Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Friday, March 26, 2010
-a lamb craving
-my new Degree Girl "Just Dance!" deodorant that has a pink glitter cap
-the fact that that Beyonce might be pregnant
-the fact that I am going to a Perpetual Groove concert tonight with my boyfriend and couldn't name a Perpetual Groove song if I had a knife to my throat
A Lady Gaga show...
-my dream last night that involved the partial nudity of male cast members of "Dancing with the Stars"
My brain power isn't quite powerful enough to compose a concise post about any of these thoughts, so instead Paige and I will give you a little weekend treat.
Paige's ex-roommate from college, Brittany, is coming for a little visit tonight. My fondest Brittany memory (that I'm aware of) is when I brought my mother into the Roxy store in Charleston, where Brittany and Paige worked. Brittany had recently adopted a black chihuahua who was appropriately named Gnarly. As a "prank" (on who, it is unclear) Brittany had glued a black hair extension track to Gnarly's head and after removal some extension glue still remained on the tiny dogs head. Instead of my mother commenting on something about gluing things to dogs' heads, she just suggested putting Goo-Be-Gone on the dogs tangerine-sized head to remove the weave by-product. Brilliant!
So, as this is a Brittany/Gnarly/Doing Weird Things With Dogs themed weekend, please enjoy this clip of de-weaved Gnarly in "robot shoes".
Everybody have great weekend! I am excited to pretend to know words to songs I have never heard before and we are all excited to see Brittany!
Forever Your Girl,
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Friday, March 19, 2010
Chrissy came into my room this morning while i was applying CoverGirl eye shadow, that probably dates back to Britney's first hit single, saying she wasn't in the mood for the sports bar thingy she had planned for later tonight.
I don't blame her, as we live in a house that has more appreciation for Degrassi's fake Canadian high schoolers than any sort of real sports team. I told her I was maybe going to Williamsburg to drink $4 Styrofoam margaritas while holding my boyfriends $3 beer while he played Buckhunter but wouldn't mind pregaming for such plans.
Thus starts our first margarita of the Summerish weather 2010.
Whilst spending our workday googling, "Best Cheapest Strongest Pitchers of Margaritas on the Lower East Side of NYC" we somehow found time to reminisce on our Best Cheapest Margarita in Charleston, SC days.
Which made me think of the best story, not even second to the "Kristy kicked through a chain lock in to our Scholes street apt" story, ever. I'm not sure if we have blogged this story yet, although anyone that knows either of us has heard it no less than 5 times from each of us. It goes like this (this story is better if you imagine me telling it to you in a dark closet with a flashlight under my chin):
Paige and I and some friends were having fishbowl margaritas and free chips at La Hacienda (the Best Cheapest Strongest yada yada in Charleston). Paige and I were both girl-crushing on each other pretty hard at that point, smiling and getting tingly when we would accidentally bump hands while going in for the queso at the same time.
Somewhere in there my ex showed up with his new girlfriend that, thinking back on it now, really resembled an adolescent Jamie Jungers (or is Jamie Jungers currently an adolescent?).
Don't text this woman/girl
Emotions started flying with the Jungers girl and the tingly queso hands and Paige and I ended up in the bathroom alone together...and the rest is sort of hazy except we are pretty sure I told Paige I wanted her to be my sister or similar and anyhow we somehow decided we'd find an apartment together in New York City after graduating.
This bathroom confessional was basically forgotten until 2 days later when Paige, Family Size Chex Mix in non-tingly hands, walked into our Religious Studies 101 (we were college seniors) announcing she had found us a glorified one bedroom in Bushwick where we could live with her High School friend that could speak to cats. Of course I accepted.
So we both liked to think that it all started with a margarita. Well, more like 15 margaritas if you count the triple fishbowls and all.
The one on the left with the maroon is where the story took place. Sorry if this picture makes you nauseous
That said, tonight we drink margaritas again, together, amongst friends. The margaritas, the queso, probably some emotional confessions will all be present. The only difference about tonight's marg consumption will be, similar to each cast of The Real World, that we have stopped being polite, and will therefore be elbowing and possibly mouth-snatching eachother's queso, rather than blushing while going in for the same cheese.
Who wouldn't fight for this?
Have a great weekend everyone!
Forever Your Girl,
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
But this St. Patrick's Day has, so far, gone largely unrecognized.
What we mean, besides Happy St. Patrick's Day, is that us Irish girls celebrate St. Patty's day all year round and encourage other's to do the same. The Irish are known as people with "big personalities", as in the "Irish are big drinkers", the "Irish are always late", and apparently the Irish wear curly wigs and dance with swords.
So this weekend, when everyone else is wearing black and drinking Bud Light and not even thinking about swords, there is a good chance that Paige and myself will be taking shots of Jameson, dancing, and having a faux knife-fight.
