Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Happy Humpday!

I was a figure skater for 9 long, cold, bedazzled years. I could do this fancy trick where I put my leg next to my head, and could do this decently entertaining shoulder shimmy shake, but other than that I really wasn't very good. Most of my points came from smiling and "pretty hands". I was slow. I ran head first into the boards one time during a competition. My "jumps" were more "hops" disguised as double salchows.

But that didn't stop my family from obsessing over the sport/art of figure skating. My dad considered Kristi Yamaguchi to be his long lost daughter. My mother favored the critically acclaimed yet risky jumper Katarina Witt (who I found out doing extensive reasearch for this post, posed for certain risque magazines). My younger sister loved Surly Bonaly, who once did an illegal backflip in a program after she botched her jumps.

I still consider meeting Nancy Kerrigan my biggest celebrity encounter (of course that will all change when Mary Kate Olsen strolls into Home Sweet Home one night...).
I, before her world famous "mishap", loved Tonya Harding. She was the skater I never was. A total badass. She skated to Jurassic Park while I hopped around to the theme song from Bewitched. Tonya was famous for "accidentally" "brushing against" other skaters during the practice warm up, skating away unapologetically whilst I would would stop and beg for forgiveness on the verge of tears if I got in the way of someone's jump.

Although my figure skating career was obviously over the day my token "shoulder shimmy" didn't get me on the podium, I still love the sport/art. So when I came across this Johnny Wier video, I had to share it with the world (our followers). Not only is this a little bit Holly (the skating part bit), but Johnny is also skating to (his close friend) Lady Gaga's "Poker Face", which Paige adores.

So, watch, enjoy, dance along, and appreciate Johnny's hip rolls. We certainly did. Happy Humpday kids!

Forever Your Girl,


I had an obvious yet legit crush on this guys, Ukranian born Victor Petrenko. Swoon

Help for Hati Suggestion:

Danse Family Fundraiser

As we, Paige and Holly, are sometimes fabulous but always poor, there isn't too much we can do financially to help the Haiti victims and their families. However, when we found out that our friend, blog supporter, and super-sweet girl, Darnelle of Brooklyn lost family members that were living in Port-au-Prince, we immediately felt for Darnelle and her family and wanted to try and find some way to help. Texting hefty sums of money on our parents' phone bills just didn't seem like the way help our friend who works just down the street from our house.

The delicious Kush Cafe, where we had the first our roommate Christmas dinners, is having a fundraiser in which the proceeds will be given to Darnelle's family, the Dasnes.

We will be at Kush cafe Wednesday, February 3rd for the all-you-can-eat French Pan-African cuisine that is $20 and sounds absolutely awesome (we're not sure what Fricasee of Conch is but we're sure it's delish).

So follow our example, and do something good for your stomach and your heart and come!

Dasne Family Fundraiser

Wednesday, February 3rd 5pm-11pm

$20 Per Person All-You-Can-Eat Buffet

Salade de Saint MarcMixed greens, tomato, onions, egg, lemon dressing
Main Courses

Beef Tassot au Riz Djon-DjonCrisp beef bites with black rice & banana pesée

Lambi Fricassee of conch, mirepoix vegetables, red kidney beans, rice & banana pesée

All profits will be donated to the Dasnes.
RSVP: or (718) 230-3471
Kush Café17 Putnam Ave (@ Fulton btwn Cambridge & Grand)
Brooklyn, NY 11238

Forever Your Girls,
Hollyn and Paige

Monday, January 25, 2010

Maturity Index:

Wherein We Learn You Must Always Wear Pants on UES

This weekend we were verbally assaulted by a middle aged woman wearing what appeared to be a crown of mink, while we were wearing PETA-approved faux leopard/puma coats. This was awesome and without a doubt the highlight of January 2010. This lady should learn to act her age. Who, besides Regina George, just makes fun of girls like that? Here is last weekends M.I.:


-Paige eats a bowl of edamame for "dinner"- Age 19

-Paige literally takes over two hours trying on clothes and yelling across the apartment "I HATE ALL MY CLOTHES, I need to hit up Forever 21 BAD!"- Age 14

-Holly puts on the same overpriced American Apparel pajama shorts she has worn the last 3 weekends- Age 9

