Thursday, October 29, 2009

Halloween Predictions

We know we disappointed all of our followers and my sister yesterday with no Hump Day post. However, the most disappointed of all was us in ourselves. We apologize. We would like to say this will never happen again, but it definitely will. Since everyone is definitely so over Hump Day and is instead swapping Halloween costume tips with their coworkers ("oh yeah hot wax will for sure make those vampire teeth stay put," or "I don't know about lime green for Madonna, it's just more Cyndi Lauper, you understand").
So to get everyone even more excited for this kid-friendly and adult-friendlier holiday we want you to know you will get the coolest Halloween post of your life next week. We prom prom promise. What should you expect? Here are some of our Halloween predictions; let's see how right (or wrong) we are next week.

Tonight is my work Halloween party. Just a heads up this is exactly the same as our Christmas party last year (same amount of booze bought, same bar, same catering). Just this year our office "big boned" funny guy won't be the only one dressed up as a (kids cover your eyes) fictitious yet jolly character. This is what I can expect will go down:
-Bathroom bonding with female coworkers while we oggle over each others bejewelled devil ears and eyes roll as I put a giant bow in my hair
-my boss will buy me x amount of tequila
-I will get into a serious conversation with one or more coworkers about how much I love them (no really, YOU are so great).
-I will dance by myself

Tomorrow is our Halloween parade at work, which I didn't attend last year because I was already the only one on our floor dressed up (as Blair from "Gossip Girl", good excuse to be texting all day). Tomorrow night we are going to Paige's open bar work party in Meatpacking. This had an oyster bar last time...
-once all of the good candy that is put (per gratis) out on our floor is gone I will sneak to other floors in search of Three Musketeer-like candy
-I will dress up for work but will forgo the parade as I heard there will be a photographer and I am an awkward poser when I'm not with my sister, Marena (we are naturals together).

-At Paige's work party we will get overly-friendly with the bartenders, because they were so cute last time and because you get to know people better the more you spend time with them, and they are bartenders so...
-someone will lose their phone
-the party is over at 9, by which time we will be drunk and though we vowed to take the subway home, someone will pony up cash for a cab.

Saturday night we are pretty positive we are going to some "secret club" at The Rivington.
-We will wake up and drink semi-drinkable coffee and watch Degrassi
-somebody, probably Chrissy, will go to the gym
-We (by we I mean Kristy) will finish putting black spots on our costumes
-We will say, "let's take a nap after this hard day", and then sit on the couch watching Lifetime movies getting into considerable arguments over who done it, or if it's believable a girl would kill her mother to sleep with her stepfather.
Actual Lifetime Schedule that we will no doubt be watching:

3:00 pm
The Secret
Hannah and Benjamin (Lili Taylor and David Duchovny) are a happily married couple whose love is tested in ways they never could have imagined. When Hannah and their teenage daughter Samantha (Olivia Thirlby) are in a horrific car accident, the strong bond of husband and wife may be responsible for an unusual twist of fate that keeps their love alive -- at the expense of Samantha.
5:00 pm
A jilted ex girlfriend has a plan in store for her ex beau who is coming back to their small town with his new love. For more on "Homecoming," click here.
7:00 pm
Wind Chill
A young college woman (Emily Blunt) gets a ride home for Christmas break with a stranger (Ashton Holmes) she meets from the college ride board. The two race to beat a winter storm, taking a shortcut through a remote area. They find themselves in snow bank and a mysterious vehicle has them in a terrible game of chicken.
We have already seen The Secret but will watch again because it's awesome (obviously, because in lifetime terms an "unusual twist" isn't a faulty prosthetic leg, it's more like Olivia and David Duchovny take it to the next level).

-Chrissy will actually nap while the intensity of Lifetime movies will actually make the rest of feel more lively (get it? Life time? Lively? No? That's okay).
-We will pregame for open bar
-Chrissy will dance with the most thuggish guy at the party
-No one will know what the hell our costumes are
-Kristy will fall asleep in the cab home
-Kristy will wake up the next day still dressed as a Dalmatian

Alright this is what we think will happen during the Halloween-spirited events. Course we will let you know how all of this really works out.
Have a happy and safe and wonderful Halloween!

Note that Chrissy and Paige carved this baby last night. Cheshire cat look alike tots. Those teeth!

Maturity Index : Chrissy's Birthday

Growing up, my sister and I were allowed to have a birthday party every other year, as both of my parents claimed neither of them ever had a childhood birthday party so why should we get one every single year? This statement always led me to daydream about what my parents would have been doing on their birthdays, sans party. I always pictured my mother ironing Catholic school blouses wearing a tiara, while my dad was playing with his sister's dolls and masculinely wearing a cowboy hat. These depressing mental images led me to believe that a party every other year was a sweet deal.

