Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Hump Day: Soccer Brutality at It's Best

We, Paige, Holly, and anyone else that lives in or enters our home do not watch sports. Should ESPN flicker into view we switch to anything else as quickly as one would while getting caught watching a dirty L Word episode and our dad walked in. That's the only rule: NO SPORTS. Deadliest Catch, Man vs. Food, infomercials, Wife Swap, Rich Bride Poor Bride are all okay, except Paige has issues with my not-so-secret love for Mythbusters.

So while watching the Kardashian wedding, talking about Gossip Girl threesomes, and mingling in Perez Hilton's website, we came across a clip from a New Mexico women's soccer game and an extreme exception was made.

This clip made us cringe, cover our eyes, and, admittedly, laugh. At first, one feels bad for all of the victims in this game. But after a while it doesn't seem that far off from the Bad Girl's Club or my favorite Mean Girls scene. We can't help but feel bad for this Elizabeth Lambert (can you imagine someone calling this girl 'Bethie'?) She will never be able to tell her kids to be "team players" or punish them for being "bad sports". Her mother is probably banging a frying pan against her head watching the footage. She is being called the most violent soccer player in history, and for a little hair-pulling? I looked up her profile on New Mexico's athletics page and found out this:

Born Elizabeth Ann Lambert on December 29, 1988 ... enjoys camping and surfing in her spare time ... favorite food is tacos ... is majoring in University Studies with a focus on Occupational Therapy.

I mean, she doesn't seem like anyone we would be BEST friends with, and we would have to watch out for wearing any sort of precocious ponytails. But we could definitely see ourselves enjoying tacos together, hearing about crazy nights she's had in Tijuana, drinking Corona's with lime, watching her put a girl in the ER after a bar fight...
So today's Hump Day goes out to all of you who are feeling bad about being...err...too violent? Or for any of our friends that are being punished for hair-pulling? Feel better about your lives, violent actions, and punching people in the back. At least you aren't Elizabeth Lambert. But if you were, then you would be the biggest bad ass that has ever graced the website of Perez Hilton, Lil Kim and Left Eye included.

Forever Your Girl,

P.S. An Honorable Hump Day Mention goes out to Paige S. Tibbetts, for having to listen to country music all day. Paige, I had to listen to country music every time I was in Kristy's car, at every high school dance/function/study hall, and I'm pretty sure Lone Star was playing while I had my first this is isn't even that honorable. Boom.

1 comment:

  1. oh my god Bethie is YOUNGER than us... for some reason that makes her infinitely more scary. Like the little orphan in the movie... um "The Orphan"