Forever Your Irish Girls that Have Eyes that are Smiling,
Holly and Paige
P.S. in looking for Sword Dancing, I figured out that it's Scottish, but is inspired by Irish music. So there.
Monday, March 15, 2010
When we grow up or go to Nevernever Land...
The aptly named "Bacon Explosion"
So in the spirit of new jobs and old jobs and dream jobs, here is a list of our favorite kind of job: The Dream Job:
Paige's Top 3:
1.) Tortured Author- Mainly because eccentric, troubled, genius, tortured authors get away with everything, sometimes even murder (I'm lookin at you, Burroughs). If I were a tortured author I could really do whatever the hell I wanted, at any time of day I desired and people would just be all like "That Tibbetts, she's a genius! Thats why she's wearing her underwear on our roof at 6 am on a Tuesday with a bottle of Sambuca and a paint-ball gun, she must be preparing for her next brilliant novel." But due to my unfortunately lovely childhood, my lack of drug addiction and the absence of genius in my writing (see: everything I've ever written) I think the option of Tortured Author is off the table.
3.) Owner of a restaurant that specializes on pairing adult beverages with candy- Because, duh.
Holly's Top 3:
1. I am never a supporter of torture unless it is upon ants with a magnifying glass when I was seven and bored. So therefore I choose untortured author. The kind that writes at her grandmother's antique desk while wearing a kimono and sipping hot unsweetened tea. On a farm. A farm with goats and chickens. And writes stories that make people cry and call their mom's at the end thanking them for the gift of life so they could read my stuff. Remember, this is a DREAM job.
3. Professional gymnastics judge. Sure, I would rather watch figure skating, but this would mean logging lots of chilly hours in chilly arenas. And gymnasts walk around in skimpy 'tards so those gymnasiums must be warm. And I like gymnastics and 'tards and probably the concessions sold at those things. So yes that would be awesome.
Forever Your Girl,
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Drew likes to wear her crop to show her cool tattoo that is probably of a fairy or similar
metallic crop tops...I definitely had this single, and although the crops are great, all I see are lips
Crops are for kids
This Inexplicable Obsession is basically to show you how cool crops are and to urge you to get a few so our midriffs won't feel so alone this summer. *BONUS* crop means less material which means it's usually cheaper than your average noncropped top. So you can spend more on practical things like this.
This Inexplicable Obsession is also to urge you to go out an watch "Devil in the Flesh" so we can have something else to chat about with our family and friends and strangers we may meet who have read this post.
Forever Your Girl,
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
-At work, Paige is gifted a bottle of Three Olives Orange Flavored Vodka, from The L Magazine's generous editor, Jonny Diamond- Age 24
-After work we all get ready for a night in Manhattan, we are extremely excited, like tourists (because Friday's too often are spent resting for Saturday festivities)- Age 18
-We take the train because a $15 cab sounds outrageously expensive- Age 22
-On the train we sit across from an obviously crack-fried man sprawled across three seats, we giggle nervously as he sporadically wakes up and shouts obscene comments at no one, soon a woman with a snare drum misguidedly sits across from him, banging the drum and waking him up, they fight, we get scared- Age 14 -
-We finally arrive to pre-game at our friends apartment, that is decorated almost solely with pictures of Robert Patinson- Age 12
-The four of us finish the gifted vodka- Age 19
-We go dance in the creepy caves in the basement of Lit Lounge until 3:45am- Age 21
-We drunk dial our poor, sleeping boyfriends- Age 18
-We had commitments to other people and therefore the only interesting things that happened were Paige discovering our roommate owns a pair of white, bedazzled, mary-jane style Sketchers, and Holly having to convince Brooklyn Bowl security she was with friends friends after she is discovered sleeping on a chair, alone- No age, just that's as cool as Saturday got.
-While waiting to meet up with Kristy in the West Village, we eat bagels and encourage spontaneous dog fights-Age 9
-We go to the puppy store, convince the manager that we are serious about buying a Pomeranian/Maltise (Pomertise? Maltimanian?) so he lets us play with her for about an hour.
