Monday, May 24, 2010

Maturity Index:

Beagle Howls and Mourning LOST

This weekend was a bit of a dark one. Literally, it was quite cloudy. And figuratively, Paige was really sad about one of her favorite shows ending (you know how we get about TV). But as with the ending of anything, we chose to look forward. Even discussing matching swim-wear for the 4th of July.



-Goes to Brasserie Ruhlman with coworkers for after work cocktails- Age 32

-Has her glass refilled twice over anyone else- Age 21

-Same goes for French fry consumption- Age 9

-Holly and boss start planning office talent show contest while Holly plots her tap dancing routine in her head- Age 12

-Holly meets Shawn by the Endless Summer Taco Truck in Williamsburg, where she stands next to the painting of the Mexican lady on the truck because they are "twins"--Age 16


-At the bar, Holly insists on "opening a can of Shufflebard whoop ass" with Shawn, however the opposing team totally dominates any sort of drunk shuffleboard skills Holly thinks she had after beating her dad once-Age 18

-Holly whines until Shawn drags her onto the bus to go home-Age 12


-Paige and Kristy leave Brooklyn to meet Chrissy in the city. Kristy's Riannah-inspired Charlotte Russe shoes break on the way to the train, they detour and purchase Super Glue to repair the wedges. This only works for a few minutes until the other shoe breaks too. Kristy is made to shuffle-walk the whole night. Glue Shoes...- Age 16

-Drink mason-jar margaritas at Sweet and Viscous with roommates- Age 25

-Krisys boyfriend bribes Paige with free gin and tonics if she will agree to come to the next bar with them and "Please be nice" to his friends- Age 21

-Paige can only be nice for one more drink before walking home to Steven's house, they eat ice cream and watch some vampire movie- Age 13


-Paige is the fist person at Old Navy, scoping matching "Patriotic Bikini's" for she and Holly (And you, Barb!) to wear on the 4th of July- Age 13

Star Spangled Tan Lines

-Paige, Kristy and Chrissy meet for "breakfast" of street vendor hot dogs, discuss the previous night- Age 16

-Paige and Chrissy meet emily on the Upper East Side for an exhibit of "artifacts" from the set of LOST, nerd-out over the Dharma Van and Mr. Clucks costume- Age 20 (and super nerdy)

-The girls get brunch at Paige's favorite childhood diner, E.J.'s. They order mimosas and talk about men, but never once do they compare themselves to "Sex and The City" (thats how you know you are actually becoming a New Yorker)- Age 25

-Holly and Shawn go to Willyburg farmers market for breakfast, Holly makes sure not to fill-up on an organic breakfast as not to spoil her future FroYo-Age 12

-Holly "beagle howls" at beagles passing by-Age 9

-Paige, Holly and Chrissy reconvene on couch and watch movie trailers on Paige's computer. Paige is bossy and they fight over what to watch:

-Paige likes the movie about the people who run a postitiute ranch- Age 24

-Holly chooses the one about the Argentinian writer, it has subtitles- Age 40

-Chrissy insists on "Despicable Me"- Age 8

-They all get a little teary-eyed at "Eat, Pray, Love"- Age 30

-After all the previews have been watched everyone settles-in for a Lifetime Movie Block entitled "Dysfunction Junction"- Age 37

-In one, Anne Heche is a junky bum-mom who's daughter, Kristen Bell (xoxo, Gossip Girl) saves the day.

-In the following, Kiersten Dunst is a preggo 15 year old with a huge attitude problem, go figure.

Bum Mom

-After her plans fall through, Paige debates whether or not to leave the house, considering she has a chin-zit AND the first-ever episode of "Sex and the City" is on TBS- Age 15

-Paige decides to go out anyways, since TBS severely censors the SATC, meets Kristy in DUMBO, plays beer pong- Age 18

-Holly forces Shawn to spend his Saturday watching SATC reruns-Age 20

-They eat spicy Indian, Shawn admits to having seen most of the episodes, pass out-Age 31


-Holly makes Paige a plate of leftover Indian, that Paige eats while wrapped in a faux fur blanket at 8am-Age 24

-Holly warns Paige about the Vindaloo lamb spiciness, Paige eats it carelessly and does some little coughs-Age 17

-Paige is couch-ridden, watches "The Jersey Shore", naps- Age 19

-Holly comes home from Soho shopping and talks about going to the gym while eating rest of Indian (that stuff can really stretch!) and watching new episodes of the Real Housewives of New Jersey-Age 24

-Paige and Holly do routine smack talk on housewives while tease-throwing bags, water bottles, etc at each other- Age 15

-Paige and Chrissy prepare for the LOST series finale by making treats: lasagna aka "LOSTsagna" and Gar-Locke Bread- Age 23 (again, way nerdy)

-Holly tries to contribute (she is not a Lost watcher/follower) and makes the connection that LOST's Juliette is played by the same woman who played Angelina Jolie's girlfriend in the movie "Gia", congratulates herself, then goes to bed-Age 20

-Paige eats ice cream, cries a lot at LOST, has a hard time falling asleep because she's "Seriously, just so sad"- Age 24 (and kind of pathetic)

Seriously. Like, so sad.

This slightly-uneventful weekend aged us at 20 years old. Next weekend Paige needs to stop crying about LOST and man-up, and Hols needs to go easy on the fro-yo because we have business to attend to. Bachlorette-ish party AND Kristy's Birthday! Age is just a number.

Forever your Girls,

Paige and Holly

1 comment:

  1. 水是聰明者的唯一飲料. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .