Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Humpday: JanJo's Walk of Shame

We know we have been tardy to the party with our Maturity Index. So to compensate for another late posting, today we will do our humpday one day early. Deal?

January Jones, someone Paige and I would probably buy a blow-up doll of, has been getting some negative press lately. Last week she got into a car accident which originally was the “fault of the paparazzi”, however now rumors are spreading that the crash involved some booze and Bobby Flay (quite the combo eh?).

A spatula that does more that's good for more than grilling if you know what we mean...

Drunk driving with the Boy Meets Grill star is bad enough, however January Jones’ (Betty!) life only gets worse. This morning TMZ is circulating pics of JanJo (I made that little nickname up on the spot) getting out of a cab in the dress she wore the night before to some sort of Ocean Day party... SCANDAL!

Let’s take a step back.
First off, had Paige and I known that last Thursday was Ocean Day we would have listened to the Free Willy soundtrack or chatted about our dislike for dolphins or something. That aside, let’s discuss that January Jones goes out to celebrate dolphins in a slutty dress, gets laid, and then decides to cab-it home the next day in the SAME SLUTTY DRESS?!
Like we said, SAME SLUTTY DRESS!

Could we love this girl any more? Sure we feel bad for her and are dedicating a premature Humpday to her and the fact that she can't even do a walk of shame in private, but now we feel like she could really be one of our friends.

We can now easily imagine us, hand in hand in slutty dresses with January, going by fake names for the night should some Barney hit on us, (“January, you be December? Oh and Paige you be July and I’ll be March!”), and cheersing to the well-being of the manatee. The next day January would call us up, tell us about her wild night getting fed grilled strawberries in bed by Bobby Flay and come over in her slutty dress via cab to watch Lifetime with us while we get French fries delivered.

JanJo, we are sorry that people are giving you shit for this. But don’t feel so bad. It’s not as if you were snapped leaving a frat house. And we like your slutty little dress! Heck we even like Bobby Flay! Sure we are glad we don’t have to go through that humiliation, but we totally love you even more for it.

Happy Humpday everyone! At least you haven’t had January Jone’s walk of shame. Really, what would Don think?

Forever Your Girl,

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