-After almost an hour on the train, headed to 95th St., we are "greeted" uppon exiting the subway by a grumpy middle aged woman who accuses of us being "women of the night" but uses a bit more of offensive slang.- Age 21

-Paige's only response is "Why are you being so mean!"- Age 10

-Holly's is "Uh, yeah we have shorts on under our coats"- Age 19

-We decide we were only accosted because this old woman was jealous, has many cats, and we were wearing fur/leopard print jackets and "bad girl" shoes, cheers to our youth- Age 24

-Arrive to our friends going away party in her gorgeous apartment that has real furniture and a tv that she did NOT find on the street- Age 32

After a few bottles of Cristalino "champagne" our adult farewell party devolves into a middle school basement dance party after Paige puts on "Party in the USA", what else?- Age 15

-Yoga demonstration also happened in "bad girl" shoes at one point- Age 40


-We both wake up in Paige's toaster bed, Holly is wearing full sweat-suit and UGGs on, Paige is wearing her outfit from the night before- Age 19 (Holly immediately de-layered sweats and Paige switched toaster mechanism to 'off') -

-We go wake up Kristy and lay in her bed and tease her about the boy she was dancing with the night before (what's his name? Joey? Alex? It's normal sounding right?)- Age 13

-Paige friend, Meg arrives and she and Paige go to a long, fancy brunch then spend the rest of the day shopping and gossiping- Age 30

-Holly and Kristy go to "bring a friend day" at Equinox and Holly immediately tells hottie trainers she is there for the free food and literally eats a "health" wrap en route to the treadmill- Age 14

-Holly does minor league begging to have Kristy bring in mini bottles to gym so she can steal "complimentary" Kiehls products for her -Age 16

-Holly wants Kristy to give her an "updo" to go see NYC ballet so is 45 minutes late leaving for date-Age 9

-Holly makes "stranger jokes" at Lincoln Center about how easily it would be to just tumble over the balcony- no age because this is not funny or appropriate at any age

-Sober cries when Romeo meets Juliet-Age 62

-Paige and Meg drink Prosecco, eat crudite and postpone their night on the town to watch the SAG awards- Age 40

-Paige and her friends go out to the bars where Paige gets in a fight with a bouncer after telling him "You are so mean you could be a step mom", she leaves shortly after- Age 10


-Paige is drinking mysterious juice with a straw:

Holly: "Paige, is there vodka in that?"

Paige: "No... there's wine in it"

Holly: "I ALWAYS know when you're drinking" -no age but it was 10:30 am on a Sunday so...

-Paige and Holly go to brunch at a French restaurant with friends- Age 25

-We loudly point and admire a fellow bruncher's cardigan that has various dogs woven in it- Age 12

-Holly goes to the Brooklyn Museum with her boyfriend and their friends to see "Who Shot Rock and Roll" for the second time- Age 30
-Afterward they all go to bar to watch Madrid soccer game that boyfriend has been talking about for a week where Holly pouts about lack of attention and instead talks about the hotness of David Beckham-Age 14

-Paige and her friend head into Bed Stuy to check out their other friends new apartment, talk about how awesome it is that Paige lives so close to where Biggie Smalls grew up- Age 17

-Paige, Holly and Kristy girlpile on the couch, complain that theres no goo TV on untill 9pm when the "Pregnancy Pact" comes on Lifetime- Age 16

-Eat Whoppers, popcorn, frozen yogurt and turkey pepperoni- Age 10

It doesn't surprise us at all that the Miley Cyrus dancing and "Stepmother" name-calling make us 21.2, despite the fact the Holly went to the ballet and Paige ordered her Croque Madame brunch with a Brigitte Bardot-worthy accent. Next weekend Paige, Holly, and roommates will be playing musical beds as our married friends shack up with us for their first NYC visit.