-We name her Ghost and let her lick our mouths- Age 10
-We learn the price of the dog is $1,100 after discount and they'll throw in a Vet visit and we all start discussing how we could "make it work"- Age 12
-Paige reminds everyone that we are not going home with a $1,100 no matter how cute the dog is or how hot the British puppy store manager is- Age 24
-We go get fro-yo at Philio Yogurt where we mix all the flavors and put on an amount of topings that would induce a diabetic coma. Holly eats hers then finishes Paige's- Age 13
-We go to French Connection where we admire the $400 dresses, but Holly just buys a sparkle-swan necklace thats on sale for $5-Age 12
We sit at Paige's boyfriends cafe and contemplate what we'll purchase with our upcoming Tax Returns- Age 40
-While passing the store "Evolution" on Spring St. Paige notices a narwhal tusk in the window, decides this is what she'll buy with her tax return- Age 17 (and bizzare)
-Holly is on a desperate mission to buy a white, pleather, mini- backpack she saw online at Topshop- Age 12
-Holly can't find mini backpack and spends the rest of the afternoon pouting and is especially depressed as Paige cannot stop making fun of mini backpack obession- Age 6
-We decide to head back to Brooklyn and buy supplies for our "Oscar Party"- Age 45
- At Met we buy culturally-ambitious supplies:
-Holly buys gear to make thai-peanut noodles- Age 43
-Paige buys supplies to make pesto and parmesan crostini's- Age 32
-Kristy buys ingredients for Coco-Crispy Treats- Age 10
I'm sure that's what my parents had in mind when they bought me that laptop
-Holly also buys Cadbury egg candies, she feeds them to Paige and Kristy, noting "I feel like I'm a Momma bird and you are my baby birds and I'm feeding you.... eggs...." we all get a little upset thinking about this - Age 10
-At home we resort to watching the incredibly unattractive cast of The Real World: DC, because nothing else is on- Age 19
-We puttz around the kitchen, making food and wagering on who will win what Oscars- Age 45
- It's almost time! We prepare ourselves to "authentically" enjoy the Oscars by each putting on "ball gowns", Paige wears an old prom dress and Holly wears "H&M Couture" with Uggs and clip on earrings that are the ones the winner of Pretty Pretty Princess gets- Age 8
-We watch the E! red carpet interviews, we make fun of spray tans (Matt Damon), give our enlightened opinions on who's dress is great (Sarah Jessica Parker) and who's dress makes their boobs look crazy (Charlize Theron) and who needs to work on their posture (Miley irus)- Age 24
-At the strike of 8 o'clock... the moment we've been waiting 12 months for! We flip to ABC only to find that ABC has been pulled off the air by CableVision. We can't believe it. We enter the 5 stages of grief:
-Denial, "This cant possibly be happening, we are in PROM DRESSES!"
Anger, "Why are they doing this to us?! What did we ever do to ABC?! I'm going to kill someone".
Bargaining, "If we to go the soccer bar up the street dressed like this, maybe we can convince them to let us watch the Oscars there".
Depression, "I just want to take the rest of these thai noodles and eat them in bed listening to Elliott Smith".
And, acceptance "I mean, we can just watch the highlights on the news tomorrow" and istead turn on a show titled, "Priests"- Age 50
-After we come to grips with what has happened we sit, gowned, in a girlpile and stuff our faces with what should have been our Oscar Party food for a full hour- Age 23
-Only to then recieve a text that ABC and CableVision have struck a last minute deal and we once again get ABC, cry a little bit, what an emotional roller coaster, girlpile and oscar "gowns" are adjusted, everyone gets serious about Oscar watching and is thankful about keeping updo's despite Oscar trauma- Age 30
-Enjoy the witty repartee between hosts Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin, cry a little at the John Huges tribute, and get really pumped that "The Hurt Locker" kicked "Avatar"s ass. Remark that everything seems to work out in the end, hug each other and go to bed- Age 24
In the end we were 21.3 years old this past weekend. Life can get pretty hard at times, but really all you can do is sit with your friends, eat some cocoa krispies in a prom dress and hope for the best. Next weekend: a visitor from Paige's past and a good-bye fette.
Friday, March 5, 2010
If you haven't heard, this Sunday is the award show of award shows: The Oscars. Our award show party needs to be that of Oscar-caliber and must be well-thought out and planned, just like, oh say, Sandra Bullock needs to plan out her Oscar day.
Here is our Oscar Day itinerary:
6:30am Kristy wakes up everyone in the house via crawling into bed and cuddling
6:42am Kristy realizes this really isn't appreciated yet and goes to her own room
6:45am Kristy is able to fall back asleep
7:25am Holly/Paige are finally able to fall back asleep
8:45am Everyone girlpiles on the couch to recap Saturday night, arguments about coffee brand and strength ensue
9:00am fingers crossed for Degrassi
11:00am Everyone heads to get brunchy food that needs to include French fries for Holly
11:12am Discussion on what sort of Oscar party food we will devour...Avatartes? The Blind Sliders? A Single Flan? James Camerones?
11:30am Paige eats her fries with mustard
12:00am We decide to go to Bleeker St to take our mind off of the coming night's excitement
12:30 Go to Marc by Marc Jacobs an elbow tourists while looking at handbags we won't be able to afford unless we win an Oscar one day
1:00pm We start second guessing some of our Oscar picks so get a pick-me-up, pay-what-it-weighs-FroYo
1:30pm We all start freaking out we might miss one second of one of Ryan Seacrests awkward red carpet interviews and decide we need to shop for our Oscar Apps
2:15pm Walk around the fabulous Met Supermarket in Clinton Hill shopping for peanut butter, marshmallows, Dumps, candy corn, ingredients for meatballs, etc.