However, after a birthday spent throwing up candy buttons and being in trouble for failing at being "nice" to everyone, I decided to give all of my birthday parties to my younger sister Marena, as we had all of the same friends and there was less pressure to be the perfect, gracious adolescent birthday hostess. Even in childhood I would rather forgo a truckload of presents to gleefully be the reigning limbo champ, year after year.

Unfortunately, at 24 years old (and after some "birthday shots"), my humble hostess skills I learned in childhood deteriorate more quickly than my limbo skills. This years birthday was absolutely no exception and that's all I'm going to say about that. (Paige's Note: Holly lost her phone and her dignity).

Myself aside (because it's not always about me right? Right.) last weekend we celebrated (9 days post-actual birthday) the 23rd birthday of our dear roommate and friend Chrissy. We would like to take this opportunity to hash out Chrissy's birthday events with our Maturity Index:

-Kristy, Paige, and myself all put money in to get Chrissy a gift- Age: 15
-We got her the Vanity Fair Proust Questionnaire Book- Age 38
-And a jewel toned "work out" jacket- Age 30
-And a Robert Pattinson wall calendar- Age 9

-Paige home-made Chrissy a delectable cake- Age 42
-With a vampire baby on it- Age 8
-The inside was dyed red to resemble blood- Age 11
-Before hand there were mass emails sent with ludicrous pictures of babies dressed as vampires- (We don't know anyone else who has ever done this at any age so it just gets the age we are at) Age 24

-We got decently dressy and were taken out for a gourmet meal by my parents- Age 26
-We drank a round of cocktails before my parents showed up- Age 21
-My Dad bought Chrissy a shot of...brandy- Age 70
-Everyone, my Dad included, acted very silly that this was a shot of Brandy and not a lemondrop- Age 21
- My Dad then asked Paige if she would like and aperitif and she said she didn't know what that was- Age 22
-We all had enough cocktails that at the end of the night we were spoon-feeding each other salted caramel ice cream and gave a standing ovation to the hipsters seated near us that played 'Happy Birthday' on an instrument that looked like a bottle of wine- Age 19
-When given her birthday vampire cake later, Chrissy sat on the floor with her head between her legs laughing/crying of excitement- Age 6

-Chrissy had a bunch of close friends and closer (roommates) friends all convene at a speakeasy type bar last Saturday night- Age 25
-We toasted the night with champagne! How classy!- Age 29
-by Champagne we mean Andre- Age 19
-Chrissy called ahead to reserve a table- Age 38
-The table was danced on later- Age 21
-Kristy thought the only guy in the bar wearing a backwards baseball cap was also the cutest guy in the bar- Age 14
-Paige played with a wand, Chrissy wore a tiara, I was a major lap-sitter, and Kristy fell asleep on the way home- Age 4
- Lots of screaming and yelling was involved when someone new showed up- Age 15

-We recovered the next day by shopping and coming home with...mood rings- Age 8

Do Proust, brandy, and table reservations make up for Twilight superstars, Andre, and table dancing?

It would appear so, as our Maturity Index reveals that we celebrate birthdays with the maturity of a 22.29 year old!

Note that on my 22nd birthday, in front of my ex-boyfriend, I let everyone all night know that I was single, and I somehow said "SIN-GUL" in two syllables to make it extra annoying.

Thanks to all of you who helped make Chrissy's birthday so freakin' great. We love her.
Yours Truly Forever,

Friday, October 23, 2009

Our First Post About Fatal Animal Attacks

A few days ago, after much heated discussion (emailing at "work") about Halloween and all things related (there are many) we decided we need to recognize the effort we put into this particular holiday.

Similar to favorite Christian holidays, such as Easter and Christmas, this non-denominational holiday has a number of components involved leading up to October 31st. Right? What would Halloween be without a night of pumpkin carving and rum drinking (knife safety at its best, obviously). Or without hours upon hours of awkward, slightly coercive emails making suggestions (threats?) about what we will and will not dress up as. So we decided, much like the 12 days of Christmas, that we would create a nice little Halloween countdown.

I procrastinated (okay, procrastinating doing blog writing on top of procrastinating"working" is pretty serious...) and decided if I was going to double procrastinate I should at least be on CNN instead of looking at fashiontoast or something. So I procrastinated (third times a charm) reading articles about Afghanistan and instead immediately clicked on "Ice Skating Bear Kills Russian Circus Hand". Who wouldn't? The irony!
So instead of a festive Halloween countdown, I think we need to pay tribute to this hell of a story, as well as the events that followed.

Please click on the CNN link and read this. It's a little graphic, a little sad, and also helps explain why the Russians put so many poor monkeys on the moon.

After reading this article I immediately emailed to Paige, asking her if she thought it was weird that this story made me think of her immediately.

This is how Paige replied:

hell no that's not weird, of course i love that. here are some pictures of skating bears and other things i love

This is pretty great. But wait it get's better:

Email from Paige:

what do you think the demographic is for people who google "Unicorn City"?

This a good question. I suppose if you were to average out the age's, Paige's ripe 23 would up the average...although dare we include the ages of Dungeons and Dragons fans?
And then this came into my work inbox from Paige's work outbox:

To which I replied:

How badly do you want to be that man? You would have it all. A patriotic unicorn lover, a great tan, AND an authentic-looking pina colada...

About 12 emails later we moved on from rebellious skating bears and pictures of what is probably a man/unicorn honeymoon. Quite the frisky Friday. And it's just the start of the weekend.

We want to wish everyone a great weekend-before-Halloween-weekend. Watch the spiked cider while pumpkin carving. Call us if you find It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown on television this week. May your costume searching, face paint practicing, and re-buying-Halloween-candy-because-you-already-ate-the-KitKats-for-trick-or-treaters be filled with warmth and joy.

P.S. Please, send us tips about other fatal animal attacks so we can all find out.

P.S. Our roommate Kristy just informed me via BBM that she is watching Aquamarine starring JoJo. We had to include the link to the trailer.

Forever Your Girl,


Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Hump Day Inspiration

At Least You Aren't The Parent of Any of These "Children"

I generally hate Halloween. For me it has always stood for things I don't like; the color orange, being afraid, wearing masks, children eating a crapload of candy and being even more obnoxious than they already are, being cold, crowds, I could go on. But between fretting about Halloween in general, and the WWIII that almost consumed our household while trying to decide on a cute-but-not-slutty-costume-idea-for-four-girls, I discovered something more frightful than any "Saw" movie and stumbled upon a group of people I feel even sorrier for than Tracy Anderson: the parents of the little girls who are dressing like mini-sluts for this cherished holiday.

Last week when Holly's parents were in town they took all out to dinner (how great!) and asked each of us what our favorite childhood costume was.
Holly's was Pippi Longstockings, Kristy's was a sock-hop attendee in a pink poodle skirt her mom made her, mine was a "china doll", sure it may have been slightly racially insensitive but at least my torso was covered, and Chrissy was a crayon for godsakes. Now, years later we all turned out to be functioning, well-adjusted adults with nary a horrifying aversion to candy or men. I hope someday the same can be said for these misguided little girls.

Not to be all "what is this world coming to", but seriously. What is up with these girls parents?

"Oh, Dakota! That pirate hooker costume is PRECIOUS! I love it, seriously I don't know why they woudln't let you wear that in the 3rd grade class parade today? It couldn't have anything to do with the crop top and abundance of fishnet."
"Tiffany! You look so cute in your 'Death Cheerleader' costume! I'm sorry about before when I poked your eye with my giant black eyeliner crayon, but I think we really did achieve the Beyonce 'single ladies' look we were going for! Okay, go make mommy proud!"

"Britney, I am so happy that you decided to dress as your namesake this year. Your snakeskin pants look a little big though, its so strange that they don't make snakeskin pants in smaller sizes, I'd love to get some for your toddler sister."

Ugh, maybe I'm just jealous because I couldn't pull something off that is this scandalous, or maybe because I have agreed to dress as Cadpig from 101 Dalmatians this year (thats right, I'm 23 and will be dressing as a cartoon DOG). But I think maybe I'm just sad because these girls are going to have a hard time turning into normal people if they are throwing all their aces in now. And by normal I mean this, obvioulsy...

Forever Your Girl,

Electric Feel

Thanks for the new shoes mom! Why get something warm, practical, and black when you can get something ridiculous, semi-uncomfortable, and bedazzled?

Growing up, there were countless times my mother told me to, "Get with the program". I forget my keys all the time. My sister, who is still in college, is the "established one" while I am still "figuring out what the hell I'm doing".
Why have eggs for breakfast when one could have Tropical Skittles? My phone has "jumped" out of my purse so many times At&T has dropped my insurance. Last weekend when shopping with my mother, I opted for "must have" sparkly, bejeweled flats instead of a practical black fitted jacket. I am unsure of the exact ages of my parents, and have botched which grade my kid sister is in a couple of times.
So, as far as 24 year-olds go, I am, at best, immature. So how my name wound up on our cable and electric bill is a mystery to my entire girlfriendship family. That said, it's a dirty job making your beloved roommates cough up their share of the bills once a month and today was one of those days. "Payday" in the sense that I sent out a "Happy Wednesday" email with what our monthly costs are divided by 4.
There are usually varied amounts because someone usually owes someone an undisclosed amount for "that time you spotted me for thai food" or something similar. One time Paige owed me for LAMB bag and I was paid in full with a neat stack of 50's and 20's. It was pretty badass.
After sending my happy email today Paige replied with:

kk will write you a big fat check for $64.13. gah!
happy haloween!!

