Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Hump Day Inspiration

So, ugh... the week is only halfway over but at least you aren't...Tracey Anderson, Madonna's former personal trainer...key word being former.
So you are sitting at your desk, disliking your "job", drinking a pumpkin spice latte and your boss is asking you to get her a second chocolate croissant, and she didn't even offer to share the first. At least YOU aren't Tracey Anderson. She just lost her job, is starving (we doubt she is the emotional eating type), and doesn't get to hang out with the coolest person on the planet anymore. 

So you're sad that your boyfriend broke up with you? At least your boyfriend isn't Madonna. In fact, Madonna could probably beat up your boyfriend and his dad, blindfolded.

Upset that you are fueding with your best friend? At least you aren't fighting with Madonna. She probably has the power to give a nasty look that would induce a charlie horse in her victim.

As bad as we feel for Mrs. Anderson, we are excited about this. We miss the old Madonna that was able to roll around a stage in pearls and lace, where as this current Madonna is too square to roll, literally and symbolically. We think Madonna will have more time for fun things now that she isn't working on her triceps all the time. Perhaps she'll write another children's book?Make the whole world jealous of another couple Malawian children? Dump her lame and creepy looking douche boyfriend? 

Madonna, wherever you are, we commend you for firing Tracy Anderson. We don't like to think of ANYONE telling you what to do, especially if it involves your ass muscles. Madonna, eat some cheeseburgers, or lie around watching New Moon trailers. Hell, go drink a margarita (sans Tracy Anderson). Tracey Anderson can go make pot roast with Gwyneth.

Tracey Anderson's Madonna:


And just a little reminder about some of Madonna's past female relationships...and we all know how this not-so-better-half turned out...

1 comment:

  1. We added links to click on! How technology savy of us!