Forever your Girls,
Holly & Paige

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Hump Day Inspiration:

The Jersey Shore Has Been Renewed

When my brother first told me that MTV was coming out with a Real World-ish show that was based on the Jersey Shore and would follow, exclusively, a month in the life of 8 "guidos" and "guidettes" (I'm still not sure if I'm allowed to call them that, but JWOWW said its a "compliment"), I was displeased. As a lifetime Jersey Shore-er I have always had the annoying, elitist task of having to tell people, "No, no Stone Harbor is different than Wildwood". But now that I have fallen hard under the Jersey Shore spell, I no longer care if people can differentiate between fancy-pants Stone Harbor (where Oprah and Tom Cruise own homes) and Sleazeside heights. Instead, I proudly give a little fist-pump and just refer to it as the "Jerzay Showah Bitch!" (as Snooks would say).
So you can imagine how excited I was today when one of my bff's and fellow Jersey Girl, Jess informed me that not only was the Jersey Shore being renewed for another season, with THE SAME CAST, but they were going to be filming it in the town of Sea Isle City, a mere 3 miles from Stone Harbor, and the same beach town where, we had our first Jello Shots, learned how to play quarters and eventually became obsessed with infamous cover-band Mr. Greenegenes.

To think that this summer we could be eating pickles with Snooks, watching Sammi "Sweetheart" cry about her Flintstone toe, seeing JWOWW bust some "zoo creatures" in the face for calling her fat is just thrilling. I'm already daydreaming about "The Situation" creeping on my friends, battling the beat (because there is "something inside him") with Vinnie and figuring out a way to "stalk Paulie D's life on the boardwalk". And maybe if I play my cards right, I could get in on some of that Gym, Tanning and Laundry action with Ronnie.

So, heres to Chicken Cutlet night, Sea Isle Style! Enjoy the rest of your week.

Forever Your Girl,


Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Maturity Index:

The Long Long Weekend

Long weekend, longer Maturity Index. Duh.

-Post-work drinks drinks with co-workers to say goodbye to our beloved assistant publisher- Age 27
-Most of those drinks were Screwdrivers- Age 15
-Hug my departing coworker and cry a little bit, then show up to fancy dinner with boyfriend 15 minutes late and slightly buzzed- Age 18
-Eat tons of sea urchin (my favorite food)- Age 25
-after work wine/Chex Mix/boyfriend combo-Age 23
-watches non-narrative, no-plot film Baraka- Age 50
-and OBVIOUSLY falls asleep watching coal miner/bathing Japanese yakuza mobster comparison-Age 9

-Roommates prepare for a day at the spa but Paige and Chrissy stop at Golden Crust for Jerk Chicken patties- Age 18
-In midst of G train shuttle chaos Holly takes cab from Greenpoint to Fort Greene- Age 18
-In midst of G train shuttle chaos Holly stops at Peter Pan bakery to buy doughnut gift for roommate spa day- age 9
-Roommates all meet at Body By Brooklyn spa for a day of hydrotherapy and relaxation- Age 37 (and fancy!)
-We spend a very relaxing afternoon in various saunas, steam rooms and hot tubs but we are all too chicken to fully immerse ourselves in the 40 degree "arctic plunge pool"- Age 13
-We are offered a "treatment" that involves a "Russian beating with oak leaves" from a sweating shirtless Russian man in a weird hat, we decline- no age, just probably a good move.
-We stop by the fancy grocery store on our way home, can't find anything we want (we want candy and soda that will shorten our lives) so we go hit up our neighborhood Met instead and get Gobstoppers and Turkey Pepperoni- Age 16
-We girlpile and watch an incredibly disturbing movie on Lifetime about Kevin Bacon kidnapping Charliz Theron's child, we get really into it and muse about how horrible it would be to be a mom and have your child taken, especially if your child was Dakota Fanning who is adorable- Age 35
-We make an iPod mix involving lots of Ke$ha and get ready to meet our friends at Brooklyn Bowl- Age 21
-At Brooklyn Bowl we steal margaritas from someone's birthday party table, dirty dance with each other keep bothering the DJ with annoying requests- Age 15 (note: The DJ's there supposedly don't have Ke$ha)
-The night ends with some serious discussions about life that get a little depressing- Age 40

-We head up to the 92nd St. Y for the Lecture on Women in Literature with Joyce Carol Oates. (Holly's boyfriend got us tickets for Christmas)- Age 65, which was literally the average age of the attendees.

Is that Madonna? No, it's Joyce Carol Oates!

