Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Hump Day Inspiration:

Tiger's Over-Looked Skanks..

We didn't want to, but we kind of had to write about this, no?

Skanks are everywhere. Look around you, you most likely have a co-worker, roommate or friend who is a skank and, odds as they are, there's a good chance this person has had "transsgressions" with Tiger Woods. You know those celebrity love triangles that shows how Ryan Seacrest is convulutedly related to Reba McIntire? We think it would be easier for anyone on planet Earth to be romantically linked to Tiger.

Look, we understand that infidelity is no laughing matter and there are so many people who've been wounded by Tiger. His beautiful wife, his children, his family, his fans, and especially his sponsors. Its hard to decide who to feel sorriest for! But Holly and my hearts really, truly go out to... the skanks that did not catch the Eye of (the)Tiger.

Lets face it, Tigs was all over the place, not only was he into the requisite blonde, the big boobed Vegas club girl, he had a soft spot for the "guidette New Jersey Shore" type, and he was also into homely, Perkins waitresses. Basically it could have been anyone...

For instance, here is a picture of Tiger's Perkins waitress, if she is good enough....

...then why not her... She looks nice!

And if this, fun lovin' Vegas party girl was hot enough to get down with Tiger...

...then why not this 'ol gal? She looks like a blast!

What we are trying to say is that we feel terrible for all parties involved, (besides Tiger, because as it turns out, he's kind of an enormous jerk, oh and our hearts aren't exactly bleeding for the home-wrecking skanks either) but we feel extra bad for the Vegas party girl standing next to the one that got to hook up with Tiger then sell her story for tons of cash, we feel bad for the Perkins waitress who was assigned to the table next to Tigers, missed opportunity stings.

Holly would also like to stress that she LOVES Perkin's, particularly the one in Sauk Rapids MN, that serves blueberry pancakes smotherd in butter and love.

Forever your un-skanky girl,


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