Monday, April 19, 2010

Maturity Index

Blindfolded and eating Mustard

The weather was warmer than was predicted, and we had more booze than was predicted. Let’s see how last weekend added up!

-Holly goes home and cuddles with sleepy Chrissy on the couch while reading about Anne Sextons steamy letters to a monk in Sexton’s autobiography and simultaneously watching The Shining-Age 42
-Paige and Sarah come baring gifts of champagne, raspberry vodka, and gifted, grossly syrupy strawberry liquor-Age 21

-Free, gross, berry liquor drinks are made. Everyone except Holly spits them out-Age 14
-Paige squeals with joy when she realizes a brand new Degrassi episode is on, and fills everyone in on what the episode is about as she has obviously been watching the previews for it since last Friday- Age12
-Everyone agrees Degrassi episode about a pervy basketball coach who forces his star player to "do it" with a prostitute named Stacy was “awesomeeeeee”.-Age 13
-Everyone says they are hungry and so we all make another drink-Age 24

-Everyone FINALLY gets motivated and gets their butts to Union Hall to play bocce. -Age 24
-Bocce waitlist is 9 inches long and Paige pouts a little bit, and then falls asleep on Holly’s shoulder-Age 7
-Everyone decides to take a cab home, but instead make a pit stop at the soccer bar Woodworks-Age 24
-Order 2 cans of Modelo, Woodworks Nuts (Paige, “WOOD NUTS!”), and a gruyere grilled cheese-Age 16
-Grilled cheese comes with world’s most delicious pickles. Paige announces this, and the creepy waiter asks Paige (2 inches from her face) if she "wants more of my pickles"- Age 15
-Girls eat pickles, and WOOD NUTS, and grilled cheese and stumble home to bed-Age 21

-Holly wakes up to go to kickboxing class and is polite to the sweating, grunting man in class who has positioned himself within elbow's length -Age 24
-Paige, Sarah, Kristy, and Chrissy enjoy a brunch of, of course, pizza- Age 22
-Holly is in need of “cheesy cappuccino” to drink while walking around Fort Greene. Everyone follows suit stopping at our favorite bodega for delicious cappuccino that comes out a machine-Age 17 (note: delicious beverage DOES NOT contain cheese).
-Holly saw a white dress with see-through cutouts on the way home form gym and makes everyone look at/gawk at dress in Fort Greene urban boutique-Age 16
-Everyone goes in What’s Next? Urban shoe store. Soon, they have to leave because it smells like a port-a-potty and carries threatening tank tops that feature a "7 Deadly Sins" grapic-Age 16

-Everyone gets a manicure-Age 14
-Holly picks out several neon colors for Paige, which Paige is of course contemplates, but shocks everyone by picking an off-white shade named “Walking Down the Aisle”-Age 42
-Paige gets “wedding jitters” and has her manicurist take off the milky white color and replace it with a more appropriate highlighter-yellow shade-Age 12
-Paige and her manicurist swap shopping tips-Age 13
-Paige and Holly hold hands and show off their manicures. Decide their hot purple/yellow nail combo resemble the colors of 90’s basketball team-Age 12, but are making 90’s jokes, so age 24
-The girls go to Target and Holly pouts because no one else wants to buy an electric snow cone machine. Paige complains and pouts about not wanting to spend money on a new hairdryer, even though her old one sounds and smells extremely dangerous-Age 12
-Holly buys Chex Mix (that she opened in the store) and plastic popsicle makers-Age 11
-Paige buys a value pack of Hello Kitty chap-sticks that she shares-Age 11
-Holly goes home to watch the new household copy of New Moon-Age 15
-Holly and Paige meet up in the city later to discuss having an ebay store collaborate on their blog-Age 24
-Holly and Paige share a quick PB&J and then part for the night-Age 14

-Paige, Holly, Chrissy, and Holly’s bf share some homemade brunch and subtly argue over NY Magazine’s Best Neighborhoods in New York, (ie Why does it mean that Greenpoint has the most atheists AND gymgoers?!)-Age 24
-Holly and boyfriend go to the Guggenheim to see the new Haunted exhibit, Holly is disappointed this actually doesn’t involve seeing pictures of poltergeists-Age 14
-Paige and her friend babysit, they take the baby to a playground they get nervous about the baby falling and hurting herself, they return to the baby's house to find themselves locked out. They attempt to take the baby to a bar to "hang out" till the parents get back, and instead end up feeding her pea soup at a cafe and taking funny pictures of the baby covered in green slime- Age 19
-Paige and Holly meet at home later to conduct a much needed Mustard Mystery Test-no age, because this was a little weird even for us

-Holly makes more raspberry liquor raspberry vodka diet lemonade cocktails to cleanse palate while tasting mustard-Age 21
-Holly and Paige go about blindfolding each other, and putting mustard on each other's faces while their boyfriends draw and read quietly nearby-again, no age, just, we are lucky to have each other and people that put up with us
-Bedtime: 10:19pm-Age 17

This weekend we proved to be 19.4, which we understand. When blindfolds and nuts are involved we know things can get a little crazy. Next weekend there’s a funk concert at the Brooklyn Bowl and Earth Day, which means the need to recycle beer cans and Georgi bottles!


  1. steven is obviously cheating. the old tilt your head up on look down trick. come on ste now we're never going to do any mock kidnappings with you

  2. That was soooooooooooooo nice of your new friends to comment on your post again. They love you guys!