-We are both wearing bad-girl shoes, leopard-print clothing, and shiny accessories among a sea of turtlenecks and tribal-jewelry necklaces of other Y attendees- Age 20
-We whimper and squeeze each others hands when she (JCO!) comes out to the podium, as she is basically our Madonna-Age 14
-Notice that Michael Showalter is there which Paige get's awkward about because she got totally denied while trying to buy him a drink once-Age 21

Micheal Showalter...doesn't drink. (or so he told Paige)

-Afterwards we stand in line to get her to sign our books, we sweat nervously as we try to figure out what to say to her and finally settle on something like "Hi, we love you, we want to be writers", to which she says "Good luck" and pats (and kind of pushes-away) Paige on her elbow, we walk away with Paige shouting "She TOUCHED me!"- Age 12
-We prepare a very interesting menu for our friends who are about to come over to watch the Golden Globes:
-Pork Tacos- Age 27
-Edamame- Age 33
-Pancakes, with chocolate chips, honey roasted cashews, coconut shreds and Reddi-Whip- Age 12
-Sourpatch Kids and Gobstoppers- Age 7
-Sugar cookies with cake frosting- Age 6

-We laugh at all the drunk actors giving acceptance speeches, we also have stomach aches- Age 24
-The apartment is really cold so we both go to sleep in Paige's heated bed while making jokes of what kind of sandwiches we are toasting away in bed- Age 8
-Wake up early, make coffee, clean the apt, go to the gym- Age 30
-Engage in our MLK Holiday tradition of having a endless soup, salad, and bread "Power Lunch" at Olive Garden... in Times Square. We do this to be ironic (right?)- Age 24

-Fully intend on stealing some "free" soup because it would be funny, and delicious, but we are placed in the center of the dining room- Age 14
-Successfully steal some breadsticks- Age 14

-Holly buys pricey cheese, chicken, basil, grapes, and different colored squash thinking she will make a family dinner with it- Age 14
-Holly and roommates watch "The Hot Chick" while boyfriend cooks and makes sense of non-sensical food purchase-Age 17 (note: Rachel McAddams plays "the hot chick" before she turns into Rob Schneider")

Stealing margaritas! Stealing carbs! Rob Schneider stealing Rachel McAddams body! Stealing an awkward glance at Michael Showalter! We had a great weekend, probably because our average age was 21.1 years. Next weekend Holly goes to the ballet and Paige has a friend in town.

Forever Your Girls,
Paige and Hollyn

Friday, January 15, 2010

Inexplicable Obsessions:



If there is one thing I hate (besides slow walkers) it's whales. They are way to huge to make any sense and they live in the water but breathe air and that hurts my brain. I am also permanently scarred from a story my Alaskan fisherman exboyfriend told me about a whale breaching a few feet away from his skiff and almost drowning him, but I digress.

too big.

Now, if there is one thing i love (besides Cheddar Chex Mix and neon colors) it's unicorns. What could be cooler than a mythical pony, hatched from an egg, that comes in a variety of colors (in my imagination) with a single horn who may or may posses the ability to fly? Thats right, nothing!

Love of my Life.

Well, while reading National Geographic the other day I discovered that the impossible had happened; my biggest fear has mated with ultimate fantasy (the "riding a unicorn" fantasy, not the "laying under a pile of puppies" fantasy), and the spawn is an incredible creature known as a Narwhal.

Narwhals are medium-sized (still too big) whales who live around the arctic, they travel in pods may be endangered and blah blah blah whale trivia, whale trivia WHATEVER the point is they also have a MASSIVE swirly tooth that comes out of their upper lip and looks exactly like a giant unicorn horn, it can grow to be longer than 10 feet, thats like me standing on Holly's shoulders! And apparently back in the day a Narwhal tusk was worth three times its weight in gold!

Obviously, I immediately i decided I must own one, and just like slices of toast that look like Jesus, and Michael Jacksons toenail clippings, you can totally purchase a Narwhal tusk on e-Bay. They may not be worth three times their weight in gold anymore but they'll still run you a pretty penny. Thus I've made this pledge to Holly, when the day finally comes, and I'm sure it is fast approaching, when we are rich beyond our wildest dreams and super famous writers who are sharing James Franco as our love slave, I will purchase my narwhal tusk and will purchase for her, a piranha because for some reason she really wants one.

And now I will leave you with this final thought for the weekend. /p>

Forever your Girl,


Wednesday, January 13, 2010


The Best Thing to Happen Ever:

Two of our favorite things got together and had a baby. That would be Jon Hamm and Beards. That's right. Don Draper has a beard, ladies and gentlemen. Wednesday just got a little bit more worth living through. Carry on, now.