Gah because she owed me an extra $20 for a floppy hat and some orchid colored Havianas (we got matching ones! How cute!) that I bought for her.

I have no qualms writing ConEdison a phat check and happily licking the envelope with love. However, there is a an awkward sense of remorse when friends know they are $64.13 poorer than they used to be. I could have consoled Paige with a, "no worries! Pay when you can!" or a complimentary bag of salted cashews later. Instead I decided to let her, as well as our other live-ins, know about all the happiness and, er, entertainment this $64.13 have brought us.

-I rarely blow dry my hair for personal reasons, however think of all the lovely homemade blowouts you girls get?
-the panini maker (Paige, need I remind everyone of how awesome the two (2!) ham and cheese sandwiches were 2 days ago?)
-our Ipod speaker dock thingy, sure it doesn't work that great, but would our lives be the same without my awesome (atrocious) weekend playlists that cover everything from Semisonic to Lisa Loeb?
-Kristy's angel curls courtesy of numerous curling irons

-Facebook stalking just won't be on the same level if we were stealing internet and didn't get as great a connection
-looking at the personals on Craigslist is such a great way to pass the time, and who knows, maybe one day one of us will get the guts to reply to one.
-watching movie trailers on Paige's new computer. Our witty banter about actually seeing movies such as "Fame", "Sorority Row" (it's Audrina! She's dead!), and, of course, the movie with the cannibalistic infant entitled "
-looking at ex-boyfriends on Facebook and finding out that they are either married, engaged, or exactly the same but fatter. (Priceless?)

Digital Cable:
-being able to re-watch Don Draper on Demand, swoon.
-Degrassi marathons! The one's that are actually televised as marathons and the ones where we just On Demand our own.
-all of our Award Show "parties", which is really just an excuse for us to eat what is pictured here:

-Seeing what happens in the "Bass Cave" every week on Gossip Girl
-the laughter that exudes from Kristy watching really, really, reeaallyyy bad sitcoms.
-Teresa Prostitution-WHORE's
table flipping scene from Real Housewives of New Jersey...aka: my and Paige's version of porn.

So, lady roommates, this is why I need your $$$. Be happy about writing me this check, it buys you something better than a new negligee or J.Crew beaded headband. Your electric/cable/Internet check buys you something better than what can be held in your hand: love, family closeness, and Chrissy passed out in front of The Hills.

Forever Your Girl,


p.s. Paige and I are experimenting with technology and if you click on the GRAY links above you will get smarter.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Hump Day Inspiration

So, ugh... the week is only halfway over but at least you aren't...Tracey Anderson, Madonna's former personal trainer...key word being former.
So you are sitting at your desk, disliking your "job", drinking a pumpkin spice latte and your boss is asking you to get her a second chocolate croissant, and she didn't even offer to share the first. At least YOU aren't Tracey Anderson. She just lost her job, is starving (we doubt she is the emotional eating type), and doesn't get to hang out with the coolest person on the planet anymore. 

So you're sad that your boyfriend broke up with you? At least your boyfriend isn't Madonna. In fact, Madonna could probably beat up your boyfriend and his dad, blindfolded.

Upset that you are fueding with your best friend? At least you aren't fighting with Madonna. She probably has the power to give a nasty look that would induce a charlie horse in her victim.

As bad as we feel for Mrs. Anderson, we are excited about this. We miss the old Madonna that was able to roll around a stage in pearls and lace, where as this current Madonna is too square to roll, literally and symbolically. We think Madonna will have more time for fun things now that she isn't working on her triceps all the time. Perhaps she'll write another children's book?Make the whole world jealous of another couple Malawian children? Dump her lame and creepy looking douche boyfriend? 

Madonna, wherever you are, we commend you for firing Tracy Anderson. We don't like to think of ANYONE telling you what to do, especially if it involves your ass muscles. Madonna, eat some cheeseburgers, or lie around watching New Moon trailers. Hell, go drink a margarita (sans Tracy Anderson). Tracey Anderson can go make pot roast with Gwyneth.

Tracey Anderson's Madonna:


And just a little reminder about some of Madonna's past female relationships...and we all know how this not-so-better-half turned out...


Today is the 23rd birthday of one of our beloved roommates/best friends/dance partners!

Who is this Chrissy? Well let's get to know her better shall we?