The ever-so-quaint Met Foods in Clinton Hill
2:40pm We all start freaking out we might miss one of Miss Jay's red carpet makeovers to make some poor girl look like Kristen Stewart and hurry our asses home
3:00pm We put on Madonna's "Vogue" and start getting red carpet-ready
3:02pm Dancing in our own respective "gowns" ensues
3:10pm Kristy gives us red carpet Updo's that rival those that will be madeover by Jay Manuel
4:00pm We look at the Oscar Countdown and watch Chris Harrison's "Road to Oscars" video on Oscar.com
4:30pm We look at movie trailers on Paige's computer and usually a couple fights start about this for various reasons
5:30pm Girlfights are resolved and everyone starts making The Oscar Feast
6:00pm We all sit on the couch or the floor with our Oscar feast on our closed laptops and pig out while complaining that Guliana Rancic is too too skinny
8:00pm Turn of E! and Guliana and Jay Manuel and Ryan Seacrest and turn on The Oscars (squeal!)
8:10pm We wait until Steve Martin and Alex Baldwin are done speaking to talk about our individual love and attraction for these silver foxes
9:00pm Assemble The Second Oscar Feast
9:30pm Kristy falls asleep on someones shoulder but still wakes up to smile and nod her opinions about big Oscar Wins
At whatever time the Oscars are done we get into Paige's toaster and fall asleep. Meryl Streep narrates our dreams of gold men and men with silver hair like Jay Manuel and people with orange skin like Guliana.
Forever Your Girl,
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
I have so graciously included which actor/actress is up for what, but not the movies as Paige lists every single one as part of her decision making process. And the nominees are:
Performance by an actor in a leading role
Jeff Bridges in "Crazy Heart" (Fox Searchlight)
George Clooney in "Up in the Air" (Paramount in association with Cold Spring Pictures and DW Studios)
Colin Firth in "A Single Man" (The Weinstein Company)
Morgan Freeman in "Invictus" (Warner Bros.)
Jeremy Renner in "The Hurt Locker" (Summit Entertainment)
Performance by an actor in a supporting role
Matt Damon in "Invictus" (Warner Bros.)
Woody Harrelson in "The Messenger" (Oscilloscope Laboratories)
Christopher Plummer in "The Last Station" (Sony Pictures Classics)
Stanley Tucci in "The Lovely Bones" (DreamWorks in association with Film4, Distributed by Paramount)
Christoph Waltz in "Inglourious Basterds" (The Weinstein Company)
Performance by an actress in a leading role
Sandra Bullock in "The Blind Side" (Warner Bros.)
Helen Mirren in "The Last Station" (Sony Pictures Classics)
Carey Mulligan in "An Education" (Sony Pictures Classics)
Gabourey Sidibe in "Precious: Based on the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire" (Lionsgate)
Meryl Streep in "Julie & Julia" (Sony Pictures Releasing)
Performance by an actress in a supporting role
Penélope Cruz in "Nine" (The Weinstein Company)
Vera Farmiga in "Up in the Air" (Paramount in association with Cold Spring Pictures and DW Studios)
Maggie Gyllenhaal in "Crazy Heart" (Fox Searchlight)
Anna Kendrick in "Up in the Air" (Paramount in association with Cold Spring Pictures and DW Studios)
Mo'Nique in "Precious: Based on the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire" (Lionsgate)
Best Supporting Actress :
Best Supporting Actor :
I really hope it's not Avatar, I didn't see Avatar because I'm never really interested in things that can't actually happen. But mainly, I don't want it to win because when James Cameron won best picture for Titantic he screamed "I'm king of the world", and seriously, if he pulls shit like that again he will single handedly ruin my Oscars. I didn't see "Up", because cartoons hurt my eyes. I didn't see "Nine" because Kate Hudson sings in it and I can pretty much die happy if I never have to hear something like that. I didn't see "An Education" because I heard that Peter Saarsgard plays a child molester and I think he's so hot, it would really upset me. I fell asleep in District 9, I don't have the stomach for Precious, Inglorious Bastards was awesome but I don't think it has the chops to win, The Blind Side was too cheesy, A Serious Man didn't get enough hype and I didn't see Up In The Air (because I saw Dear John instead.. bad move). My vote is for The Hurt Locker, because it was really awesome (Holly's boyfriend is WAY wrong) and I would LOVE to see a woman director win this, and if that woman is James Camerons hot ex-wife, all the better.
This could never happen. Blue creatures could never have teeth this straigt.
Best Supporting Actress:
Best Supporting Actor:
This is our favorite Oscar, OBVIOUSLY