Hump Day: Roz and The Camera Man

Paige, myself, America, we all enjoy rooting for the underdog. We love 'Smalls' in The Sandlot, the horrific contestants on casting American Idol, Ringo Starr, and Michael Cera's character in every movie.
So we feel for ex-Bachelor contestant Rozlyn Papa, who "had a relationship" with a member of the production crew (I like to think it was a cameraman), in her 15 minutes of fame.

The cameramen/lighting guys are so easily overlooked. This poor guy probably had to sit idly by, camera on shoulder, filming season after season of crazy girls throwing themselves at these "desirable" and "studly" bachelors.
When Rozlyn, the reality show contestant/model/makeup-artist/"mother" (she sounds like a Juicy Couture sweats-wearing "cool mom") decided to jump the bones of the guy filming her, we sort of got it. We think Jake the Bachelor is cute, but he would totally be the kind of guy who wanted to tag along on "girls nights" and probably wears an apron while pouring himself a bowl of cereal. Not sexy.

Chris Harrison, who I adore, is married and an obvious tattle-tale.

Sure, one of the cameraman's biceps is probably larger than the other from carrying his equipment, or maybe he takes advantage of craft service table treats (God knows the girls aren't eating it), and he probably drives a white Chevy Malibu. We like the fact that it wasn't the star of "The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love" that Rozlyn fell for, but the (in our minds) artsy, shy, sensitive, nice-to-animals yet alluring cameraman.

We like that sexy Rozlyn went for the guy that doesn't wax his chest. We like that she had her rose taken away because she was "cheating" on Jake the Bachelor, while he was openly playing 15 other girls. We wish they would have at least kept her on the show, to see if this "spiritual" bachelor could really be forgiving and could have some sort of redemption talk with Rozlyn.

As you ponder all the awfulness of having two more days of work ahead, think about poor poor Rozlyn, and please, keep rooting for the underdog. Because we know you want Mighty Ducks 3 to happen.

Forever Your Girl,


Monday, January 11, 2010

Maturity Index: Cold = OLD

If there is one thing we learned this weekend, it's that our maturity is inversely correlated to the temperature outside. The lower the mercury dips on the thermometer, the more elderly we become, and this weekend as the temperature plummeted we started applying for our AARP cards.

Us, STILL watching Degrassi
-We meet up after work to get a drink and a snack before a show at The Upright Citizens Brigade. -Age 24
-Wandering around the unfamiliar area of 26th and 8th in the freezing cold we are driven into the first place we are poistive will serve hot sake.- Age 21
-On a budget as always, we order miso soup ($3) and cheapest and most bland sushi roll imaginable (carrot and cucumber) and a huge bottle of hot sake ($7) from our poor, overworked waitress- Age 19
-We stand outside the UCB theatre, freezing our asses off, checking out dudes , making jokes with strangers, and planning a hypothetical cross country road trip- Age 17
-During the show we are PISSED when, 20 minutes into the performance, a group of obnoxious highschool age kids sit behind us and begin chatting to eachother loudly, talking about drinking 40's and NOT turning off their cell phones, glare at them then finally loudly call them assholes. (I mean, we paid a whole $10 for this show!) Decide we hate kids- Age 30
-After the show we talk on the train about how disrespectful kids are these days and how "in our day" we never acted like them- Age 60
-Finally, on our warm couch in Brooklyn, we are excited to see that the Degrassi Marathon from last weekend is STILL ON!- Age 14
-Drink hot chocolate in girlpile- Age 8
Classic GirlPile
-Wake up, go to the gym, go grocery shopping, make healthy lunch and settle in to watch some news- Age 30
-News is quickly replaced by The Jersey Shore- Age 19
-Three hours of it.- Age 13
-We make more hot chocolate, but this time we put mint chocolate vodka in it- Age 21
-Holly heads out to a BAM screening of "Broken Embraces" with her boyfriend followed by burgers and Sixpoints at Matchless- Age 30
-Paige and Kristy put in the Ke$ha album and dance through the apartment while trying on outfits- Age 13
-Paige invents (another!) new drinking game involving how quickly one can answer questions from the "If.. 'Questions of Life"" book- Age 19
-Paige's boyfriend comes over to escort Paige and Kristy to a friends birthday party (where there is homemade salsa)- Age 32
-Paige and Kristy make him watch them do a semi-coreographed dance to "TiK TocK" by Ke$ha- Age 12
-At the birthday party Kristy plays with the host's cat as Paige hovers around the cake waiting for it to be served- Age 10
Ke$ha: Role Model for the ages.