Chrissy enjoys carbs, Persian men, babies (even ugly ones!), Macaroni and Cheese (Kraft , preferably Spiderman shapes), Ivanka Trump, jewel tones, LCD Soundsystem (on repeat), dancing on tables, and doing the dishes (well, we like to tell ourselves she likes this little chore to make ourselves feel better about filing our nails while she is scrubbing away).

Chrissy is the youngest, and so therefore we all have some beloved birthday advice for her:

You could probably stand to get a little bit drunker when we go out so I don't feel so crunkered all the time. Have a great year, and let's just do everything we can to make it possible that we are together for many more birthdays. May you have ANOTHER year with the same phone, although it's starting to make me look bad...I love you!
Very Truly Yours,


Even though you are six inches taller then me, have a "real job" (and by real job, I mean one the offers things like benefits), and don't wear sweatshirts everyday, I'm still 1.5 years older then you and therefore it's warranted that I give u a slew of "mature" advice for the big 2 3...

#1. food- kid food such as mac and cheese from a box or canned ravioli are mouth-watering, but now that your older...add some veggies to your processed food! Baby carrots perhaps? Maybe some garden peas? I don't think we will have to actually cook until we are in our mid-30s

#2. Fashion- as roommies we love to hike up our skirts and buy extra low cut shirts, especially to inappropriate places like work. Now that you are a year older I'm going to give the advice to keep on doing it! Until we've all successfully landed a man, there is no reason we shouldn't dress like whores...everywhere

#3. Fun- my last piece of advice is of course the most important...have fun! We live in the best city ever, without any real worries except maybe how rent will be paid. Drink your face off, dance with babies, sing 80s music (compliments to hols ipod), and enjoy it! I know that I will always look back on these few precious years that I lived with 3 amazing girls! I'm soo glad you came to live with us, my life would be considerably more boring without your bbms all day long and my winters colder if I didn't have u snuggling by my side!

Love love,

When I first met you, you had braces, American Eagle jeans and a childlike sense of wonder. And now look at you! I am so glad that we get to spend some of the best years of our lives together. You are and amazing friend, drinking buddy, dance partner, date, mac n' cheese maker, workout instigator, spooner, listener, and future PR mogul. As for advice? I'd just pass along what my dad always tells me- live in the moment, don't worry about the future or dwell on the past. We will never have more fun then we are having right now! I love you so much!

Forever Your Girl,

Monday, October 12, 2009

Because We Know You Have Been Dying to Know This About Us...
Paige and myself are admittedly obsessed with New York Magazine's blogs. From the latest Snuggie news to Mad Men recaps to where Chace Crawford was spotted recently, we love it all. We especially love the New Yorkish questionnaire's posted that feature sorta famous or decently successful New Yorkers. As Paige and I haven't been "famous" since our high school glory days and consider our greatest success to be that we had more than $20 left over after rent was paid last month, we don't see ourselves being featured any time soon. But if we were this is what we would say.

Name: Hollyn McManus (HM) and Paige Tibbetts (PT)
Age: 24 (HM) 23 (PT)
Neighborhood: Prospect Heights
Occupation: Sales Assistant (HM) Sales Executive (PT) Bloggers. (HMPT)

Who's your favorite New Yorker, living or dead, real or fictional?
HM:Joyce Carol Diesel
PT: Eloise, Eric Van derWoodsen, Steven Sadoff. Best of all worlds.

What's the best meal you've eaten in New York?
HM:Lobster Ravioli at Wombat in Willyburg with my family and my best friends.
PT: That rav was killer, rivaled only by sea urchin at Le Bernadin. I also really dig the porridge from the Jamaican food cart outside of the MoMA

In one sentence, what do you actually do all day in your job?
HM:Entertain my boss.
PT: Send Holly pictures of unicorns.

Would you still live here on a $35,000 salary?
PT: Umm, I'd kill for a $35k salary.
HM: Ditto

What's the last thing you saw on Broadway?
HM: West Side Story, in the "obstructed view" section.
PT: The Producers, like, 5 years ago.

Do you give money to panhandlers?
HM:Only the 14 yr old's who dance to the Black Eyed Peas on trains and basically risk their lives doing back flips on the train just to make a couple bucks.
PT: I ask them for money.

What's your drink?
HM:When I drinking in the comfort of my own home (or alone) cheap vodka and Crystal Light. If I am in public it's usually a dirty martini, straight up, no vodka preference (house).
PT: Gin and Tonic or Prosecco. But lets get real, I'll drink anything.

How often do you prepare your own meals?
HM:Does opening a can of tomato soup count as prepare?
PT: I lurve cooking. Probably like 4 nights a week. Last night the whole house smelled like a parking lot tailgate party.

What's your favorite medication?
HM:Does Thai takeout count? Or black licorice? Sour Skittles?
PT: Crystal meth or, scratch that, it's tea tree oil.

