriends, and it would link to a facebook page of a an unfortunate ex.

  2. i want to come to an award show partayyyyy