-Wake up, go to the gym and Duane Reade, make healthy lunch again- Age 30
-Holly and her boyfriend make omelets, shop at the store "Junk", drink tea, and Holly reads Joyce Carol Oates as her boyfriend naps-Age 75
-Paige takes a bath, with bathsalts and maybe a candle or two- Age 40
-Paige takes cat nap in her bed that she calls her "Quizno's" bed (because it has a heated mattress pad and she feels like a big sandiwch when shes inside).- Age 10
-Holly, her boyfriend, and roommates consume wine, minestrone, and discuss their ancestors-Age 62
-Holly paints her nails hot pink while boyfriend tries explaining different sections of The Economist- Age 16
-Paige and her boyfriend get jerk chicken take-out and watch surf videos- Age 24

So this weekend we used bath salts, scolded children, ate healthy, and didn't get so drunk we threw up OR passed out in public BUT we also danced to Ke$ha and watched our fair share of Degrassi and The Jersey Shore making our average age 25.6, our oldest ever! Baby steps, people, baby steps.

Forever Your Girls,

Paige and Holly

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Happy Belated Humpday

Paige and I do alright in the looks department. People don't throw up when we are wearing crop tops. I curl my eyelashes. Paige is constantly self-manicuring with color's such as "Boris and Natasha" and "Disco Kitten". We both own running sneakers and (matching) sport bras.
On the other hand neither of us are even loosely related to Heidi Klum. We eat processed cheese. We succumb to Clean and Clear's sunny advertisements.

Despite, or possibly because, of my averageness, I got a little upset while reading about the recent controversial dating website entitled This site has members vote on newcomers, which must be deemed "beautiful" within 48 hours of trying to join. The site recently just revoked thousands of members because they had apparently gained weight over the holidays. So not only are these people shallow enough to only date beautiful people, they also narcisistically think they are beautiful, but they are, gulp, not hot enough for other desperate beautiful people.
I mean this is awful, really. Whatever happened to giving someone a chance? There have been several times where I have gone on a date and answered all of thetypical questions, and this is how it goes:

Paige: How was date?
Me: Good, good. It was good.
Paige: Did you blackout at dinner again?

Me: The ends a little fuzzy. Maybe I didn't need to have a cocktail while showering beforehand.
Paige: Did you makeout?

Me: No, not really. No. Nahhhh.
Paige: Is he funny?

Me: Sorta, he didn't get my Dog Whisperer joke though.
Paige: Is he cute?

Me: Oh Jesus, he's terrible looking.
Paige: Ouch. Do you like him?

Me: I'll go out with him again, he's nice.

No lies.

So, Happy Late Humpday. Because at least you weren't kicked off a shallow dating website for eating too many blintzes or chugging eggnog over the holidays. If you are one of these unfortunate now-fatter people, we advise you come to Brooklyn.

who wouldn't want to date this Brooklyn girl?

Where the girls here wear flat shoes, they drink dark beer and eat meatball pizza. They don't go tanning or work out that much. But come and look around. There are terrible looking guys who haven't shaved or pumped iron since last Easter who are getting laid. We advise you get on the C train to Brooklyn and study up on the Dog Whisperer.

Forever Your Girl,

Monday, January 4, 2010



"oh how i've missed thee"

So, over the Holidays we had so spend a long, hard 10 days away from each-other (and you, dear readers!). The likes of such separation we have never seen before, it was a challenge, of course, but we've become the poster-girls for "distance making the heart grow fonder". Holly and her family enjoyed a sun-soaked cruise as Paige was left to navigate through the blizzards of the Northeast without her partner in crime. Lets explore last weekend, including familiy time and our tearful, sunday funday reunion.



-Wake up feeling surprisingly spry considering the night before was New Year Eve- Age 12

-Take little brother out to the following activities; brunch, shopping for counterfeit Jordan sneakers on Canal st, the driving range and batting cages at Chelsea Piers: Age 30 because I didn't complain once EVEN on Canal St.