What's hanging above your sofa?
HM: Nothing. But that's a work in progress.
PT: Nothing. But its exposed brick!

How much is too much to spend on a haircut?
HM: Well if Ping Pong, the woman who last cut my hair, is doing the cutting, then you really shouldn't pair more than you do for a gourmet sandwich.
PT: That's the only extravagance I have left in my life (see salary question above) but if you're paying over $200 you're being ripped off.

When's bedtime?
HM: When Paige tells me to come hither. Or after Mad Men/Gossip Girl.
PT: When I figure out that I've already seen the Degrassi episode I'm watching on "Teen Nick".

Which do you prefer, the old Times Square or the new Times Square?
HM: I shouldn't answer this as I don't really have a clue about the old.
PT: I'm pretty sure I'd hate Times Square no matter what era.

What do you think of Donald Trump?
HM: He has twinkly eyes, like Santa Claus, or Madonna.
PT: I really try not to think about him.

What do you hate most about living in New York?
PT: Slow walkers, but that's not exclusive to New York, but they do really get my goat.
HM: That my mom, dad, and two kid sisters don't live here.

Who is your mortal enemy?
PT: Slow walkers. I'm telling you.
HM:The inventor of the five day work week.

When's the last time you drove a car?
PT: Probably two months ago. I miss it.
HM: I drove "my" car from home over Labor Day. You know it's been a while when all of my mixed CD's from high school boyfriends have been replaced by my Dad's Theolonious Monk and Steely Dan.

How has the Wall Street crash affected you?
PT: I mean, it made it kinda chic to be poor so that's a silver lining for us. But It kind of cast a dark shadow over everyone which was a bummer, but in the end I think that kind of thing brings solidarity. I'm obviously not a good person to talk to about this.
HM: It's really not that big of a deal to go out with someone who is unemployed. Going out with a guy who is unemployed is like going out with a guy who doesn't have twin beagle puppies as pets. Not a biggie.

Where do you go to be alone?
PT: Elliptical machine at Park Slope Crunch.
HM: Our half-bathroom that's in my "room" in our apartment. My room has a staircase instead of a door, so the option of shutting the door in my little bathroom is nice.

What makes someone a New Yorker?
HM: Having interpersonal intelligence, and lots of it.
PT: Knowing that if you left, you wouldn't be who you are anymore.
We encourage you to check out the responses from some slightly more successful New Yorkers:
Answer some of these yourself and let us know!

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Hump Day! Our Wednesday post to get you through the rest of the week. So here it is. At least your aren't.....this guy:

Two summers ago, Paige, Kristy, Chrissy, my ex, Paige's bf, and a slew of overlapping guests lived in a glorified one bedroom in Williamsburg (errr no, make that Bushwick). We had no privacy, no chairs, and certainly no television. So instead of discussing our life goals or writing letters to our grandmothers we spent hour upon hour using stolen WiFi to search the Craigslist Strictly Platonic Personals. We found these aptly titled personals to be incredibly interesting (sorry, life goals) and we all openly found people we would seriously want to get in touch with (sorry Grandma!).

As I was in a good mood today I found it difficult thinking of people that evoked loads of sympathy. The child standing next to the kid Madonna adopted? Someone with a phobia of social networking? Tripp Palin? Someone who regrets joining the Peace Corps and is only 2 weeks in? The schizophrenic guy in a Nebraskan psych ward my nursing student sister is supposedly taking care of?

None of this was inspiring any sadness (let's just say Kristy made tacos for dinner last night and I'm still kinda happy about it).

So I went back to what really inspires me. My relationship (strictly platonic) with Craigslist's personals. These are desperate people who are pretending to want a platonic relationship. Not only are they admitting to not having many friends, they are also obviosly looking for something more than friendly but are too scared to admit it. Who to choose? The Lonely Virgin? The Homely Homegirl?

After some seriously strange looks from peeping coworkers I decided on "Nothing Interesting Here". His admittance to lack of having anything interesting is...interesting. Self-degradation at its best, my friends. So check him out! And give him a call, but only if you are, and were born 100% woman. Maybe you could find out what is behind those velvet curtains? Or find out the difference between a professional hooker and a hooker? Or how many points you get for asking what he keeps in that nifty little zipper on his arm? A snack? A favorite poem perhaps?
Please, feel better about your life, sexual tolerance, and curtains after reading this, and as usual, have a happy Hump Day.

nothing interesting here.. - m4w (Battery Park)
Date: 2009-10-03, 10:56PM EDT
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...and then again, maybe is

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Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Adventures in Eating: The 35th Annual Atlantic Antic

Webster's Dictionary defines "Antic" as follows:

antic[an-tik] a playful trick or prank; caper. a grotesque, fantastic, or ludicrous gesture, act, or posture.

