Monday, November 16, 2009

Maturity Index: Weekend Recap

A bird's eye view of last weekend would show decently-behaved, non-violent, well-mannered young ladies. However, as is accessorizing or making really good spaghetti sauce, its the details that count.

Will Paige finally doing laundry make up for the fact that I tripped on the way to the gym while ogling an adorable shitsu? Will my responsible Saturday night at home make up for the fact that Georgia Rule (starring Lindsay Lohan and Jane Fonda) went over my head?
It was a weekend of sports, pubs, and all the Lifetime one can handle, which in our case, is an embarrassingly large amount.
This is last weekend's Maturity Index:

-Lost my wallet and starting crying until my mother said she would give me some $ -Age 12
-knew I was slightly taking advantage of my wonderful mother after she admitted to downing 2 bloody's- Age 15
Went out on the Upper East Side with the girls, umbrellas in hand- Age 32
-to a pub that was basically playing "Nelly's Greatest Hits"- Age 15
-Paige and I made up an extremely impromptu dance that was cute yet provocative- Age 17
-We did it over and over again to Country Grammar- Age 16
-it only took about 1/2 a beer to start making fun of everyone's "creative" facial hairstyles and coordinating Affliction t-shirts- Age 20
-We left and found nicest cabbie in the history of New York, who allowed 6 kids into cab and brought to West Village- Age 19
-Walked around sorta lost in rain until Paige got us to the pub, Fiddlesticks - Age 27
-Paige called it Fiddledicks -Age 13
-This bar felt like our freshman year of college at CofC- Age 19
-Because of high levels of fratasticness, low levels of buying our own drinks and the fact that the most stimulating conversation we had all night was with a John Mayer look-alike, regarding how much he looked like John Mayer (we really wish we had a picture of this dead ringer for so many different reasons)- Age 19

-Was forced to brunch in and walk around hipster park in leopard coat, moccasins, and necklace that resembles the one in Titanic- Age 20
-Paige finally did her laundry! Yippie! - Age 30
-Let's not get too excited, she had to do 4 loads because she went about 4 months of watching Degrassi and shopping my underwear drawer to avoid this domestic deed- Age 15
-We watched The Beach, starring Leonardo DiCaprio- Age 22
-We were all literally blushing at the scenes when Leonardo (at the ripe age of 16) is topless- Age 12
-Halfway through this movie we went to get "lunch" which included "healthy" chips, chocolate-covered pretzels, and a Hershey bar- Age 20
-After the exhausting task of watching The Beach, Paige and I kept in "theme" and watched Beaches- Age 56
-While Kristy and Chrissy watched Paul Blart: Mall Cop in Kristys room- Age 13
-I made some truly nasty remarks about Bette Midler's aesthetics mostly just to talk over Kristy and Chrissy's crazy laughter at Mr. Blart- Age 18
-Chrissy and I stayed in, watching Lifetime, watching commercials for anti-wrinkle anything, drinking wine, and hoping we would stay up late enough to watch SNL- Age 52
-Paige went to sophisticated birthday dins- Age 45
-Kristy babysat- Age 14
-We all (sans Kristy but plus two males) died laughing at January Jones pretending to ahem, pass gass, on SNL- Age 9 (although we kept saying how much Paige's mom would like that one and she is just over 40).

-Wake up and do gym-like things- Age 29
-We all head out to a sporting event! How jock-ish of us!- Age 33
-We boozed pretty hard before hand- Age 21
-We bought candy/snacks for train before boozing -Age 9
-Kristy and Chrissy needed ice cream during the soccer game- Age 5
-Paige took photos as as we saw the ice cream truck change locations and watched the girls quickly hurry to new location to ensure ice cream purchase- Age 8

-Paige had to, not unlike Halloween, take a little nap during the game- Age 2
-Had pretty sophisticated brewski's after the game at rooftop bar with the team and other fans-Age 28
-Kristy and Paige were basically wrestling in front of everyone at one point- Age 15
-Because of a BUTT-PUNCHING fight that Paige def started- Age 7
-Paige and I layed on the floor of the bar playing with a beautiful shitsu while sort of singing to it -Age 6
-This inspired us to teach my crush's bestie our cute/provocative dance we came up with Saturday night- Age 12
-The night ended with Paige and I walking hand-in-hand down Washington Ave declaring our love for one another, our deep understanding of each other's souls, and then spooned on the couch with the rest of the girls...fade scene - I feel like this could be any age so no years, just a lovely ending to a youthful weekend.

Despite floor pet-petting and John Mayer gossiping we still proved to be legal adults: Age 19.2.

Forever Your Girl,

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