-Dinner is left over Pizza and PBR: Age 18

-EVERY DEGRASSI EVER MARATHON is on, watch 4 hours- Age 12

-Go to bar with roommate and brother, we hatch a scheme for my 21 year old brother to score the gal of his dreams- Age 25

-Leave bar early to go finish last nights left over Andre and watch more Degrassi- Age 16

-Realize we also have a mini bottle of Hypnotiq left over from the night before, split it three ways and all fall asleep on couch- Um. No age, this should just n ever happen.


-Wake up without motion sickness or NYE hangover despite being on a large cruise ship and champagne/wine/tequila/beer/rum combo from the night/day before-Age 19

-On a cruise that doesn't have a wet t-shirt contest-Age 62

-Lie to siblings, "Mom and Dad say you guys better get up so we can get to the beach early", because of urgency to get better tan-Age 14

-Lounge on Barbados shore reading Valley of the Dolls, thinking of ways I can incorporate word 'doll' into my everyday speaking- Age 16

-Agree to go out on sea turtle boat tour only if I am not pressured to snorkel because want to sit on boat and get better tan-Age 14

-Guy who owns boat's name is Smiley and passes around a bottle that once held bleach and now holds rum punch. I decline.-no age, just a fun fact

-Ask Smiley questions about Barbados native Rihanna for a considerably long time-Age 9

-Buy large bottle of Mount Gay rum for roomies asking everyone in Duty Free how much is legal to bring into the states- Age 18



-Parents are here, little brother and I meet them at boyfriends cafe for lunch- Age 30

-Obligatory midtown trip with whole family to see the tree at 30 Rock and visit Niketown- Age 13 (because thats how old I was the last time I did it)

-Trip to UES for family dinner at childhood favorite restaurant, EJ's Diner... nostalgia.- Age 24

-My brother and I order a hot fudge brownie sundae and fight over hot fudge and I fret because I hate wet walnuts so I spit them out- Age 7

-My brother and I head back to Brooklyn with every intention of going out to a bar, soon realize that there are some episodes of DEGRASSI we've never seen, we stay in- Age 12


-Wake up early in San Juan, and make sure I have packed all of my presents from Papa Noel while packing-Age 7

-Put on 70 SPF to walk around old San Juan-Age 62

-When Blackberry gets a signal, immediately check phone to see who drunk texted me on NYE-Age 21

-Tearful farewell to family after having my mom buy me a pack of gum- Age 12

-Make besties with Meryl Streep-ish lady sitting next to me on plane who basically says "life is a crap-shoot" and that I need to get my act together-Age 42

-Borrow cute surfer guys phone to call boyfriend to ask when he is picking me up-age 14

-Give boyfriend souvenirs: spices to make me dinner with, hot sauce to put on my omelets, and a bootlegged CD of Soca music-Age 19


-Family brunch, football is the main topic of conversation, I cant keep up: Age 13

-I cant stop thinking about the eggs, brownies, and PBR consumed as I tried to eat like a 21 year old boy all weekend, so I go to the gym- Age 25

-Drink coffee and read the Times- Age 35

-Holly finally returns from her vacation and we both cry a little because we are so excited- Age 14

-We realize that though we woke up and got dressed in different countries, our ESP was working and we are wearing matching outfits, squeal and jump up and down- Age 9

-Holly shows the presents she got for the roommates, Rum, Rum Cake, Mint Chocolate Vodka, coconut oil and a crab magnet with moving legs- Age 28

-We test drive the mint chocolate vodka (over ice) then decide we should go to Union Hall (they have fire places!), play bacce and drink beer- Age 21

-Our first EVER game of bacce we cream our competition, we make them bow to us and buy us a beer- Age 21

-We sit together by the fire and cant stop talking about how much we missed eachother, we keep hugging and making everyone else uncomfortable- Age 16

Our age after a weekend of families and reunions clocks in at 20.8 years old, Holly's obsession with sunscreen could not make up for Paige spitting out wet walnuts, and the collective squealing regarding matching outfits certainly can account for a chunk of this immaturity. But since Paige turned 24 over break, and a Merryl Streep-a-like told Holly to get her act together, we're projecting that 2010 could see a gradual aging of the maturity index. Or we're at least hoping to be over 17.

Forever your Girls,

Paige and Holly