And boy, does that sum it up for us. Never ones to shy away from anything playful, tricky, or caper-esque, we were thrilled when we read that Sunday, October 4th would be the 35thannual Atlantic ANTIC taking place on our very own Atlantic Avenue in majestic Brooklyn. All week long we crossed our fingers and we refreshed in hopes that the 11238 zip code would see sun for this outdoor festival. And as luck would have it the weather was perfect and the experience was just as grotesque, fantastic and ludicrous as one could hope.

Follow along as I take you along the mile-long stretch of Atlantic Avenue where Holly and I, along with kitten-loving Kristy, shoved our faces with so much food it was almost embarrassing.


On and even TIGHTER budget than usual I decided that my Sunday Funday on Atlantic should not exceed $20, so enroute to the festival stopped at a sketchy bodega (that had an uncanny selection of Sourpatch flavors) to withdraw a trusty Andrew Jackson that I hoped would cover the costs of all meat by-products I’d soon be consuming.


To kick off the consumption-spree Holly thought shed stop and Dunkin Donuts for an extra large coffee with tons of Splenda… okay. Then, turning the corner onto the avenue we were welcomed with the sight of innumerable Brooklynites engaging in activities that ranged from Go-Go Dancing to gospel singing. 

Not usually being a big fan of crowds I braced myself for some serious neighborly shoulder-rubbing, but my apprehension was overridden by the cheerful sight of $3 FRIENDSHIP BRACELETS. OMG. Lets not even get into where this would fall on the Maturity Index, but Holly, Kristy and I all HAD to have one, so now we do.


Our wrists tied with colorful yarn we turned our attention to the greater goal, filling our mouths. I spotted people toting around literal BUCKETS filled with what looked like lime-aid or similar and decided that, being what was sure to be one of the last warm days of the year, I too needed a lime bucket for $3 (pictured at top).


No sooner had the delicious sugary lime water touched my tongue than I turned to find H and K lining up for grilled corn (a Brighton Beach favorite) “Paige, they have JALEPENO BUTTER!” H cried across the crowd. Say no more! We had the corn man load up our “snack” with Jalepeno butter AND normal butter for good measure, tons of salt and parmesan cheese, a perfect “light snack” we all agreed. $3 Light Snack of Corn.


Now that we had beverages, appetizers and friendship under control we decided to peruse our “main course” options while taking in the scenery. Along the way we also did good things for the community, like sign a petition to keep PS 20 in the Red Hook public school system! We felt good about our selfless gesture and decided it was time for a treat, Kettle Corn it is!  We sampled the Kettle Corn of a kindly, albeit slightly creepy older gentlemen sitting in a lawn chair and referring to us as “little girls” as in “COME TRY MY KETTLE CORN LITTLE GIRLS”. It was delicious, and he was wearing a Korean War Vet hat, and we mused that he was probably friends with Don Draper, nee Dick Whitman, while serving.


All this snacking really had us working up and appetite, for things like meat and cake. Always fearless, Holly threw swine-flu caution to the wind, ordering a pulled pork burger on a pretzel bun (with pickle) for $5, being team players K and I both took bites to ensure solidarity should one of us fall ill.

 We were not disappointed. I myself opted for a bratwurst, it was mostly delicious minus the fact that I though I liked sourcraut and in fact, I do not. Sans-crout I’m sure it would have been a slam-dunk with nothing but net. At least it was only $4. Shirking the meat trend, K opted for a cupcake that easily measured 5 inches in height. Okay lets face it, it was a full-on cake, not a wimpy cupcake, sprinkles and all. $4 “cup”cake.


I bet you could guess how we were feeling at this point, we reached the end of the street, gazed out over the east river towards Manhattan and thought to ourselves, “isn’t there a pickle festival going on on the Lower East Side?”


I mean, at theis point I’d only spent $13 of my allotted $20, and $3 of that was on a new accessory!


The subways between Manhattan and Brooklyn can be a bit “antic-esque” on the weekend, really tricky and always grotesque, but miraculously we were still hungry. And K was “really in the mood for some dill”. Braving the eff-ed up trains we made out way to the Lower East Side just before the end of the pickle festival. They pretty much had pickeled-everything, but we played it safe with some “pickles-on-a-stick”, accidentally butting in a line that wrapped around the boarder of the parking lot. Oops. $1 Picklestick.


And since pickles weren’t quite adventurous enough we sampled some mango chutney on matzoh bread. Mistake.


Simply DYING to get the taste of salty, funky chutney out of our mouths we decided to cleanse our palates (and spend the remainder of our Jackson) with pay-what-it-ways fro-yo at our trusty Yogurtland on Bleeker St. Knowing that I only had $6 left, and that I usually end up spending around $10 (the toppings really get ya) I had to really watch myself. My treat totaled to $5.87. perfection.


