Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Maturity Index:Flipping Cups and Tipping Canoes

Flipping beer cups and tipping canoes proved to be some of last weekends highlights. What else happened?

-Holly stops at Forever 21 to purchas a backless purple leopard skin blouse-Age 16
-Holly parks herself on the couch to gorge on popcorn and taunts Paige that she will miss the first episode of Bethany Getting Married-Age 16
-Holly somehow persuades Chrissy to stroke her hair that hasn't been washed in 6 days until she falls asleep-Age 13

-Paige finishes up her bizzare pre-Hamptons diet by enjoying her final yam while watching The Real Housewives of New York: Reunion as she waits for Steven to pick her up- Age 24

-On the drive out to the Hamptons Paige and Steven fight over the radio, he pushes for reggae pushes and Paige pushes for Fleetwood Mac- Age 56

-When they arrive to the Bed & Breakfast Paige notes that it resembles the lodging in "Dirty Dancing" and asks the girl at the desk if there's a secret clubhouse in the woods where she can meet the dance instructor. This joke is lost on the college age girl.- Age 35
-Paige and Steven hang out at The Margarita Grille (Steven's ol' stompin' grounds) where at first Paige is nervous meeting all of Steven's childhood friends for the first time, but she quickly bonds with the bartender and all is fine- Age 19
-By the end of the night Paige and two of Steven's friends have taken on the project of "fixing" Paige's busted Haviana by attempting to melt the strap back on fire. Lighting shoes on fire indoors- Age 12

-Holly wakes up early to go running and to cardio Tai boxing with a Caribbean nazi-Age 24
-Holly and Chrissy drink coffee and watch every Justin Bieber video youtube has to offer-Age 9
-They both agree Justine Bieber seems like such a "nice young man"-Age 40
-Holly and Chrissy start drinking the usual (Georgi vodka with off-brand Crystal Light) and start looking for patriotic outfits to go watch the world cup-Age 24
-Chrissy wears a nice gauzy maroon top and Holly dons a red and white striped crop top (which she found out later actually resembles the Puerto Rican flag more, this was okay with her)-Age 16
-The two drink their usual roadie and Chrissy falls on top of the oldest lady that has ever ridden the subway-Age 21
-They finally make it to Mustang Sally's to drink beer and chant "U-S-A"!-Age 24

-After the game Holly decides everyone is going to the guys place that invited them and asks if everyone will please bring ice pops and booze-Age 18

-Everyone immediately starts playing a girls vs. boys flip-cup game, cheering, mockery, and Chrissy "can crusher" "Machine-han" Sheahan are all part of the game-Age 21

The winning team! Holly and Chrissy with their new friends Charlie and ShanShan!

-Chrissy and Holly decide to drunkenly make their way home but not before stopping at McDonald's for an ice cream cone-Age 13
-They order thai at home, watch Catch Me if You Can simultaneously with The Bachelorette and pass out-Age 24

-Paige and Steven wake up early and get coffee and go for a walk on the beach- Age 40
-Since its not a sunny beach day and there are no surfable waves, Steven suggests they check out his childhood favorite 8-mile canoe trip- Age 25
On this "adventure" Paige learns:
-She has a serious fear of swans after Steven informs her that "their wing could break your leg"- Age 8

To prove Steven's point, this swan video is a much-needed addition

-You shouldn't challenge Steven's paddling skills or he will get overzealous and the canoe WILL tip- Age 16
-Once the canoe tips and your camera sinks to the bottom of the river it will take more than a few hours to laugh about how funny it actually was- Age 32
-After the canoe trip and lost camera Steven feeds Paige 12 oysters, 12 clams and a bucket of steamers and she forgets about the canoe tippage- Age 24
-A food-coma 3 hour nap- Age 8
-Paige and Steven have dinner with 8 of his friends at a fancy restaurant, in the middle of dinner one friend enters and "ices"* everyone, Paige pounds her Smirnoff Ice the fastest, surprising no one- Age 17
-Paige is feeling "drinky drinky" by now and is explaining her idea of a "baby game show" to all of Stevens friends- Age 16 (a baby game show is where you take a bunch of babies- under 2 years of age- and see who can do a puzzle or something the fastest. its like a normal game show but way more adorable)

-When Holly tires of writing on people's facebook walls at 8am she goes and jumps on Chrissy to wake her up-Age 14
-The two go into the city and meet Kristy, they all go to Maoz to get falafel pitas-Age 24
-Kristy and Holly are the last women standing and decide to go home only after they have gone to 3 Chinatown ladies boutiques-Age 16
-all the girls make about 9 bowls of popcorn at Underhill and wait for Paige to come home-Age 24
-Paige jangles her bracelets until Steven wakes up- Age 12
-Paige and Steven have bacon egg and cheese's and "jumbos" for breakfast- Age 15 (a "jumbo" is an enormous iced tea)
-They lay out on the beach until Paige says "its time for ice cream and sprinkles in my mouth"- Age 9
-Paige and Steven check out of the Bed & Breakfast and walk around town saying goodbye to all of Steven's friends. They can't decide on a spot for dinner so they head back to where the shellfish feast happened the day before- Age 21
-On the ride back Steven tries to keep Paige from falling asleep by opening her window whenever she dozes- Age 14

Our average age for last weekend totaled to 20.6, this is low thanks to Smirnoff Ice and wearing patriotic clothing. Next weekend Holly goes to a wedding at the same location she celebrated her 13th birthday and Paige has friends in town.

Forever Your Girls,

Paige and Holly