P.L.D.

So it's Friday, there was no "Hump Day" post this week, and no other mid-week inspiration appeared on our precious blog. Nothing we thought of seemed super awesome, so I needed to find something more inspiring than CNN.com and the "New Moon" frenzy, so I called my kid sister, Marena.

Here are a few things you should know about Marena: she is in nursing school in Lincoln, NE, she has the world's greatest head of hair, and at family get-togethers such as Christenings, Easter brunches, weddings, and funerals, she can be found with with a beer in hand. Growing up my mother would say that if we fell on hard times, we could put Marena on a soap box with a hat in front of her, have her tell jokes, and we would all thrive from my humorous prodigy sibling. So not only could Marena run faster, jump higher, and was noticeably kinder to animals, she was also funnier. But it's not like I'm bitter or anything.

Marena is the genius behind the idea of wearing out a fanny pack to bars to better-facilitate double-fisting. This is no joke. Marena has been tagged in many Facebook pictures wearing her red Nebraska hoodies, aviators, a fannypack, and 2 beers, whilst posing in a campy-like manner.
So today I called Marena in hopes of some Natty-Ice fueled genius:
Marena answers the phone. Sorta. It's more like, "Ugghhhloo".
"Oh, sorry Rena, you sleeping?"
"What do you want?"
"No, nothing, I will call you back."
"Holly, come watch Erin Brokovitch with me under two blankets and a Snuggie and bring Jason Schwartzman." (note: to Marena's defense, last night she was drunk texting some guy and then FB stalked him later to see the gut-wrenching away status, "I got into Med school!").
"So..."
"Holls. I made a PLD last night."
"A what? You made a potty? How so? Out of paper mache perhaps?"
"No. A PLD."
"I don't get it."
"A Poor Life Decision. A PLD. I got drunk and ate a taco two blocks away from where I was drinking."
"Alone? Just one taco? Are you sure it was two blocks?"
"No I wasn't alone I was with my friends, you dumbass."

This made me think. Yes, THIS CONVERSATION stimulated thinking.

The world has been graced with, thanks to textin' tweens and Blair Waldorf, the oft used acronyms OMG, and the more scandalous, OMFG. There if FML, and my favorite to say to Paige, FYL (Y is for "your", obvi). But PLD is catchy, non-offensive shorthand and Nebraska should be proud to have it.

In thinking about this new acronym I can't help but reminisce all of the PLD's I have made, oh and I'm sure Paige has a PLD or two or two thousand as well (both of our most recent birthday, er, celebrations come to mind).

Paige was so kind as to pick out a few pictures that demonstrate some of our greatest PLD moments. In our defense, most of these were taken when we were barely legal, and therefore please try and forgive legwarmers, ponchos, lapsitting on strange boys/men, etc.

Paige wore a poncho to her high school grad party. PLD.

This is a particularly PLD because there was a lot of "life" involved. As in, this man was old. And in a fedora. PLD

This is almost okay because I happen to be wearing a taupe-colored loose-fitting sweater. Still, swinging on poles, usually a PLD.

I would like to say that I wore this because I was on the way to an 80's party. But it's probably not. And my and Anna's room is a mess. PLD

Sitting on the intersection of 4th St. and 6th Ave. after leaving your fake ID at the bar. PLD.

Lets see, flared jeans and gold kitten heels are usually a PLD on their own, but when you start swinging upside down on the handrails of a moving vehicle, you are really taking it to another level.

Let's not forget that PLD's could happen to anyone. Look at Bill Clinton, or the previous President of the Selena Fan Club. Politicians, house wives, bankers and priests, everyone is entitled to their fair share of PLD's.

Who knows, maybe I will get "overserved" at the adult-like birthday party I'm set to attend tomorrow and fall asleep in a strange room and wake up confused. Or maybe paige Paige will wrestle at a bar again or throw up in a potted plant. Whatever may happen, we are about as far from perfect decision-making skills as we are close in this picture, which is very:

Marena, thanks for your inspiring words this morning (even though I had to hang up on you because as soon as you mentioned magical drinking boots that had anchor-shaped button I knew it was time to say goodbye).

Have a great weekend friends and our Moms!

Forever Your Girl,

Holly

Maturity Index: Weekend Recap

A bird's eye view of last weekend would show decently-behaved, non-violent, well-mannered young ladies. However, as is accessorizing or making really good spaghetti sauce, its the details that count.

Will Paige finally doing laundry make up for the fact that I tripped on the way to the gym while ogling an adorable shitsu? Will my responsible Saturday night at home make up for the fact that Georgia Rule (starring Lindsay Lohan and Jane Fonda) went over my head?
It was a weekend of sports, pubs, and all the Lifetime one can handle, which in our case, is an embarrassingly large amount.
This is last weekend's Maturity Index:

Friday:
-Lost my wallet and starting crying until my mother said she would give me some $ -Age 12
-knew I was slightly taking advantage of my wonderful mother after she admitted to downing 2 bloody's- Age 15
Went out on the Upper East Side with the girls, umbrellas in hand- Age 32
-to a pub that was basically playing "Nelly's Greatest Hits"- Age 15
-Paige and I made up an extremely impromptu dance that was cute yet provocative- Age 17
-We did it over and over again to Country Grammar- Age 16
-it only took about 1/2 a beer to start making fun of everyone's "creative" facial hairstyles and coordinating Affliction t-shirts- Age 20
-We left and found nicest cabbie in the history of New York, who allowed 6 kids into cab and brought to West Village- Age 19
-Walked around sorta lost in rain until Paige got us to the pub, Fiddlesticks - Age 27
-Paige called it Fiddledicks -Age 13
-This bar felt like our freshman year of college at CofC- Age 19
-Because of high levels of fratasticness, low levels of buying our own drinks and the fact that the most stimulating conversation we had all night was with a John Mayer look-alike, regarding how much he looked like John Mayer (we really wish we had a picture of this dead ringer for so many different reasons)- Age 19