After a day of adventure-eating H, K and I congratulated ourselves, sitting together on the steps of some lucky persons West Village brownstone.  Our legs ached, our stomach lining was tested and our jaws creaked from excessive chewing. And after a day of bi-borough wandering we decided to call it a night. 

And by that I mean it was dinner time and we each and our own Bahn Mi. 

For your viewing pleasure: The apex of Kelly Killoren Bensimon's career. "Gyro Girl" 

Forever your girl,


Monday, October 5, 2009

Weekend Recap: The Maturity Index

Hey-yo this is the first of what will be a weekly post on the weekend happenings. Last weekend was fabulously foggy, but let's drudge up what we can shall we?

I started our Friday at Stone Street to meet up with some friends from my days as a camp counselor in Minnesota. Kristy, Minnesota chums, and I all met up with Paige later at a Belgian Bar type deal and then gave my friends a place to crash that night. This night was filled with Minnesota accents FYI:

-Meeting up with old friends, making an effort to keep in touch with people: Age 29

-Calling an ex-boyfriend that was mutual friend and asking him how jealous he's not the one I am hanging out with: Age 16

-Trying a new brew! Delirium beer so good!: Age 23

-This beer is 10% booze: Age 21

-Beer is served in glass, highly breakable mugs that are not meant for children so...: Age 21

-Put breakable mugs in bag and steal them because they have pink elephants all over cute!: Age 9

Saturday was kinda weird, and it kept getting weirder. Well we really embraced the rainy weather, that meant no Degrassi, no Lifetime movies, we got out and really did something. So here it goes:

Went running AND to kickboxing: Age 25

Had oatmeal for breakfast: Age 65

Went to the store and purchased organic tomato juice: Age 47

  Used this organic purchase to make bloody mary's: Age 29

  With $14.00 (Georgi) vodka: Age 20

At around noon: Age...err...this has been happening more and more often so 24

Wore LBD: Age 30

  with wellies and a plastic pink barrette: Age 4

Went to trendy music hall venue: Age 23

  at 4pm on a Saturday, and played with kittens instead of listening to music:Age 6

  kept dropping tender kittens: age 4

talked excitedly with Kristy and Paige and crush about adopting kittens (we had our eye on a mischievous calico): age 9

  use term "crush": age 12

Sat on crush's lap, and willingly shared my Hoegaarden draft: Age 25

  To crush's annoyance, Paige took about 30+ pics of such a momentous bonding experience: Age 13

  Camera that was used to take these "adorable" pictures with is pink and shiny: Age 14

  Camera's nickname is "Candy Cam!" (exclamation included, always): Age 3

Did Beyonce's "Single Ladies" dance in backseat of "the Metro" with Kristy and Paige in front of crush: Age 20

  All three of us knew the dance, all of the chorus, but trailed off after the lyrics, "up in the club..." of the first verse: Age 18

Hung out at rooftop get-together, being sociable and taking spontaneous bathroom breaks with Paige in tow: Age 19

Took pictures making funny faces in the bathroom: Age 15

Called Paige's boyfriend with Paige to let him know she was coming over: Age 26

Screamed "no!", "liar!", "you are lying!" when he told us it was only 7:30pm: Age 20

Had pizza dinner: Age 21

  Paige snuck off to have a secret slice later on: Age 23

This was slightly after she broke her (Stevens old) phone (what happened to it! well at least the phone was already missing the battery cover): Age 24 (we are making this 24 because this is something I, being 24, have done almost as frequently)

Hugged Paige at end of the night telling her everything was going to be okay: Age 32

  This went down in front of our favorite Pinkberry which we both found important to take note of: Age 15

Told crush my nail color was called "Twilight": Age 14

  Was shocked (!) when crush had not seen this teenage vampire flick and urged him to see it sometime: Age 14

Had drama queen moment in wellies and dress and barrette pouting about God Knows What right before bed time: Age 7

All in all this weekend was more mature than we thought. Our average age comes to 20 on the dot. The oatmeal really helped, and that damned pink barrette is, thank god, now gone forever, yet is basically immortalized in the "adorable" pictures seen here. Next weekend will be Paige's High School five year reunion. Attending a class reunion already deserves some maturity points, but god knows if Paige is going to be going to a class reunion she will be having something that resembles more of a tequila sunrise than a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast.

***NOTE: We realize that indeed Sunday is part of the weekend, we just had a such an adventurous Sunday though that we are giving Sunday, October 4Th its very own post. Just so ya know...

Very Truly Yours,


Party Metro.
This sorta sums it all up.
This picture is fuzzy, and so is symbolic of this great Saturday.

Poor kid.