Saturday:
-Was forced to brunch in and walk around hipster park in leopard coat, moccasins, and necklace that resembles the one in Titanic- Age 20
-Paige finally did her laundry! Yippie! - Age 30
-Let's not get too excited, she had to do 4 loads because she went about 4 months of watching Degrassi and shopping my underwear drawer to avoid this domestic deed- Age 15
-We watched The Beach, starring Leonardo DiCaprio- Age 22
-We were all literally blushing at the scenes when Leonardo (at the ripe age of 16) is topless- Age 12
-Halfway through this movie we went to get "lunch" which included "healthy" chips, chocolate-covered pretzels, and a Hershey bar- Age 20
-After the exhausting task of watching The Beach, Paige and I kept in "theme" and watched Beaches- Age 56
-While Kristy and Chrissy watched Paul Blart: Mall Cop in Kristys room- Age 13
-I made some truly nasty remarks about Bette Midler's aesthetics mostly just to talk over Kristy and Chrissy's crazy laughter at Mr. Blart- Age 18
-Chrissy and I stayed in, watching Lifetime, watching commercials for anti-wrinkle anything, drinking wine, and hoping we would stay up late enough to watch SNL- Age 52
-Paige went to sophisticated birthday dins- Age 45
-Kristy babysat- Age 14
-We all (sans Kristy but plus two males) died laughing at January Jones pretending to ahem, pass gass, on SNL- Age 9 (although we kept saying how much Paige's mom would like that one and she is just over 40).

Sunday:
-Wake up and do gym-like things- Age 29
-We all head out to a sporting event! How jock-ish of us!- Age 33
-We boozed pretty hard before hand- Age 21
-We bought candy/snacks for train before boozing -Age 9
-Kristy and Chrissy needed ice cream during the soccer game- Age 5
-Paige took photos as as we saw the ice cream truck change locations and watched the girls quickly hurry to new location to ensure ice cream purchase- Age 8

-Paige had to, not unlike Halloween, take a little nap during the game- Age 2
-Had pretty sophisticated brewski's after the game at rooftop bar with the team and other fans-Age 28
-Kristy and Paige were basically wrestling in front of everyone at one point- Age 15
-Because of a BUTT-PUNCHING fight that Paige def started- Age 7
-Paige and I layed on the floor of the bar playing with a beautiful shitsu while sort of singing to it -Age 6
-This inspired us to teach my crush's bestie our cute/provocative dance we came up with Saturday night- Age 12
-The night ended with Paige and I walking hand-in-hand down Washington Ave declaring our love for one another, our deep understanding of each other's souls, and then spooned on the couch with the rest of the girls...fade scene - I feel like this could be any age so no years, just a lovely ending to a youthful weekend.

Despite floor pet-petting and John Mayer gossiping we still proved to be legal adults: Age 19.2.

Forever Your Girl,

Hollyn

Hump Day: Soccer Brutality at It's Best

We, Paige, Holly, and anyone else that lives in or enters our home do not watch sports. Should ESPN flicker into view we switch to anything else as quickly as one would while getting caught watching a dirty L Word episode and our dad walked in. That's the only rule: NO SPORTS. Deadliest Catch, Man vs. Food, infomercials, Wife Swap, Rich Bride Poor Bride are all okay, except Paige has issues with my not-so-secret love for Mythbusters.

So while watching the Kardashian wedding, talking about Gossip Girl threesomes, and mingling in Perez Hilton's website, we came across a clip from a New Mexico women's soccer game and an extreme exception was made.

This clip made us cringe, cover our eyes, and, admittedly, laugh. At first, one feels bad for all of the victims in this game. But after a while it doesn't seem that far off from the Bad Girl's Club or my favorite Mean Girls scene. We can't help but feel bad for this Elizabeth Lambert (can you imagine someone calling this girl 'Bethie'?) She will never be able to tell her kids to be "team players" or punish them for being "bad sports". Her mother is probably banging a frying pan against her head watching the footage. She is being called the most violent soccer player in history, and for a little hair-pulling? I looked up her profile on New Mexico's athletics page and found out this:

PERSONAL
Born Elizabeth Ann Lambert on December 29, 1988 ... enjoys camping and surfing in her spare time ... favorite food is tacos ... is majoring in University Studies with a focus on Occupational Therapy.

I mean, she doesn't seem like anyone we would be BEST friends with, and we would have to watch out for wearing any sort of precocious ponytails. But we could definitely see ourselves enjoying tacos together, hearing about crazy nights she's had in Tijuana, drinking Corona's with lime, watching her put a girl in the ER after a bar fight...
So today's Hump Day goes out to all of you who are feeling bad about being...err...too violent? Or for any of our friends that are being punished for hair-pulling? Feel better about your lives, violent actions, and punching people in the back. At least you aren't Elizabeth Lambert. But if you were, then you would be the biggest bad ass that has ever graced the website of Perez Hilton, Lil Kim and Left Eye included.

Forever Your Girl,
Holly

P.S. An Honorable Hump Day Mention goes out to Paige S. Tibbetts, for having to listen to country music all day. Paige, I had to listen to country music every time I was in Kristy's car, at every high school dance/function/study hall, and I'm pretty sure Lone Star was playing while I had my first kiss...so this is isn't even that honorable. Boom.